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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsOn People of All Ages Eating in Public
I don't know about the rest of you, but I almost never watch anyone eat in public. I've also not noticed anyone watching me when I eat in public. Frankly, watching someone put food in their mouth isn't all that interesting, really.
So, I'm always at a loss when someone complains about an infant eating in public. And yet, that subject always seems to stir up controversy among some people. I can't imagine why.
Normally, eating is not something that stimulates sexual arousal, the eating scene in the movie, Tom Jones, notwithstanding. We all eat food. If we did not, we would not survive long. Most of us eat in public from time to time. We enjoy each others' company at the table.
The bottom line is that human beings are mammals, and are ideally equipped to feed infants naturally, as all mammals do. Whether one believes that humans were somehow created or that they evolved, the fact of the matter is that we are, indeed, mammalian animals. Both men and women have breast tissue and nipples because of that. Women who bear infants have hormones that kick in to provide the ideal food for recently-born human mammals, shortly after birth. Wise women take advantage of that to give their infants a great start on a long, healthy life.
Feeding babies is an essential thing to do. Feeding them when they are hungry is the best practice. If that occurs when a woman is in a public place, why should she not feed her infant? Why would that be of any real interest to anyone else in the area? Just as most people don't watch adults eating in public, most adults don't watch women who are feeding their infants in the natural way mammals feed their young.
In fact, having an interest in peering, or even leering, at a woman engaged in that activity is more than a little disturbing. Men who would do such a thing probably should not be trusted around women and children, in my opinion. While one might notice that a woman is feeding a baby, that should only be a matter of passing interest. It's nothing unusual. It's not any more interesting than watching someone devour a steak in a restaurant. Why would someone take more than a momentary notice of it?
My advice to those who are discombobulated about breast-feeding: Just let the baby eat and go on about your business. If you're offended by the sight of a baby eating, then look in some other direction. In fact, look in some other direction even if you aren't offended. Let the baby eat in peace and move on to some other activity. If you're staring and getting aroused somehow by that natural way of feeding infants, I suggest that you go and consult some sort of professional to find out what's wrong with your head.
And that's my opinion on a Sunday morning. Now, I need to go mow my lawn. If anyone thinks I need to be stared at while doing that, I will gleefully put the handle of the mower in your hands, so you can experience that entertaining activity for yourself.
shraby
(21,946 posts)csziggy
(34,140 posts)Because that offends me and I don't want to watch it. A woman breast feeding in public does not.
Thank you, MM!
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)Food should only be seen before it enters your mouth. Ick!
moriah
(8,311 posts)... they haven't learned that lesson. Instead, they learn how to time it for when you don't have a burp cloth on.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)moriah
(8,311 posts)It was her first so she was still shy and used nursing covers, but it "discombobulated" him (perfect word) so much he couldn't even deal with that. He didn't say anything about it to her, thank goodness, but he couldn't deal so he didn't go.
With her third all her friends know she will whip the mammaries out anytime her son needs fed without even thinking twice. He'd be totally freaked now.
PatrickforO
(14,605 posts)maybe that whole discombobulated thing...
moriah
(8,311 posts)I knew then and there he wasn't ready to parent, for sure.... if covered nursing bothered him, and I planned to do the work necessary to nurse any child I might have... was glad I had access to contraception.
Shrike47
(6,913 posts)Some people are sexually aroused by feet (I have known one). Should we make sandals illegal?
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)on random other people. Period. That's what I think.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)MineralMan
(146,351 posts)Bernardo de La Paz
(49,075 posts)MineralMan
(146,351 posts)their railing against "Sharia Law." I guess they only want that impose on women. Weird folks, to say the least.
Doreen
(11,686 posts)MineralMan
(146,351 posts)of women on false, artificially created moral grounds is common to other cultures and religions than Islam. Utra-conservative Judaism and fundamentalist Christianity often take the same position about women. Hiding women behind veils and excessively modest clothing is common to all religions that seek to impose some false morality on women, in order to subjugate them.
It's always an attempt by men to put women in the background and remove all authority and independence from them. I have always maintained that is fear that causes such reactions. Everyone knows that their very existence depends on women. For some men, that creates a fear of women that is irrational and gets expressed in attempts to minimize women's power.
It's a common, common thing, sadly, that operates individually and culturally all too often.
pangaia
(24,324 posts)For women whom this bothers, what is it, rigid upbringing? Male abuse? False 'Christianity?' Somebody help me here...
Coventina
(27,224 posts)I think it actually is a shock to men (in particular) that there are non-sexual uses for breasts.
I also think you are spot-on about why it bothers some women, it's indirect effect of over-sexualizing breasts.
