General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhy are people so mean to each other online?
It used to be the case that people got their gossip over the garden fence or from a bit of curtain twitching. But now we have the internet and the nature of chat has changed forever.
They way we communicate online jumped back into the headlines last week when Monica Lewinsky, famous for her love affair with President Clinton, spoke at the Ted (Technology, Entertainment and Design) conference in Vancouver.
Describing herself as one of the first victims of cyber-gossip, she said that it had taken her over a decade to get over it. Now back in the public eye, she called for a more compassionate internet.
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-31749753?ocid=socialflow_facebook
TheCowsCameHome
(40,168 posts)They create quite a shield.
A HERETIC I AM
(24,367 posts)WELL....SHIT.
Takket
(21,563 posts)A dangerous combination. Why do you think the KKK wears hoods?
I believe it to be the combination of factors, not simply just one or the other. There is a tremendous amount of anger in this world, just commuting to work each day one can see it in other drivers, that anger and the ability to be anonymous makes it easy to let it out online and that is a shame as real people get hurt in that event.
arcane1
(38,613 posts)Now that idiot has a whole world of other idiots to connect with and get support from.
rock
(13,218 posts)Oh no, that couldn't be the case. Because they ashamed of who they are! Yep. That sounds right.
virgogal
(10,178 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)Also, I strongly urge people to watch Lewinsky's speech. It was quite good.
lpbk2713
(42,754 posts)One can make a statement as snarky and obnoxious as they
please and never even come back to view the replies.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Name calling and viciousness every day in GD.
People seem unable to disagree without being disagreeable.
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)and that is certainly sad.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Over and over again.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)Anonymity is key across the internet and there's lots of that here too; but there is also the presumption of bad faith. Many people here when they see an opinion they don't agree with, conclude that the person with that opinion is a bad person. I don't know why that is; logic would dictate that most of us probably do agree on most issues.
Or to put it another way, you take any two regular DUers and give them 20 issues, I'd wager that on at lest 15 issues they will come down on the same side; but for some reason those one or two issues that they disagree on outweigh all of the ones they do agree on.
Bryant
jeff47
(26,549 posts)A lot of our positions arise from rational thought. Those are easy to defend. But sometimes our positions come down to emotion and personal quirks.
It's hard to come up with a coherent argument when your position comes from something like "I'm afraid of ______".
But it's easy to claim your "opponent" is in the pocket of big _____, so you don't have to.
Wella
(1,827 posts)Wish I could rec your post.
arcane1
(38,613 posts)Gidney N Cloyd
(19,833 posts)People who probably couldn't find their own ass with both hands, a map, and a flashlight love to tell you just what's wrong with your web site.
DemocratSinceBirth
(99,710 posts)It's really not complex.
LuvNewcastle
(16,844 posts)Online trolls are cowards. They know they won't have to face any consequences for being assholes, so they take out their frustrations on people they don't even know.
DemocratSinceBirth
(99,710 posts)However that is always a live possibility.
reflection
(6,286 posts)olddots
(10,237 posts)being mean on line is a paradox that makes no sense as it makes sense .Like making crank phone calls to get attention , in this world of 7 billion people needing attention where news is fabricated instead of searched for we all...yup all of us want to be noticed and need to be noticed .
raccoon
(31,110 posts)Cyber-disinhibition is a term coined by Daniel Goleman, an expert in the field of Emotional Intelligence. Goleman maintains that Internet based communications actually undermine the quality of human interactions by enabling more negative styles of communications, or more accurately, by preventing the neural checks to such behavior. Consequently, because of the growing ubiquity of Internet based communication, Cyber-disinhibition manifests itself regularly in such ways as flame wars, Cyber-bullying, and hostile blog comments. All of which, Goleman maintains, are much more frequent than negative face-to-face interactions
http://newmedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cyber-disinhibition
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)Inkfreak
(1,695 posts)Javaman
(62,521 posts)I kid I kid.
