REPUBLICAN HEALTH-CARE PLAN LACKS COVERAGE FOR INJURIES RESULTING FROM BODY SLAMMING

[NastyRiffraff]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The health-care bill passed by House Republicans earlier this month offers no coverage for injuries suffered as a result of body slamming, according to a report issued on Thursday.
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Costs associated with body slamming, such as X-rays to the elbow and other injured body parts, would have to be paid for out of pocket under the G.O.P. plan, the report says.
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Finally, the report finds, the G.O.P. plan offers no preventive treatment for the severely disturbed people who are the root causes of most body-slamming incidents.

“Medical studies have shown that the costs associated with body-slamming injuries could be greatly reduced by putting the people who cause them in a place where they can do no harm to others,” the report says.
Satire from The Borowtiz Report

I made sure to indicate this is satire because it's so hard to tell these days.

[Alice11111]

1. Need coverage for DT ripping your hand off during handshakes

Truly, regarding the satire. When I first saw the DT video , pushing the PM of Montenegro, I thought it was satire and LOL.