New Hillary Clinton ad features just kittens

[PeaceNikki]

BROOKLYN (The Borowitz Report)—Hillary Clinton has followed up the official announcement of her candidacy with a new campaign ad featuring nothing but kittens.


The sixty-second spot stars an assortment of kittens—tabbies, calicoes, Siamese, and a dozen other breeds—in a variety of adorable vignettes.

At various points in the advertisement, the kittens are shown playing in a sock drawer, tangled up in yarn, and chasing a duckling.

Clinton herself appears only in the final seconds of the ad, saying merely, “Hi. I’m Hillary.”

The commercial immediately drew the wrath of the Republican National Committee chairman, Reince Priebus, who called it “woefully short on substance.”

“There’s no mention of what Hillary Clinton would do to grow our struggling economy, fix the disaster of Obamacare, or repair our damaged reputation abroad,” a visibly furious Priebus told Fox News. “It’s just cats.”

In defense of the ad, the Clinton campaign issued the following statement: “America loves kittens. Loving kittens makes America strong. Hillary is ready for kittens. Kittens are ready for Hillary. Meow meow meow meow.”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/new-hillary-clinton-ad-features-just-kittens

[GusBob]

1. Spurring outrage from dog lovers across the nation

I mean, the nerve!!

[zappaman]

2. Oh thank God!

But are those kittens just props?
Why is Hillary Clinton ok with using kittens as props?
After the shoot, I bet they were put to sleep!
Why does Hillary Clinton hate America?

[PeaceNikki]

3. I think they are looking TO THE RIGHT.

Clearly a subliminal message.

[Rex]

8. Good catch! From the kittens POV they are clearly looking to the right!

End Times! End Times are here!

[underpants]

9. They look to me to be members of the entitlement class

Who have willfully submitted themselves as slaves to the Nanny-state.

She clearly doesn't believe in American kitty exceptionalism. Those go-getters don't say "meow" they say "Me How?!?!"



Meow meow meow

[PeaceNikki]

10. Yeah, I see them flipping the bird to birds.

[Unknown Beatle]

74. No, those kittens are saying

Mao, as in Chairman Mao. Hillary is a communist.

Mao Mao Mao.

[underpants]

76. :-)

[Liberal_in_LA]

43. lol

[Warren DeMontague]

45. They represent the Koch bros.

The kittens names are Charles and David.

[PeaceNikki]

48. hmmm

[leftofcool]

4. Those are Benghazi kittens!

[underpants]

21. Can't deny it

She clearly issued a "stand down" order to them

[Capt. Obvious]

5. How does she feel about chicken? How about liver?

[Cali_Democrat]

6. LULZ. nt

[HereSince1628]

7. Clearly a threat to voters who love mice and balls of yarn!!!!!!!!

[PeaceNikki]

11. and dogs. and THINGS in general!

[HereSince1628]

12. Apparently, all those who don't believe in Gravity.

[spooky3]

77. Hahaha!

[herding cats]

13. Hillary is anti-duckling!

I knew it! She just lost the vote of every farmer who has ducks. Stupid, stupid, stupid move on her campaigns part. And this is supposed to be the best campaign money can buy?!

This shit has got to stop!

[Zorra]

14. It's clearly a totally furrist, caniphobic ad. Where are the puppies?!? nt

[PeaceNikki]

16. getting the smack laid down on 'em is where

[freshwest]

30. I approve of this post!

[PeaceNikki]

31. .

[freshwest]

47. The mellow one listening to music on earphones:

[Arugula Latte]

41. As do I!

[PeaceNikki]

49. I freaking love the Roomba cat

[freshwest]

50. Awesome kittehs! Thanks! n/t

[FSogol]

15. "Meow meow meow meow"

That's the appropriate response for everything Reince Priebus says.

[PeaceNikki]

17. It's true.

[freshwest]

32. Other appropriate responses:

For McCain:



And Boehner:

[PeaceNikki]

39. lol.

Gosh BO looks so young in that first pic!!

[freshwest]

52. Tough job!

[freshwest]

57. I'd like to have a rule that every OP citing McCain use that pic, so we can laugh at every word! n/t

[PeaceNikki]

63. Or do like Wonkette and only refer to him as "Walnuts"

[freshwest]

66. Love the Wonkette. Gotta find that Walnut reference... n/t

[PeaceNikki]

70. They've been doing it for so long that I've forgotten the original reference.

Other than: he's a dangerous old nut.

[brooklynite]

18. Were they professional kittens?

They were probably just hired for the ad...

[bvar22]

73. ...and paid non-UNION kitty wages.

The Nerve.

[William769]

19. Perfect!

[freshwest]

58. That's PURRfect to you, pal! n/t

[William769]

60. LOL.

You got me.

