Christian minister claims her gift of prophecy allows her to predict movie plots

[zappaman]

Appearing on God Knows with hosts Cindy and Mike Jacobs, Christian minister Rebecca Greenwood explained that she first became aware of her gift of prophecy when she discovered she had the ability to predict what was going to happen in movies.

-snip-
Greenwood then went on to describe becoming aware of her prophetic powers, explaining that, not only did she predict that killer bees would be coming to the U.S. from Africa, but that when she went to the movies with her husband she could predict what was going to happen next.

“And I’m really good at going to movies. And I didn’t know why. And lots of times, we could be sitting, watching a movie, and I’d look at Greg even before I understood I was a prophet, and I’m like, ‘This is gonna happen. This is gonna happen. This is gonna be the outcome,” she explained. “And lots of times, he would tell me, ‘Don’t tell me what’s gonna happen at the movie. If you understand before it’s happening, I don’t wanna know before it happens’.”

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/03/christian-minister-claims-her-gift-of-prophecy-allows-her-to-predict-movie-plots/

Jesus talks to me as well!!!

[notadmblnd]

1. Damn, I've been predicting what would happen in movies for decades.

In fact I often feel I could write the scripts. Silly minister, so damn full of herself. It takes no special gift to predict what will happen in a freaking movie.

SMH

[zappaman]

2. Very humble of you.

But you can admit Jesus has been telling you movie plots all along.
No shaming here...

[notadmblnd]

9. yeah, me an Jesus sit down often to discuss movie plots

Typical evening involves him dropping in, rolling a blunt or two, cracking open a couple of beers and going over future movie scripts.

Damn blunts though, I keep telling Jesus that I prefer old fashioned ZigZags when imbibing in a little herbal refreshment. Can't seem to make him understand that tobacco wraps tend to ruin the taste of some good Kush. I think he's just worried that he get caught driving with the stuff.

[jmowreader]

24. Can't you buy Jesus a bong or something?

I can kinda understand blunts, but seriously kids, if the weed you get is so bad you need to roll it in a Phillies Blunt wrapper to get it down, you need to change dope dealers.

[zappaman]

27. Agreed.

No reason to turn Jesus's lungs black.
That's what Satan is for!

[Shrike47]

5. You predicted Fargo? I'm impressed.

[underpants]

8. And "Hoosiers"?

I mean who saw THAT coming

[notadmblnd]

10. Yeah, but my real gift is in predicting horror flicks.

[elehhhhna]

11. jesus has a movieplot Hotline to my personal husband fersure

[Shrike47]

3. I'm able to predict the plots of many scripted TV shows. This has nothing to do with experience.

I'm just gifted, I guess. Probably psychic. Nothing to do with familiarity with the genre and show.

[zappaman]

6. Or you have a direct line to Jesus

who is well known for spoiling movies and shows...

[Hassin Bin Sober]

41. Jesus speaks to me about the show Law and Order.

At 40 minutes past the hour, they will be in court. So it is written so it shall be done.

[pinboy3niner]

4. Out of habit, all of her prophecies carry a warning: "Spoiler alert!"

And an advertisement for popcorn and candy in the lobby.

[underpants]

7. Nun of that is her habit

[Cal Carpenter]

12. Not satire

[Eleanors38]

13. What? The bad guy got it in the end? Why, I never...

[Archae]

14. I've seen this woman's "prophesies."

She's really good at predicting natural and un-natural disasters.

AFTER they happen.

Her "prophesies" are like the ones in supermarket tabloids.
Really vague. "A beloved actor will get sick, and maybe die."

Or really obvious. "There will be trouble in the Middle East."

Every time, and I do mean EVERY time these people make a specific "prophesy," it comes out dead wrong.

Remember Hal Lindsey (currently wrting at WND) and his book "The Late Great Planet Earth?"

We were supposed to have a nuclear war with the Soviet Union and Red China, 30 years ago.

Gee, what happened?

[zappaman]

16. Hal Lindsey is still around?

I remember his book was a big deal when I was a kid!
Does he still pump out predictions?

