"Narcissists win when they can get you off balance" - great analysis of Trump

[fleur-de-lisa]

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[guillaumeb]

1. And it allows them to frame the debate.

The GOP excels at framing the debate.

[dalton99a]

3. Yep.

[marylandblue]

2. I've worked with a narcissist

Last edited Fri Oct 27, 2017, 01:06 PM - Edit history (1)

He is exactly right, and that's what they do. It's hard to explain if you haven't seen it up close. That's why getting worked up over every tweet is pointless. The Democratic leadership, to their credit, doesn't react that much. They must have been coached.

[LeftInTX]

8. So agree with you!!!

Drives me nuts when my friends get worked up over his tweets.....

My dad always told me not to be reactive over this kind of stuff. He says, "If you react, then that gives them ammunition"

[dalton99a]

4. "they can run off and do whatever the hell they want while you stew"

Great thread

[Squinch]

5. I would only disagree with this: the tweeter says that once they have whipped people

into a frenzy they walk away not caring about the reaction.

That is not my experience with my narcissistic relative. They LIVE for that reaction. That reaction brings them joy and lets them bask in their power. They would NEVER walk away. They might, indeed, go quiet as the tweeter shows Trump(R) has done, but they don't walk away. They stick around and watch with very focused and detailed interest. It's one of the reasons that Trump is so attached to social media. It lets him watch the reactions to his actions.

[Hortensis]

6. Yes. They love manipulating for power but savoring the

end, the power they have achieved over others--and their own feeling that others are aware of it, is a huge part of it.

A relative, huh? A decades long educational experience for your family. All I can boast is a step relative with a pattern of using her real charm to draw and then cold-shouldering, but I'd bet money she at least has strong traits of a manipulative cluster B disorder. She's been diagnosed with pseudoseizures and multiple sclerosis, but her poor close relatives, knowing her too well, don't even trust those to be real.

Oh, well. If Rump ever seems to walk away, it'll probably be both because he does not need to prove his power to himself and also because there are so many ways to exercise it, so many people to abuse, too little time.

Also, he needs to be loved and admired, which probably means he's constantly having to stroke up those he's hurt around him so he can do it all over again. Guessing billionaires have to invest a lot less time in this than the typical narcissist, and presidents even less, but still...

[marylandblue]

10. They walk away when they think they can do better elsewhere

For relatives, unfortunately, that's usually never. But my experience was in the work place. When the narcissist was about to get fired, he filed a discrimination claim, walked away with a big settlement and got a better job elsewhere. I am sure he is enjoying tormenting people at his new position.

[nadine_mn]

7. My mom is a narc and for 44 of my 45 yrs this has been her MO

I am extremely susceptible to her manipulation (well until the past 2 yrs) and she would whip me up in a frenzy against someone she perceived did her wrong or just for kicks. She would call me I tears about how her brother was using my grandparents (who I adored) and by the time I would see him, I would be so angry. And she would stand back and soak it all in.

It's not so much that they walk away, as that they stand back and admire their work. And pretend to have no idea how it started...and look at how unstable that person is..all upset over nothing.

The other thing that narcs do is cause intense reactions because they have no idea how to feel. My mom has no idea about how to show love, true grief, or compassion. Narcs only know anger (narc rage). My mom loved to get me to cry...told me my dog died then laughed when I started crying and said April Fools! (I was 8). She would watch how I would react, then try to mimic it when the occasion called for it.

It's so hard to understand this behavior (still is for me) because it is so sick. It is so hard to believe that someone gets joy or satisfaction at causing other people pain just for fun.

[LeftInTX]

9. I'm so sorry

I don't know how the Trump stuff effects you....

I was raised with a level headed dad who warned me about these types of behaviors. I was a hot headed young adult and my dad kept pointing out my over reaction to bullies of the world. His advice has allowed me to stay sane with Trump's antics.

(However, I don't feel sane about the GOP running the country. The GOP's policies scare me much more than Trump )