They are taught that their breasts are "naughty-bits" and should be hidden in public, certainly not used.
pangaia
(24,324 posts)MineralMan
(146,351 posts)Men, in general, need to get over themselves, I think.
keithbvadu2
(37,051 posts)Reference to this DU article?
https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028965454
Josh Moore (R): Im Allowed To Grab Breastfeeders Nipples If They Use Them In Public
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2015/12/31/this-facebook-comment-about-indecent-exposure-brought-a-nh-lawmaker-backlash
PoindexterOglethorpe
(25,930 posts)and didn't use a cover-up. Every so often I'd catch some man staring at me, and I'd either stare back or ignore him.
And anyone who somehow cannot look in another direction if he's bothered by a baby nursing in public has the bigger problem.
planetc
(7,857 posts)if you don't feed your baby, it's likely to yell its head off, thus causing aural discomfort to anyone in the neighborhood. If this is correct, then breast feeding, especially in public, is a public service.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)It's up to a parent to figure out what the baby needs and to provide that. Feeding a baby is the most natural thing there is.
crazycatlady
(4,492 posts)Example-- videos of a mama cat nursing her kittens are all over YouTube and they're known as cute.
It is natural behavior.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)Human beings are animals, despite the overwhelming evidence. It may be a religious thing, but that has always seemed a ridiculous belief to me.
Doreen
(11,686 posts)women breast feeding in public are the first ones to complain when a baby starts screaming because it is hungry. Go figure.
MrModerate
(9,753 posts)MineralMan
(146,351 posts)However, that only applies as long is what is happening causes no real harm. If harm is being done by one person to another, then minding your own business is the wrong thing to do. That is the time for interference, in whatever way will be the most prudent and effective. However a baby eating is causing any harm whatever, and truly is nobody's business beyond the baby and mother.
JenniferJuniper
(4,516 posts)makes you want to sexually assault it's mother, then don't look. And then get yourself some help.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)LeftInTX
(25,812 posts)This is nothing but a WTF.
Even for an R, it is really low
George II
(67,782 posts)...about a half hour ago) as they drive by, especially when women slow down to check me out!
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)and for the first time this year, as well. Now that I've done it, and I was the first on the block this year, I hear lawnmowers running elsewhere on the block. I didn't notice anyone watching me, though. I was trying to avoid mowing over debris that has found its way onto my lawn. I succeeded, mostly, except for a golf ball that went flying almost all the way across the street as I mowed over it.
I suspect my neighbor, who golfs from time to time, chipped it into my yard last fall. Fortunately, it didn't hit anything.
Srkdqltr
(6,386 posts)I have never understood why some are offended. It is a problem for them only.
Orrex
(63,291 posts)I noted on FB that thousands upon thousands were happily staring up a giraffe's vagina, but people still freak out at the site of a nursing mother.
I got a few dozen reactions, all of them positive, and all but two from women. Men were curiously silent, reaction-wise.
Another two guys helpfully posted to explain the difference to me, mansplaining in the grand "Well, actually" tradition.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)People are weird, overall. In different ways, of course, as individuals, but weird, nevertheless.
PatrickforO
(14,605 posts)three daughters and two granddaughters, I concur. In fact, I strongly support women:
1. Having complete control over if, when and under what circumstances they will bear children.
2. Having a medical system that values them as women as much as it values me, a man.
3. Having an economy that treats the contributions of women equally in terms of pay, opportunity and benefits.
4. Having a society that values women as much as it values men.
Right now we don't, but if we all work together, we can make this happen.
But we've got to get the p**sy grabber out of the White House, and that joke of a state legislator who wants to pinch nipples of women breastfeeding in public out of office. Those people do NOT represent us. Not at all.
MineralMan
(146,351 posts)I cannot understand anyone who does not understand that.
crazycatlady
(4,492 posts)Having a criminal justice system that allows women to come forward (especially for cases of sexual assault) without consequences to their own reputation or their motives questioned (ie "why were you wearing that dress?"
bekkilyn
(454 posts)and yet they would rather see a baby starve to death than be able to get care and nourishment whenever they need it. And if they don't want to see it, *they* can go eat in the bathroom and then they won't have to. Perverts.
joanbarnes
(1,724 posts)CousinIT
(9,275 posts)vanlassie
(5,695 posts)is the interesting phenomenon of young adults in some small role of authority (waiter or waitress, life guard, salesclerk...) informing a nursing mother that she is not allowed to do that there. These incidents ALWAYS end up with the organization apologizing to the mother, of course. But I see it as a perceived opportunity to bully. Not restricted to young people, mind you. But it seems as though a nursing mother "reads" to a potential bully as "weak."
Fortunately we are in a moment when women are saying "enough."