Texas to Televise Executions Live on Pay-Per-View

[MannyGoldstein]

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/12/29/texas-to-televise-executions-live-on-pay-per-view/

The State of Texas passed a law today allowing death penalty executions to be aired live on pay-per-view television.

As part of the deal with a local production company, the execution procedure will be changed to ensure the deaths of prisoners last at least 12 hours. Officials say the goals of the new policy are to deter crime, entertain law-abiding citizens, and partially defray the cost of executing prisoners.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has been a longtime champion of the idea, telling The Cowboy Gazette, “At the end of the day, the guy’s still dead. What’s the difference if they die in a minute or eight hours? At a certain point, the criminal will become unconscious, so it’s not really torture if he’s unconscious.”

[marym625]

1. damn! had me going for a minute

Wouldn't put it past them though

[superpatriotman]

2. Satire

Thanks for the heads up.

Makin' me read, and what not.

[dhol82]

3. Just so nobody's head explodes

This is a satirical site.

Although, when I saw the headline I did do a face palm and said, ' now, what else?'

[hifiguy]

9. In these times today's satire

becomes tomorrow's reality all too easily. I would never put this past the imbeciles who run Texas.

[dhol82]

11. Sadly have to agree

Frankly, I could see the crazies in Texas jumping for joy and being ecstatic over the thought.

Hmmm - wonder if Perry will take this up as a reality showtime? Man is freaky enough.

[dixiegrrrrl]

14. Carlin DID predict it.

I read it as real for the few sentences.
Nothing surprises me ...much....anymore, esp. re: Texas and Fla. politics.

[Fumesucker]

4. Eventually to be released as a boxed set of Blue Ray discs

So you can relive, so to speak, your favorite moments as often as you wish in stunning high definition video in the privacy of your home theater.

[katmondoo]

5. The fact that I was amost suckered into believing this it shows

what I think of Texas. That's scary.

[LiberalElite]

6. Me too - seemed completely plausible. nt

[NightWatcher]

7. I wish they would on free network tv, and I wish it were gory and horrifying

Then maybe we'd stop doing it altogether.

[jmowreader]

8. If you want to get rid of executions, don't do that

The gorier you make them, the more popular they will be. Everyone here's seen some combination of Life of Brian, Logan's Run, The Running Man and Idiocracy - all movies that have a public execution component. (You could also throw the Death Race series in there.) And we all know about Roman gladiators. The nastier and more brutal the executions are, the more people watch and the more executions they will demand.

To get rid of executions, pass a law requiring the entire jury including alternates to attend the execution, and for one of the members of the active jury, chosen at random, to serve as the executioner. Would you as a "reasonable member of society" choose to end the life of another person if that choice meant you might have to kill him yourself?

[NightWatcher]

12. I like the way you think

[longship]

10. Note: OP is satire. Here's some more, by George Carlin.

R&K

[Bigmack]

13. Goddamit!!! Those people don't understand satire. They'll think it's a brilliant idea and do it!! nt