[asiliveandbreathe]

72. Exactly - for those of you who

have the technology - can we inundate rinse with lolcats???? -

[freshwest]

20. 'Meow meow meow meow.' LOL! What's sad is anyone saying the first video had no substance,

When they should admit that the people in the first video really are average Americans! They're not moochers or people angling for 'special treatment' and that BS!

[PeaceNikki]

22. Civil disobedience cat will not be moved

Sorry, I am in a "cats being jerks" internet rabbithole. You're totally correct.


Meow.

[treestar]

69. LOL

A cat being a jerk!

[Starry Messenger]

23. I'll bet they're female kittens.

Gender card!

[PeaceNikki]

26. I think they're inbred

[LittleBlue]

68. OMG <3

Kitty threads are a cure for the Mondays

[leftofcool]

42. DUZY Award!

[Scuba]

24. Is she trying to throw the election already?

[riversedge]

25. Hillary to Reecey pee-->Meow meow meow meow.”

[Lochloosa]

27. There is a huge problem with this add...just look what the cats are wearing...

?zz=1

[Scurrilous]

28. ROFL W/Kitties

[yardwork]

29. These threads today are making me lol.

For those squawking that Hillary's ad has no substance, please contrast with Rand Paul's first day post-announcement.

[Hekate]

33. Oh gods, what did he do now? Did his toupee clamp its claws into his ears?

lol

[yardwork]

34. He got into fights with female journalists.

Stomped off the interview with one, I believe. Complete loser performance.

P.S. Don't make fun of that toupee. It's from Donald Trump's toupee's litter.

[freshwest]

36. Uh, I can't look. What did Ron's spawn have to say? 'Vote for me or else!'? n/t

[SidDithers]

35. Wow. The Borowitz version or Rince Priebus...

sounds just like some DUers.



Sid

[valerief]

37. Bwahaha! Rand Paul has one planned, too. It'll just feature guns, nothing but

Libertarian guns. Or will they be LibertARYAN guns?

[freshwest]

53. I'll go with the latter!

So many dog whistles, yet Rand Paul (R-Weasel) denies he was for what they said.

[onehandle]

80. 'LibertARYAN'

I am totally stealing that.

[valerief]

81. Please do!

[gregcrawford]

38. WARNING!!!

Even a small amount of squee is toxic to conservatives. It can cause very painful and REALLY smelly Limbaugh-shaped boils, especially around the nether orifice from which they pull all of their "facts."

[Behind the Aegis]

40. Of course she avoided the real issues. Where does she stand on catnip?!

Oh course the naysayers are already out in force:

[Arugula Latte]

44. She also rolled out a new slogan: "I Can Haz Prezidensee?"

[PeaceNikki]

46. lol

[Ilsa]

51. Even better: puppies and kittens!

Who hates puppies?

[brooklynite]

56. But that would show she can't make a choice..she's a flip-flopper

[Jackpine Radical]

61. Dogs are generous, loyal servants who maybe safely ignored.

Sorta like union workers that way.

[yallerdawg]

54. Obviously pandering to an element of DU.

Hope she will fund NSF/NIH research into deep-brain parasitical mind-control.

We have to find a cure!

[freshwest]

62. Don't make me tell you the whole story... n/t

[brooklynite]

55. But with TPP, we won't be able to BUY yarn and socks...

[freshwest]

65. I don't see why not, we have plenty of sheep and angora goats, and union made socks! n/t

[KamaAina]

59. So I guess my old boss the "Little Dunce" will be voting (R)

Our quality control person had four kittehs , one of whom was both a tabby and a calico (patches of gray stripes where black ones would normally be). So I'm trying to describe Merri to the Dunce, and he asks "What's a calico?" Well, all right, I thought, he did go to prep school in England, so maybe he thinks it's a tortoiseshell.

"What's a tabby?"

Nope. Dunce.

[JDPriestly]

64. K&R.

[treestar]

67. if people would just stop and appreciate kittens

they could quit doing all these evil things they do!

[asiliveandbreathe]

71. Well, Hillary got Rinse to respond

in the most weird way...rinse has his undies in a bunch...are you kidding me...kittens are so cute rinse....meow meow meow in deed...

[libdem4life]

75. There ya go. Dogs drool. Cats rule. n/t

[eridani]

78. Kittens would be a great lead-in for some populist rabblerousing

Let's see if she does it.

[PeaceNikki]

79. Yes, it would be grand if her campaign actually did one.

[qwlauren35]

82. There is so much bias in this ad.

Not only is it exclusionary, it also signals a hawkish position. Fish, mice and birds should be very concerned about this ad. Especially mice. Very much a misunderstood and often despised species.