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Tue Jun 17, 2014, 02:55 PM

Misogyny and Homophobia: Chickens, Eggs, and Opposition to Marriage Equality

I thought long and hard about the title for this post.

The "money shot" is really the last two words: "Marriage Equality."

First, let me confess to a couple of dirty little secrets about myself:

One: (Of this, I am not ashamed.) I'm a cis-woman, but my sexuality/orientation is "bonobo." I don't 'get' how the shape of an individual's naughty bits is supposed to influence whether I think a person is hot, whether I'd like to have sex with them, or whether I could have a long-term intimate partnership with them. I never have. I find it utterly mystifying that it matters to others, but a lifetime of cultural conditioning has taught me the norms and expectations, even if only from a purely intellectual standpoint.

Two: (Of this, I am deeply ashamed.) That same cultural conditioning led me to regard the institution of marriage as something relevant only from the standpoint of the specific legal and economic benefits appertaining thereunto. Thus, for a number of years, I supported "civil union equality" but wrote off marriage equality as not worth offending potential allies who might have religious issues over. (I SAID I was deeply ashamed, and yes, I've learned better, and am working to make amends.)

So the marriage equality fight is mine, now, in a very visceral way, based partly on that shame and need to make amends (which is the only positive thing you can do with shame) but also from another reason that I hadn't really grasped until very recently.

Let's put it out there first and foremost that the REAL driver behind the anti-marriage-equality effort is the same culprit behind most of what's wrong in our society today: The need of Our Beloved Oligarchs to keep us at each others' throats so that they can keep emptying our pockets into their offshore accounts.

Our Beloved Oligarchs have no real moral convictions about whether homosexuality is right or wrong because, let's face it, they have no moral convictions. Period. They have only the utterly pragmatic need to maintain and increase their own power and wealth.

That being the case, they work through their paid shills and grifters (some of whom have genuine, if revolting, moral convictions, and some who merely cynically exploit the demand) to find highly divisive issues that are broadly congruent with their real goals of maintaining control.

Marriage equality is a made-to-order banquet for them, from that standpoint.

Yes, the opposition to marriage equality deeply rooted in homophobia and the whole ignorant, "ick factor" fear of Teh Gayitude among the flocks shepherded by those shills and grifters.

But the other, less-obvious roots go just as deep, and focus in on the "E" word: "Equality."

We can see it in the escalating volume and venom of the misogynistic attempts to keep women fearful, keep our bodies under their control, keep us in our second-class status in a whole array of social and economic areas.

You know how they've been saying that letting gay people marry will "destroy marriage?"

They're RIGHT.

They are absolutely, one-thousand-percent spot-on accurate with that.

Because the institution of marriage has never been notable for equality.

One side of the heterosexual marriage equation has ALWAYS gotten the fuzzy side of the lollipop. (Oh, and-- MRA trolls? Fuck off with your 'women have had it easy because they didn't have to go out and win bread' crap, okay? Just fuck off with that.)

So, what happens when we can no longer identify the "less equal" partner in a two-party marriage, by the shape of their naughty bits?

Marriage becomes a different institution. A mutual arrangement between two equal parties, for the support of themselves and their offspring, bolstered by a social infrastructure. (Yeah, SURE it always was that. Say "hi" to your pet unicorn for me, too.)

So, which reason ("icky gayness" or "uppity wimmin" is the most fundamental, important core of the anti-marriage equality effort?

That's where the chicken/egg part of the title comes in.

This is the fight of every human being who cares about equality.

It is my fight.

I have a LOT of skin in this game.

There will be no compromise, and no stopping, short of total victory.

No church, no sensible woodchucks, no pragmatic temporizing will deter me.

I see the possibility, I see the future. I see equality on the horizon, and marriage equality is a shining road to get us there.

No way am I gonna let anything run me off this road.

adamantly,
Bright

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Reply Misogyny and Homophobia: Chickens, Eggs, and Opposition to Marriage Equality (Original post)
TygrBright Jun 2014 OP
GeorgeGist Jun 2014 #1
TygrBright Jun 2014 #2
Bluenorthwest Jun 2014 #3
hunter Jun 2014 #4
nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #6
leftstreet Jun 2014 #5
nomorenomore08 Jun 2014 #7

Response to TygrBright (Original post)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 03:17 PM

1. I think the contractual nature of marriage is often romanticized. And now this ...




Kick and Rec

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Response to GeorgeGist (Reply #1)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 03:22 PM

2. LOL! Thank you!

I very much needed a good belly laugh.

appreciatively,
Bright

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Response to TygrBright (Original post)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 03:26 PM

3. People who don't support equality for all don't support equality AT all.

 

It is that simple. The triangulation crowd is upset because the center has carefully nurtured their equality position to appeal to a group that is now considered purely Republican and bigoted. So they are very angry.

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Response to TygrBright (Original post)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 03:38 PM

4. Marriage is a human right.

Simple. No more discussion.

I'm going to fly my rainbow flag here on DU until marriage between any two consenting adults is the law of the land.

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Response to hunter (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 04:32 PM

6. +1

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Response to TygrBright (Original post)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 03:43 PM

5. DURec

What a thoughtful post

Because the institution of marriage has never been notable for equality.


No kidding. "EQUALITY" of any kind is the dirty word to the ruling class

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Response to TygrBright (Original post)

Tue Jun 17, 2014, 04:33 PM

7. It really is about keeping women (and men) in their place. Reinforcing outdated gender roles.

And "MRA's" contribute to the same whether they think they do or not.

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