Dear American Junta

[TygrBright]

Dear Generals-

I guess there's a cosmic reason you're there, after all. You have ONE JOB.

Just one: Keep the Nuclear Cheeto from getting us all killed.

I think y'all know that, Sirs.

So just a suggestion, a way to make it easier for you. Simple, really:

Replace the actual nuclear launch control (the "football" ) with a similar size-and-shape satchel full of beepy stuff and blinky lights that don't actually do anything, and one of those red buttons you can buy at Staples.

If/when the Nuclear Cheeto pushes that button, nod solemnly, and tell him how Presidential he is, and then escort him to the nearest super-hardened secure bunker, IMMEDIATELY.

Lock him in.

Lose the key.

For about three years, should do.

ONE JOB, gentlemen.

We're all counting on you.

somberly,
Bright

[Kurovski]

1. That's just about as good a plan as any they seem to be working on.

Fast and efficient, too.

You just might have a job as a political fixer waiting for you, Tygr.

[RestoreAmerica2020]

2. You're a genius, and while your add it, Generals, can you tell the rest of his evil cabal that

... they'll all be safer in the bunker with donthecon, and you'll come get them after the fallout ...not! Maybe bunker can be somewhere in Siberia.

[TygrBright]

3. Sentiment appreciated, but all divine powers forbid...! n/t

[Kurovski]

4. Ethics and what not?

Well okay then.