[Archae]

22. Don't know about predictions, but he still writes at WND.

The usual fundy bullshit.

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/search/node/hal%20lindsey

[Kelvin Mace]

42. He wrote his great

prophecy about the imminent demise of the planet within 20 years in 1970.

[zappaman]

43. The late great planet earth!

I think my parents had a copy...

[Kelvin Mace]

45. According to him

we should all be dead now, so I don't know what happened.

[tanyev]

15. That is a gift.

I know I'm always stunned when I go to a romantic comedy and the attractive man and attractive woman whose lives we have been following end up falling in love with each other. And it keeps happening over and over! What are the odds?

[zappaman]

18. You are blessed. n/t

[Nye Bevan]

20. Especially when earlier in the movie they did not get along very well,

and each had other potential romantic partners.

[world wide wally]

17. Let me guess...

She lives in Indiana?

[Nye Bevan]

19. No way would she have been able to predict "Rocky 4" or "Lethal Weapon 3" (nt)

[pinboy3niner]

21. And there's no way she predicted what Romy and Michelle invented

[Orrex]

23. I predicted that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would suck a full year in advance

I'm also on record predicting that the eventual Beetlejuice 2 will suck, and I further predict that Burton's acolytes will insist that it's a work of sublime genius.

[zappaman]

25. Did Jesus tell you that hiding in a fridge

Could protect you from a nuclear blast?

[Orrex]

31. No room.

That's where I keep my starfish.

[zappaman]

44. Yes, but Jesus can time travel...just like radiation. n/t

[Orrex]

49. My God! It's full of starfish!

[brooklynite]

26. So does reading IMDB.com...

[zappaman]

29. And who do you think created imdb?

Check and....mate.

[A HERETIC I AM]

28. Yanno....of all the thngs to be able to predict......

I'm betting she really thinks she got the short end of the "prophesy" stick, there.

"Waddya mean MOVIE PLOTS? You couldn't have given me...oh...I don't know.....Stock Market closing prices 6 months in advance? The ability to see where a fatal car accident would happen? POWERBALL NUMBERS? NOOOOOO...I get Movie Plots. Might as well have given me Dust Bunny locating, for crying out loud."

[Scootaloo]

30. Killer Bees came to the US from Mexico

After being developed in Brazil.

[leftofcool]

32. I predict Fast and Furious #13 will end in a car crash!

Jesus told me so.

[zappaman]

34. Well, #7 isn't even out yet.

So Jesus gave you a bonus by predicting there would be six more sequels.
You must be a favorite!

[leftofcool]

53. LOL!

[AngryAmish]

33. My college roommate always claimed he could figure who did it on Magnum PI

Magnum was not heavily plotted. Cool car, tho.

[zappaman]

35. I was always able to figure it out on Columbo. N/t

[AngryAmish]

37. hahaha

[Vinca]

36. I'm betting she reads the book first.

[zappaman]

38. Not sure about that.

Satan could always switch up the ending like he did with THE SHINING...

[hifiguy]

39. So, she's read TV Tropes?

[Saboburns]

40. And another thing. Bad guys in movies can't shoot for shit.

None of them; Injuns, Nazis, Aliens, what have you.

[hrmjustin]

46. I could have used her tonight.

I watched Into the Storm tonight and it sucked!

[zappaman]

47. Whoa!

I just am right now 20 minutes into it and already hate it.
That's why I jumped on the iPad.
Now that you have confirmed it sucks, I'm gonna head to bed!

[hrmjustin]

50. Boring movie. I was rooting against them by the end.

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. Right?

When they were in the tree, I was like, "CRAP!" It was boring and also super annoying.

[hrmjustin]

57. Waste of 90 minutes.

[pinboy3niner]

48. OMG, what a coincidence!

[drray23]

51. that is ridiculous.

Most movies are so scripted that it is pretty easy to predict what is going to happen. I do that all the time and I definitely am not infused with divine inspiration.

[d_r]

52. I see dead people

[Kalidurga]

54. Ima prophet too

I can do the same thing, but only if I take my Jesus Toast with me.

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. I seriously thought the link was going to be for the Onion.