Op-Ed: Mike Pence Wanted To Grab Trumps GOP Nomination By The P*ssy

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McKay Coppins has a fascinating piece on Mike Pence out in The Atlantic. (TRIGGER WARNING for “longread about Mike Pence.”) Much of it is about how Mike loves Jesus and Jesus is the boss of Mike and God is the boss of Jesus and Donald Trump is the boss of Mike and that’s why Mike lies for Donald Trump so much. Whole buncha Bible fuckery, if you ask us.

It also reveals the trivia factoid that Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” thinks Trump is a trash human being. Yay, we agree with Mother about something!
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Another interesting detail in Coppins’s piece is that when Pence was younger, he was not good at sports like his brothers, who were “lean and hard and thin.” Pence, on the other hand, described himself as “the real pumpkin in the pickle patch,” to which we reply HAHA WE BET MIKE PENCE WOULD LIKE TO BE A PUMPKIN IN A PICKLE PATCH, IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. (How many pickles can you stuff inside a pumpkin? Dunno let’s find out!)


Real shitty how we just jammed a “Mike Pence might be a real big gay closet case” joke into the end of this piece for no reason, but that’s Wonkette for ya. - Wonkette