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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWorking Poor In Rural USA
When I wake up on mornings that I know I have to work, it can be overwhelmingly depressing. This isn't because I don't like working - on the contrary, I loved the jobs I had in my teens, or early twenties, when I was working for carpenters, doing yard work, doing various tasks for farmers and random odd jobs. The problem with that sort of work, is that it is sporadic at best, temporary - and often pays less than minimum wage as it tends to be "under the table". There were weeks when, earlier in my youth, I worked like a dog just to pay for gas and the occasional beer. I loved it though, because it was honest work - and because I've always enjoyed working with my hands. Until I nearly cut one of them off with a saw, anyway - but that's a different story.
Now I'm nearing thirty, with many jobs under my belt, with my grand GED education and a year of college. I live in a right to work state: Maine. What right to work really means, when it comes right down to it, is that you can be fired for looking at someone the wrong way, or for no reason at all. At will employment basically means that, provided there is no obvious discrimination or illegal action, you can be terminated just because your boss is having a bad day.
Standard pay is eight dollars an hour, which, while being slightly above minimum wage, requires you to either work full time to barely get by, or to work full time and get an additional part time job in order to avoid the necessity of state/federal aid. If you have children who depend on you, well... you're kind of screwed, without a degree or professional career.
Last weekend the manager of my workplace really let me have it. When I say I was yelled at - I mean, quite literally, that I was "yelled at", as if I were a child who had broken his Mother's favorite vase, pulled his sister's hair, and written all over the living room walls with crayon. The reason? Money. I'm "too nice", I try too hard to give people rates they can afford, I'm not strict enough with our rates - even though they are absurdly high - and I could not afford to stay at the hotel I work at for even one night. It's really ridiculous to get yelled at for selling a room for 89 dollars a night, in rural Maine, when you're supposed to charge 115. The owner wonders why business is poor....
I could do nothing but stand with my head down, nod along, and agree with my manager (all while apologizing profusely) as I was told that I was "giving away company money!". I had offered the corporate rate to a couple who's pipes had burst, even though they weren't there on business. Even though they couldn't afford 115 and it was ten below outside. Of course, in the Manager's defense, it was a rough night. A dishwasher hadn't shown up for work, or called in (we have a restaurant at the hotel) and the pipes in the fitness center had burst, making the ladies washroom facilities unavailable. I am sure that the owner yelled at the manager, who, in turn, yelled at everyone else.
The problem is that, living in a right to work state... you do not have the right to yell back. You do not have the right to speak honestly, you do not have the right to complain. Doing these things can very easily get you fired. You are expected to eat your lunch or dinner, at the desk, to abide by a "no breaks" policy, and to simply swallow it and keep quiet when your employer does something you know is wrong. You know, like making a co-worker work four months in a row without a day off.
I'm tired, all the time. Every time I make even a small mistake I need to hope I don't get fired for it. I have no health insurance, the idea of taking a vacation is laughable, as poor as I am... I live with my parents and I'm in student loan debt up to my eye balls.
I guess these are largely white people problems (complaining about conditions that those in truly desperate circumstances would envy) but... there are days when I really just want to run away somewhere, maybe another Country, maybe just go live out in the woods (too damn cold though) like a hermit. The longer I live as a member of the working poor class here in the land of the free... the more apathetic and depressed I become. One day I'll probably be forced to stop working, due to advanced age or illness - and when that happens, I'll probably join the ranks of the homeless and hungry - especially if we continue to elect republican governors and senators for our great state.
My situation is by no means the worst, but it sucks. I imagine there are people far more angry, or far more depressed than I am, who work more, who suffer more, and who are even more exhausted. It makes me wonder... when will the working poor have finally had enough? Is there a breaking point? Or will conditions continue to get worse as the price of living becomes completely unaffordable to all but the wealthy?
I am one of millions who cannot afford to live on their own, who cannot get health insurance, who would be up shit creek without a paddle if not for the generosity of family. It's not because I don't work. I'm not lazy, I'm not demanding something for nothing, I'm not trying to force rich people to buy me a house or a car. What I am... is getting angry. Not just on my own behalf, but on behalf of the millions like me. But if I try to form a union, I'll get fired and probably lynched by northern Maine conservatives.
Can't go back to school, can't find better work as there is simply none to be found here... and somehow, no matter how hard I work, I end up deeper in debt and more unhappy.
It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Hard work does pay - just enough to survive. The people in this Country who work the hardest are usually the poorest, and it's damn exhausting.
Well, I guess I've ranted enough for one post. I thought maybe talking about all this would help me feel a little less stressed before work, but it actually made it worse to acknowledge how bad things suck and how I really have no other options. Boo hoo, right? I mean, I'm not starving or homeless, I have a computer and the internet. I shouldn't bitch so much. Ah well, thanks for reading.
raging moderate
(4,281 posts)This is a great essay that should be published more widely. Unfortunately, here at DU, you are preaching to the choir. This should be sent to the White House, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Alan Grayson, and Bernie Sanders.