You are right.
the internet allows people to devolve into their most basic life forms.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)people who find society frustrating. Participation online is a social activity which is rewarding in one way, but without a lot of the bullshit face-to-face interactions involve (and which normal people have learned to handle effectively).
So that whereas normal people in face-to-face encounters have the same emotional reaction to nonsense which online people do, normal people finesse a way of responding which allows the recipient to save face. Heavy internet participants who spend all day, every day, online in Warcraft or Reddit or wherever, are more direct with relative impunity.
Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)If they can't incite conflict at this moment they'll just rehash old conflicts in order to get their anger fix. The ones I know aren't even online much, they pick fights in real life.
I've been convinced for a long time now that anger is addictive and there are a lot of anger addicts out there.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)Someone who is absolutely wrapped up in gossip and conflict, reads the celebrity gossip mags and gossips constantly about anyone and everyone in her life.
Funny thing is when she's not angry and upset she's actually quite a nice person, you just never know when she's going to go off over something amazingly trivial and then stay upset for days.
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)men, as often men are or can become such assholes as they move into turf wars. Women, not so much. Women seem to look for solutions while men look for or anticipate the next conflict and are always trigger-armed in their interactions with others. Of course, selection of team members is always most important regardless of the sex.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)a sports fan or participant, and when I got old enough to hold adult jobs, I resolved (at some point, not sure exactly when) not to EVER take a job working with Type A people of either gender, and in fact, in EVERY INTERVIEW I have with potential employers, I make it clear from the first appropriate occasion to let them know I do not work with screamers or abusers, 'and I hope that's not a problem...?'
That said, I agree that women are likelier to look for consensus and men likelier to search for conflicts in which they can triumph/shine.
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)appalachiablue
(41,131 posts)We're just at the beginning stage I've read. Should be interesting.
Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)I know for a fact that at least two people have gone to the trouble to find out who I am in real life and used that knowledge to try and intimidate me.
daleanime
(17,796 posts)Fear. It's just easier when you don't have to face people.
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)would change interactions.
Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)If you live in a right wing area like me you'd keep your trap shut about being a liberal, far too many vindictive right wingers around who will try to cause trouble for you.
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)one says it's bound to tick off someone, someplace in the world. I prefer being anonymous. I've had one death threat because of a DU post.
ailsagirl
(22,896 posts)That's really frightening. What the hell is happening to us??
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)ailsagirl
(22,896 posts)...and I hope it never happens again.
Peace
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)I had a very nasty pm from a poster that certainly seemed to be a threat.
No idea if that poster is still here or not.
Really creeped me out.
RKP5637
(67,104 posts)took care of it for me.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)The thread where the disagreement began was so silly as I remember.
No idea why the person became so hostile.
Kalidurga
(14,177 posts)Some people are mostly just mean online, some are mostly mean in real life. I don't think it's just because they are anonymous if it was that then everyone would be a troll. But, trolls are pretty rare they exist for sure though. If you ever doubt the existence of trolls hang out in the AA forum for a day.
ND-Dem
(4,571 posts)for the same reasons they're mean in other places.
longship
(40,416 posts)Dpm12
(512 posts)Ms. Toad
(34,065 posts)given that every one of them is posting behind the veil of anonymity.
Anonymity is not the problem, and is - in fact - very useful in giving a voice to those whose voices we seldom hear because the prejudices we have about LGBT individuals, people with mental health issues, people with criminal history, battered women, rape survivors, etc. make it risky to connect that part of our identity to our real life persona.
The problem is that people of ill will use whatever tool is available (including anonymity) to further their goals of making life miserable for others.
Rather than remove the very useful tool for helping us her the voices of people whose identity includes a component that is often scorned, we need to focus on building expectations of behavior which further community building rather than tearing down, and tools to enforce those expectations.
Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
(107,922 posts)Some people are that way when they drive. They'll curse someone in front of them under their breath for slowing them down. If they were walking they'd just politely say "excuse me."
Then again there are those who are plain assholes no matter what.