Republicans Finally Find Oppressed Refugees Worthy Of Asylum.
Its People Who Homeschool
You might remember the plight of those
poor German homeschoolers who applied for asylum in the USA after the oppressive German government wouldnt let them teach their kids about Jebus and his pet dinosaur. They really had it rough, and Eric Holder wouldnt even help them at all, apparently because hes content to see children abused by having to go to public schools. It was pretty much like the Holocaust, only directed at Christians and with German public school classrooms instead of gas chambers.
Thank heavens, the House of Representatives is going to fix this
horrific denial of human rights! Even though the family of Ewe and Hannelore Romieke was granted indefinite deferred action status by the Department of Homeland Security, the House Judiciary Committee has approved a new bill that would grant asylum to up to 500 families a year who are forced to escape repressive regimes like the one in Germany, where homeschooling isnt allowed. Christian News is excited that the bill would also require the U.S. attorney general to hire at least 50 more immigration judges, which in turn would make it easier for families to obtain asylum. If theyre oppressed Christian homeschoolers, that is.
The rest of the
Asylum Reform and Border Protection Act of 2015? is pretty much aimed at making it harder for the
wrong kind of immigrants i.e., anyone who isnt an oppressed Christian homeschooler to be considered for asylum, as advocacy group
Human Rights First details.
The bill would make it harder for applicants to prove theyre likely to face persecution or death in their home countries; prohibits the government from funding any legal counsel for immigrants facing removal; and even when applicants have shown a credible fear of persecution, would not allow them to be paroled from detention facilities while waiting for a final hearing. So hey, if youre an unaccompanied minor fleeing gangs who want to kill your family in Central America, make sure you carry a copy of a Bob Jones University Press textbook with you, and be ready to say that you fear being forced to go back to a government school, and youll be in like Flynn. (Actually, we deported Flynn he wasnt a homeschooler.)
Wonkette