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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrump Says Mueller Just Called Him and Said Hes the Most Innocent Person Ever
By Andy Borowitz 6:28 P.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)The special counsel, Robert Mueller, just called Donald Trump to tell the President that he was the most innocent person ever, Trump told reporters on Thursday.
It was the middle of the afternoon, and he just picked up the phone to say how innocent I was, Trump said. He said I was the most innocent person hed ever come across, and maybe in history.
He said he had been over all of the evidence and that he and his staff would spend hours just looking at each other in amazement at about how unbelievably innocent I was, he said.
Trump said that he asked Mueller why, in his opinion, the media had reported so many stories about his campaign colluding with Russians. Bob said to me, Are you talking about the failing New York Times and CNN? Trump reported. They have been very unfair to you. They are bad (or sick) people. Sad! Thats what Bob said to me.
The conversation wound down with a series of pleasantries, Trump said, with Mueller complimenting him on the size of his 2016 victory, including his enormous win in New Hampshire.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-mueller-just-called-him-and-said-hes-the-most-innocent-person-ever
mucifer
(23,598 posts)Not even much of a stretch.
Wounded Bear
(58,765 posts)marylandblue
(12,344 posts)He is almost beyond satire.
malaise
(269,256 posts)central scrutinizer
(11,666 posts)Should have tipped you off.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)I can totally imagine him claiming Robert Mueller called and just happens to talk just like Lord of the Lies.
SchrodingersCatbox
(89 posts)"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody Donald Trump in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article"
sheshe2
(84,005 posts)milestogo
(16,829 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,762 posts)Amaryllis
(9,526 posts)Catmusicfan
(816 posts)VermontKevin
(1,473 posts)Gothmog
(145,794 posts)L. Coyote
(51,129 posts)imanamerican63
(13,831 posts)so Donnie won't get any of those phony phone calls!
calimary
(81,565 posts)Actually, though, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if trump tries to pass that off. He just lies and lies and lies - he lies like the rest of us breath.
Downtown Hound
(12,618 posts)was possible. Not that I believed Mueller would do that, but rather that Trump would really say that.
montana_hazeleyes
(3,424 posts)yuiyoshida
(41,869 posts)I wish we had the option to send him off to some third world country for good, but if we did, we would end up in another war again, over sending his ugly ass there, and insulting the judgement of an entire nation!
Amaryllis
(9,526 posts)IronLionZion
(45,615 posts)the world is going crazy
JDC
(10,144 posts)broadcaster90210
(333 posts)Holy hell.
heaven05
(18,124 posts)this BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!! Oh satire...yet believable as reality just because this is something the boy-potus is capable of saying.....great humor though it didn't and still doesn't make me laugh. Just because, in these times, with this fascist cabal running the disjointed states of ameriKKKa, have to have humor like this to keep the anger in balance....
raven mad
(4,940 posts)the Boy Scouts, Mexico's Predident Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Turbull called him on.................
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Sorry for the non-sequitur, but I couldn't stop myself.
Carry on.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)Couldn't have thought of a better epithet for the orangeslug!
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)There is an extremely fine line between trumps truth and satire.
Turbineguy
(37,392 posts)Believe me!