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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums"Arguing with liberals is like playing chess with a pigeon..."
A post from one of my FB "friends" this morning...
He posted: Arguing with liberals is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over all the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around the table looking victorious.
My response: Arguing with conservatives is like playing chess with a six year old. No matter whether you let them win, or kick their ass, at some point they'll throw a tantrum, toss the board in the air, and storm out of the room crying.
.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,976 posts)unblock
(52,489 posts)he busts out some dice or a toy dinosaur and starts inventing rules that suit him better.
or he just tells me i can't capture his pieces.
goodness, that DOES sound mighty republican, doesn't it?
randome
(34,845 posts)unblock
(52,489 posts)but yes, perhaps we should take a more positive view....
in any event, he's a delight and very entertaining!
donquijoterocket
(488 posts)At that your six year old sounds more emotionally and intellectually mature than most cons.
HiPointDem
(20,729 posts)dinosaurs...
kids are a kick, guaranteed to bring belly laughs.
unblock
(52,489 posts)it's cute and pretty cool.
not only does a dinosaur teach chess, but there are some exercises where you have to move your chess pieces correctly before the dinosaurs attack!
HiPointDem
(20,729 posts)johnlal
(990 posts)If you start to win the game, he'll change chess boards and try to play a different game.
truebrit71
(20,805 posts)...
GoCubsGo
(32,100 posts)Another would have been:
Arguing with conservatives is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over all the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around the table looking victorious. And, they make sure they hang "Mission Accomplished" signs in the background first.
There. I fixed it for you.
Nice!
Chorophyll
(5,179 posts)patrice
(47,992 posts)At least the liberal will wreck the game and call that what it is, while the conservative will hang that banner and lie.
Curtland1015
(4,404 posts)Arguing with conservatives is like playing chess with a howler monkey. They don't know how to play, or why they're playing. They just screech at the top of their lungs and throw crap at you until you give up and leave.
SnowCritter
(810 posts)or I'd need to replace a keyboard and monitor!
NNN0LHI
(67,190 posts)I had to give up coffee due to the heat.
Take one sip and I had beads of sweat pouring out of my forehead.
I am jealous.
Don
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)... or a frapacino
patrice
(47,992 posts)Rhiannon12866
(206,710 posts)Brigid
(17,621 posts)Gidney N Cloyd
(19,847 posts)CJCRANE
(18,184 posts)Arguing with conservatives is like playing chess with a pigeon that projects all its faults onto its opponent. No matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over all the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around the table looking victorious, then accuse me of doing the same thing.
RC
(25,592 posts)anything original by themselves. The best they can do is co-op whatever and claim we copied them.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)yep that's what they do.
(yes, yes, Grammar Nazi strikes again. I usually try to restrain myself, but since we're being pretty light hearted on this thread.....I'm hoping the general atmosphere protects me from a swift whack to the snout. )
RC
(25,592 posts)How 'bout a pat on the head, instead?
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)You should see what I just did on a post that had a Published Headline with a misspelling!!!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=170121
I realllllllllllllllllly went nutz with the heavy artillery, but since I was pummeling a media instrument, and not a real-person, fellow DUer, it's OK!
Response to Atman (Original post)
devilgrrl This message was self-deleted by its author.
JHB
(37,166 posts)...They're so used to breathing in their own "atmosphere" they mistake your choking for speechlessness, and your passing out from lack of oxygen as fainting in fear.
JHB
(37,166 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)"and mistake the disgusted look on your face for elitism..."
You nailed it!
warrior1
(12,325 posts)coping and pasting from where ever he found it.
RC
(25,592 posts)Marr
(20,317 posts)he gets trounced when he tries to debate a liberal? "Knock over all the pieces" sounds like he throws out a series of talking points and his opponent pulls them apart. And why would someone "strut around" unless they had, in fact, made you look like a fool?
It sounds like he's frustrated by the fact that some people aren't as susceptible to bullshit as he is himself.
JBoy
(8,021 posts)and then yells "king me".
Initech
(100,139 posts)"Arguing with conservatives is like talking to a room full of sheep in front of a brick wall. You can repeat all the facts you want - nothing will get through that wall - and the sheep will just keep repeating what they are told by their church leaders and hate radio hosts until they are blue in the face and won't bother to jump over that wall."
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)siligut
(12,272 posts)That is the most maddening aspect.
nichomachus
(12,754 posts)Only a conservative is stupid enough to play chess with a bird.
randome
(34,845 posts)SaveAmerica
(5,342 posts)lpbk2713
(42,774 posts)My money's on the bird.
Johonny
(20,945 posts)sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)uponit7771
(90,371 posts)evilhime
(326 posts)Drale
(7,932 posts)the pigeon is going to win in the end no matter what they do.
Wounded Bear
(58,773 posts)you won't succeed and it just annoys the mule.
kentuck
(111,111 posts)stupidicus
(2,570 posts)I always likened it too playing someone who knows nothing about the game other than what the pieces are, how the pieces move on how many squares, and that I could likely easily beat blindfolded.
