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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBreaking: Romney To Deliver GOP Convention Speech Via Jumbotron From Remote Location
"I'll never be able to face those people in person", said the candidate.
"They're on to me and now and I just have to lay low til November. This will be awkward", he said.
Romney went on to say, "If the convention is any good, it'll be on youtube. That's the beauty of the net.... I don't actually have to be there."
The candidate's remarks surprised and stunned many in his party as well as members of his own campaign staff.
Said one anonymous source, who spoke on condition of that secret thing where your name is not given, "He's gone off script again, and this is the kind of crap that happens every dang time. It's demoralizing and dehumanizing to be staffing for such a goon, to be quite honest. Please don't repeat that."
Organizers of the convention are considering a large inflatable, Macy's balloon-type figure of Romney to represent the missing presidential candidate at the convention in Tampa, later this summer.
TheCowsCameHome
(40,169 posts)Vox Moi
(546 posts)HR Man: "Well, I see you want to retire. Congratulations! When is your effective date?"
Mitt: "I left three years ago".
HR Man: "Forgive me. My belated congratulations. Well, now; what did you want to see me about?"
Mitt: "I want to retire".
HR Man: "Uh ... didn't you already do that?"
Mitt: "Well, anybody who says I didn't is just spreading lies."
HR Man: "OK then, what can I do for you?"
Mitt: "I want to retire three years ago."
HR Man: "You're retiring again? I do believe there is a company policy against retiring twice."
Mitt: "I'm not here to retire now. I'm only here to retire three years ago."
HR Man: "Where were you three years ago?"
Mitt: "Well, of course I was here."
HR Man: "But you are still here now."
Mitt: "What I mean is that I'm here now and retiring then."
HR Man: "You want too re-apply?"
Mitt: "No, I'm retired."
HR Man: "Then what are you doing here?"
Mitt: "As I said, I want to retire."
HR Man: "I'm afraid that I'll have to ask you have to leave the building. I could call security. Your actions might even be considered a felony."
Mitt: "I own the company."
HR Man: "Why didn't you tell me? "
Mitt: "Because you weren't here before I left. Haven't spent a moment's thinking about leaving since I decided to leave."
HR Man: "When did you decide to leave?"
Mitt: "Just now."
HR Man: "And you own the company now?"
Mitt: "Yes, I own the company now but I'm retiring then. Perhaps it would look better in your annual review if we just finished up here."
HR Man: "OK, OK. I give up. After you retire I will not have worked for you for three years. Since I wasn't at the company back then your opinion on my review for that year I wasn't here won't count. Therefore, I'll sign your retroactive retirement papers under one condition."
Mitt: "
HR Man. "I'll sign your retirement three years ago if you promise not to come back to retire again; not now, not anytime in the future and certainly not anytime before this."
Mitt: "Well, you know that I was too busy with the Olympics to see you then so seeing you before this is simply impossible."
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Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)has outdone himself this time. I can't wrap my mind around how funny this is. It's too bad it isn't getting more attention. Saw a bit about the whole Bain thing on some of the political shows on cable don't even know which channel because I rarely go there. But, they had the usual suspects a conservative type and a liberal type talking about it. The conservative pretended it was no big deal and Bain is still an asset for Romney. The Liberal explained how it was about Romney lying to the SEC and that he couldn't be a resident and not a resident and a CEO and not a CEO all at the same time.
Autumn
(45,120 posts)It should be posted as a stand alone OP.
TlalocW
(15,392 posts)The live feed of him talking to the convention will have him completely in silhouette with his voice digitally altered.
TlalocW
marmar
(77,106 posts)ThoughtCriminal
(14,050 posts)Ta-ta-ta-ta-talking to teabaggers!
flamingdem
(39,333 posts)you've got his character down!