General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsToday, 11/17, I have been "gay married" for two years.
Last edited Thu Nov 17, 2016, 02:14 PM - Edit history (1)
Most people simply refer to this day, in regards to my situation, as an anniversary. It is. Two years. What makes mine so different from so many is mine was only made legal in my state two years ago (October 2014), and nationally in June of 2015. Last Wednesday, I was in tears because I didn't know if my, then upcoming, anniversary would be my last legal one. Sure, the love for my husband isn't based on a piece of paper, but that "piece of paper" makes a shit-ton of things possible for us both. There have been tons of discussions about this group or that one, but few have taken a hard look at the challenges the GLBT community is possibly facing with this new administration. Sure, the president elect has said marriage equality (and that is what it should be[/I called) is "settled". Yet, this is the same person who said in the third debate he would appoint a Supreme Court Justice with a "conservative bent" and wants to see Roe v. Wade overturned. Isn't "RvW" also "settled"? Not to mention his VP is a rancid, rabid, homophobic heterosexist POS and the platform for the party was the most homophobic it has ever been. The president-elect has also said he will "undo" all of President Obama's executive orders, a few which specifically protect LGBT people!
This election will have ramifications for many groups, including those of us who are GLBT. "Undoing" our marriages could lead to a host of other issues: will we have to repay tax refunds? will purchases made as a married couple be "null and void" in regards to who owns what? will children revert to having only one "real" parent?
I am thinking about what my mom says, "expect the worst, hope for the best, and you won't be surprised." The "worst" is pretty fucking bad. Will it happen right away? Of course not. However, the possibility is all too real.
Anyway, that is how I am feeling on my second legal anniversary, but I am not going to let it stop from expressing my love for my husband by making his favorite meal, mustard peppercorn rib roast, and leaving cards all over the house. But I cannot ignore the reality a part of my heart is darkened and sad. Still, I will hold him tight and remember, no matter what may come, he is the love of my life and I am richer for having him in it.
ETA: to all the "congrats" posts. Turns out my husband and I have "gay anniversary" buddies...DU's own, beaglelover! Spread the love to post #15!
Skittles
(153,113 posts)we will continue to fight, Behind the Aegis - these fascist bastards will lose in the end; yes INDEED
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)Yes, we must all be vigilant, because even if it isn't GLBT rights/lives on the line, there is certainly some group who rights/lives will be, and it will take all of us, united, to defeat the upcoming tsunami of hate.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)I do remember your happy post about your wedding from two years ago.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)Yeah, I freaked out a few people with the way I announced it.
etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)Under normal (or sane circumstances) I would say that marriage equality could not be "undone" ... these aren't normal circumstances.
I am still holding out hope that the damage done to our country is minimal and I pray the damage done to your marriage is nonexistant
apcalc
(4,462 posts)I will fight alongside you all the way.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)Like you, I am hoping the damage is minimal, and none to our marriage, but I am trying to prepare for what might be, but I will continue to live for and in the moment.
So many groups are frightened now and it will take all of us, as a collective, to protect the rights of those in need.
sheshe2
(83,655 posts)callous taoboy
(4,584 posts)and many more.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)Hoping for many, many more!
shenmue
(38,506 posts)Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)(Thank you!)
Solly Mack
(90,758 posts)I wish that love was enough to protect you both.
I only know you online and I have never spoken with your husband, so while it might seem strange for me to say that I love you both - please know that I do.
You're not alone.
I am horrified by the continued and escalating hate in America. I am disgusted by the willingness of those who seek to normalize Trump and everything he represents. It goes against all things decent that some people have been waiting for this moment to destroy so many lives.
I am numb in the mind that some people can't see, even now, how important it is to not hide behind their own safe status, but to step outside their own comfort zone and defend against hate. That it has always been the case escapes many - but maybe now some will wake up. I don't know. People can be fearful, hate-filled monsters. But I'll keep pushing for something better.
I wish I could make it so - right this very minute - that you never have to feel this fear again.
I'm so sorry.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)Like you, I am so concerned with the direction our country may take/has taken. While my own rights/life are on the line, I also know others are facing similar battles, and you are correct, we must stand together! The straight person standing with the GLB! The cis-gender standing with the trans gender! The white person standing with people of color! The Christian standing with other religions and the atheists! Men standing with women! And, the disenfranchised standing with other disenfranchised!
Thank you for taking the time to let us know we are loved and acknowledge our special day. It means the world to me!
Buckeye_Democrat
(14,852 posts)I would think a President Pence would be more of a threat in that way, but it doesn't help that Republicans pretty much have all corners of government secured at the moment.
Try to be thankful for having a close love in your life. I haven't even kissed a woman in 15 years.
If I could be gay, I might be better off considering how gay men have seemed more interested in me over the years.
cate94
(2,810 posts)Thank you for expressing this so well.. I have been feeling so deeply saddened and frightened since this election. What your mom says is the best advice I've heard for these trying times.
Lithos
(26,403 posts)logosoco
(3,208 posts)In times like these, it is easy to forget that love does always win! But it does (sometimes it just takes a while and has to go through unnecessary battles).
Ligyron
(7,616 posts)Long life and happiness to you both!!
LWolf
(46,179 posts)stand with you and your husband and everyone else who needs support, including my transgender family member, to hold the line for your rights.
Demsrule86
(68,471 posts)Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)beaglelover
(3,460 posts)11/17/2014! A great day for gay marriage!!!
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)I am updating my OP so others know I have a "gay marriage" buddy!!!
I wish you all the happiness I want for us. May we both have many, many more "gay anniversaries"!
herding cats
(19,558 posts)It was a beautiful day for so many!
COLGATE4
(14,732 posts)You are just plain MARRIED. Pure and simple.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)I actually don't like the term "gay marriage", but I used it this time more as a rhetorical device and to emphasize the danger a certain group, GLBT people, are facing in regards to equality.
Thanks for the good wishes.
spanone
(135,795 posts)Aristus
(66,294 posts)So instead of proposing legislation specifically designed to hurt people, I just married a member of the opposite sex. Everybody went home happy.
Congratulations on 2 years.
Behind the Aegis
(53,921 posts)That was funny.
Thanks for the congrats and the laugh!
Greybnk48
(10,162 posts)I, and my entire family wish you joy, happiness and a fun life together! We have your back should events warrant it. We will not go backward on human rights.
tenderfoot
(8,425 posts)sheshe2
(83,655 posts)I wish you both many long years of love and happiness.
to you both~
LostOne4Ever
(9,286 posts)[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=#009999]I am not going to say there is no reason to be worried; but I will say that you will have allies who will fight tooth and nail to protect your marriage and that of all other same sex couples!
My best wishes to you and your husband![/font]
herding cats
(19,558 posts)My heat is so happy for you both!!
I remember when you posted about your pending nuptials and I told you my dear friends were being married two days later themselves! It was such a joyous time for so very many of us.
P.S. Thank you for reminding me to get them a nice bottle of wine and a card!
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)..as to the rest of it. Yeah, Pence is about as atrocious as they come on pretty much every Far Right social issue retrograde-ass position.
And the media was so enamored with the whole EXCITING! HORSE! RACE! OHMIGOD! aspect of the election, the fact that he is wildly out of tune with most Americans on pretty much everything got almost zero coverage.
ismnotwasm
(41,967 posts)A spot of incredible beauty in the midst to a bleak landscape--thank you for sharing this.