It's obviously not what they know that survives scrutiny -- as little as that frequently is more often than not -- that's the source of their problem, but rather what they don't know. For example, if you don't know the diff between a Sicialian and French defense, you really can't call yourself a chess player, much like you can't call yourself a race car driver just because you can drive a car.
Arguing with most cons is like racing against someone too stupid to release their parking brake. They are simply oblivious to the fact that a diet of Faux Views and drudge sludge is bad fuel and oil for a competitive race to the truth, because their breaking down along the way is all but assured.
ahg
(64 posts)You are going to get dirty, and the pig likes it.
thucythucy
(8,121 posts)at chess by a pigeon, that human would no doubt be a conservative.
chknltl
(10,558 posts)Heard that on The Thom Hartmann Show and he has yet to steer me wrong.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBXwMu7JFqc4&v=BXwMu7JFqc4&gl=US
kimbutgar
(21,270 posts)db00001 "Now let's get one thing straight--NOTHING that comes out of a comment from San Francisco has any credibility. San Francisco is the Jonestown of Guyana- California. Lunatic central."
I remember when Jonestown happened and it was a sad time in San Francisco, to reply to the creep would have made my blood boil and I would have released some awful venomous words so I passed. But the other side is really going insane.
Jeff Murdoch
(168 posts)are a full-on RW troll fest for the most part.
I occasionally browse them for the entertainment value, but always have to leave when the stupid begins to burn.
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)Arguing with a conservative is like playing chess with a robot. No matter how good I am at chess, when I make a factual point the robot will just deny and repeat the same programmed moves over and over expecting the same results -
ran out of time, gotta go. Maybe somebody can complete it.
Walk away
(9,494 posts)They have long ago lost the ability to think critically and they are proud of it. Their brains are cement.
Egalitarian Thug
(12,448 posts)They're ignorant and honestly believe that they are not only capable of understanding the game, but that they are much better at it than you. No matter how many time you explain the rules they keep trying to jump your pieces.
Dirty Socialist
(3,252 posts)The vast majority of liberals I know are modest. Does he project much?
Good reply, though.
Downtown Hound
(12,618 posts)because I have no intention of playing some bullshit game by conservative's rules that they themselves make. Now, if they want to play an actual game of chess with me, I'll gladly kick their ass. But I have no intention of letting them spit their craptacular facts and logic out and letting it stand. I'll make a mess of their metaphorical chessboard.
patrice
(47,992 posts)patrice
(47,992 posts)altogether.
Pigeons can do things he never dreamed of.
Zalatix
(8,994 posts)2ndAmForComputers
(3,527 posts)SunSeeker
(51,796 posts)The whole pigeon analogy exactly describes righties. It figures that a lefty came up with it to describe creationists. It is a very fitting description for the way right wing religious nuts argue.
cbrer
(1,831 posts)To track facts and policies, assemble cognizant opinions, and maintain a sense of clarity?
Now THAT'S a talented bird!
Tierra_y_Libertad
(50,414 posts)ThoughtCriminal
(14,052 posts)First you have to get past their insistence that they always get the white pieces. Then there's the exhausting argument when they claim that rooks can move diagonally.
No problem. I can make up rules too:
Zanzoobar
(894 posts)A pointless exercise.
hay rick
(7,662 posts)The first one to crap on the board always wins. The chess pieces are just there to confuse the issue.
cherokeeprogressive
(24,853 posts)hfojvt
(37,573 posts)But neither is a real argument.
Here on DU we presumably are arguing with fellow liberals, and my observation is that there is more knocking over pieces, crapping on the board and strutting around than there are chess-like arguments.
Unfortunately, I have far less experience arguing with conservatives. I mean, I do it with LTTEs, but there is no back and forth. I simply make my arguemnt as best I can in a brief letter, but I have no idea how the conservatives respond to what I write. One email exchange I got into with a conservative degenerated into him flinging insults at me, and he stopped talking when I called him on it.
In some ways I think it is too bad we cannot argue with conservatives here. I think an exchange might be more productive than just preaching to the choir and constantly being on troll hunt where arguments involve "you sound like a conservative" accusations.
Of course, then conservatives might take over the board in much the same way that DLCers seem to have.
SnohoDem
(1,036 posts)Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)The reference is to a skit on the old Carol Burnett Show where Conway and Harvey Korman are playing a game of chess, and Conway starts doing all sorts of weird things, like eating Korman's queen.
flvegan
(64,425 posts)At least the pigeon has the right and ability to knock over the pieces and crap on the board.
MattSh
(3,714 posts)that pigeons can't play chess.
Cons are such ultra-maroons!
gtar100
(4,192 posts)MADem
(135,425 posts)Do they play tic-tac-toe with chickens, too?
raccoon
(31,131 posts)Thoreson
(1 post)That they butchered. Google pigeon chess for details as I am extremely busy.
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Kali
(55,031 posts)welcome to DU, I guess
edit to add:
"Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory."
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Pigeon_chess