The Top 10 Reasons Donald Trump Is Refusing to Throw Out the First Pitch of Baseball Season

[Heartstrings]

These are the top 10 reasons Donald Trump is refusing to throw out the first pitch of the Nationals' baseball season.

10. Gesture would implicitly condone actions of Cuban players who helped Ted Cruz's dad shoot President Kennedy in the head

9. Hands too small, can't grab ball

8. Unclear where ball should be grabbed anyway given that it doesn't have a (fill in the blank)

7. Players are too old and too male to make for good locker-room sleazeball creeping

6. Upset that Obama beat out Mike Trout for ISIS MVP award despite worse advanced stats

5. Disappointed when someone told him there are no Trump University alums playing in the game because Trump University didn't have a baseball team and was, in fact, a high-pressure sales scam rather than a real institution of higher learning

4. Presence of actual, complete, non-imaginary wall in outfield makes him jealous

3. Can't sleep because he keeps seeing this on the inside of his eyelids every time he tries to get even a moment's peace. By God, her visage haunts his very dreams

2. Would probably be booed mercilessly given that he has an extremely low approval rating and would be appearing in a city in which he only got four percent of the vote anyway

1. Still upset about 1947 integration of the major leagues

Thanks for reading! Number two is probably the real reason. Also number one.

[Norbert9]

1. Number 1 reason is him being booed, 2-10 are all because he's too fat

[SammyWinstonJack]

4. Heh.

[MgtPA]

2. Because he'll look like this:

[Heartstrings]

5. Oh geez....

I wish I could unsee this....

[LakeArenal]

17. Baby's got back...

[dalton99a]

19. +1

[mindfulNJ]

25. Ha...I was just coming in here to post that pic

This is definitely the "biggest" reason you won't see that orange blob on the mound.

[montana_hazeleyes]

34. "Do I look fat in these pants?"

[C_U_L8R]

3. Merciless booing.

Trump knows very well where his public poll numbers are and his precious vanity doesn't want that disdain and ridicule captured on video. He'll stick to his private invite-only audiences of adoring toadies.

[Cha]

11. Hahaa.. he doesn't get to throw a baseball 'cause he's

so damn unpopular.



Donald Trump refuses to prove to America that he can throw a baseball better than Barack Obama

http://www.salon.com/2017/03/28/donald-trump-refuses-to-prove-to-america-that-he-can-throw-a-baseball-better-than-barack-obama/

[peacebuzzard]

15. First time viewing this image! Thanks, made my day!

[Cha]

35. You're welcome, peacebuzzard!

[dalton99a]

20. +1

[FailureToCommunicate]

29. That dude looks sinister.

[Cha]

36. lol

[Siwsan]

6. Didn't he brag about being the 'best' college baseball player, in the entire country??

You know, back when he was too medically disabled to be included in the military draft.

[Cha]

9. What a fall.. now he's the worst

rigged in potus in the history of the Universe.

[SticksnStones]

7. Re. Item number 8...'Unclear as to where the ball should be grabbed...'

I believe he grabs pussies, not balls.

So there's that ~

[Cha]

8. I didn't know he was.. what decided the MF to show

mercy on baseball.. our all American pastime?

And brainwashed trump/baseball fans take offense to this?

[dembotoz]

10. Doesn't want to be there when ice raids both dugouts

[Donkees]

12. He thinks Christie is playing

[Cha]

13. Here's the link to your OP..

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/03/28/why_donald_trump_isn_t_throwing_out_the_first_pitch_at_the_nationals_season.html

Thank you for posting, Heartstrings

[mzteaze]

14. Because

He wanted a percentage of the ticket sales for that day and they weren't interested.

[Initech]

16. Because he's so out of shape he'll throw like this?

[lpbk2713]

18. Teams wouldn't meet his pay demands.

"Hey, I'm a fricking celebrity here. Ya gotta pay me big time."

[IronLionZion]

21. Because he might try to deport the Latino players

Dude probably can't throw a baseball. And I think I read somewhere that he played baseball in college or high school.

[certainot]

22. 11 - because they don't do baseball at the kremlin

[Chiyo-chichi]

23. Sean Spicer's Top 10 Reasons that Donald Trump is Not Throwing Out the First Pitch

10. “The president is such a good pitcher, he doesn’t want to embarrass Max Scherzer, who, I’m told, is also a pitcher.”

9. “He IS going to throw out the first pitch. Nobody ever said he wasn’t. #FakeNews.”

8. “I… uh… the thing is…. April… April… April… Stop shaking your head.”

7. “He already did it… and it was witnessed by more people in person and on the internet that any other pitch in the history of mankind. Okay? Everybody clear now?”

6. “Baseball is not that big in Russia.”

5. “He just doesn’t want to do it for the ‘Nationals.’ He’s waiting for an invitation from the ‘Universals,’ as befits his status.”

4. “I already called dibs on throwing out the first pitch in my Easter Bunny suit.”

3. “n9y25ah7.”

2. “The Washington Nationals used to be the Montreal Expos. Throwing out the first pitch would go against everything the president believes about border security.”

1. “He thought he was asked to ‘throw out the RICH,’ which, of course, he would never do.”

[Auggie]

24. Wonderful, Heartstrings

[sellitman]

26. Ever see a baseball ricochet around a prison cell? N/T

[Takket]

27. They would boo him off the field

And his handlers make sure his previous ego is protected at all times by insulating him from reality.

[Blue_Tires]

28. 1. Ragarm, 2. Boos

[SunSeeker]

30. No, it's because when he throws a baseball he looks like this:

[mountain grammy]

31. Yeah, 1 and 2 are the biggies here.

[lastlib]

32. He's already thrown out his First Bit--oh, PITCH!

Maybe he thought we were talking about Ivana........

[MiniMe]

33. Because he can't throw the ball the 60 feet to get it from the mound to home plate!

[Metsie Casey]

38. Because they won't bring back the orange baseball

[link:40th anniversary: The orange baseball experiment – The Hardball Times http://www.hardballtimes.com/tht-live/40th-anniversary-the-orange-baseball-experiment/ (Share from CM Browser)|