I wonder whether you could write a book someday. I know I would buy it.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I'm an aspiring writer, but I'm still searching for the right story to tell. I tend to compare myself with the really great authors who's work I love reading, and when I write something, I am the worst sort of nasty critic of my own work. I don't know if anyone at the White House would care to read this... but one day, I hope to write something that will inspire people, or cheer them up. Or maybe just offer them a temporary escape.
I expect that if I did write something really great, I'd convince myself it was awful. Perhaps I should share more with people who aren't me.
flying rabbit
(4,612 posts)not the house kind. The art kind. I am also my own worst critic. Your last sentence was spot on, share your stuff, get feedback and go for it. Oh, and don't hang yourself up on the right story to tell, just keep telling stories until you knock it out of the park. I am learning that with painting-I don't need to paint the Mona Lisa, but everything I do makes me better. Someday, who knows? Best of luck to you.
delta17
(283 posts)And this OP should get published nationwide. It was hard to read (emotionally I mean), but really well written and important.
El_Johns
(1,805 posts)But -- never let it get to you deep down. Understanding how the system works and the kinds of illusions my "superiors" are operating under helps inoculate me from actually taking their random abuse to heart.
gwheezie
(3,580 posts)I work in the inner city but live in a rural county, the poverty where I live seems far worse than where I work. People don't notice the poverty out here in the woods as easily as in a city and the services are few and far between. It's interesting, I volunteer for a local church out here in the woods, we do some free health clinics, the pastor here is from India and prior to moving here he thought he'd never see poverty on the same level as his homeland so was shocked at the condition of the rural poor here. I have been to home with no electricity or plumbing, there are no jobs here and no transportation to get to any. If you are driving down the road here at 5am, you can see people walking for miles to do some day labor on a local farm or business. Young folks here have very little opportunity unless they leave.
I think you have a story to tell that would be eye opening for people who think the poor reside in cities.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)It can be deeply humbling to read of people who struggle so much more. It's people like you, the Pastor you speak of, and those who run the free health clinics... that redeem us all, just a little bit. To give something of yourself, your energy, time and passion - without demanding anything in return. Were humanity more generous, more willing to simply follow the simple things we're told in kindergarten about sharing and being nice... it would be a much happier world.
As hard as life can be - and there are days when it's absolutely miserable... it's worth sticking around for the people who give a damn. Much as I need my job, there are some principles I just can't compromise. If I have the ability to give someone truly in need a discount or a more affordable rate... well, I'll do it, until I get fired. Not because I don't need my job - I would suffer for losing it. Yet I just can't be a company man, I'm a human being first.
Of course, telling my boss these things would get me fired immediately. Hmm. I wonder if there's any good jobs in Canada...
I would love to tell a story that would help, that would do something meaningful to make life even just a tiny bit better for people who are struggling. Yet, when I do finally tell the story I want to, I expect it will be about more than just those who are suffering, but about those who helped lift them up, who were generous, who gave something back. People like you and your Pastor.
Thanks for reading.
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)don't aim for perfection - the story must be told and it will expand with the telling. contact the local community college or by some other means - get yourself an editor if it will give you more confidence for your writing.
keep writing.
BlueToTheBone
(3,747 posts)In the middle of the action....start with the downward stare and tell the feeling of helplessness and rage and build your character and story and outcome from there. Don't wait for a good story, you have one. It doesn't have to be a book. You can build any universe you want in your story and your character can act in any way you want him/her to. Perhaps you can write your way to a different outcome.
Good luck.
ctsnowman
(1,903 posts)I get a little more water up my nose each year and it doesn't make me feel any better knowing some have already gone under. As a matter of fact that just lets me know I'm probably going to join them soon.
Peace.
Hubert Flottz
(37,726 posts)Unions are not perfect, but then nothing else is either. If working people don't join forces the fat cats will keep right on taking away everything working America has fought for since the 19th century.
I feel sorry for anyone who can't fight back, when they are abused by an employer. I have stood up for the underdog all my life. Sometimes at a great cost to my family and me. I salute you for putting your family first, but I couldn't always do that, because I'm a Libra I guess.
I'm glad I became a member of the AFL-CIO very early on in my working career. The union and I have served each other well over the years. I couldn't have rolled any other way.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I would have at least made an attempt to form one already. Up here though, if you start talking about unions, people look at you like you just cussed out the baby Jesus and confessed to eating children. I expect that if I did try to get something in regards to forming a union for service workers... the good old boys up here would shut it down very quickly. There is a massive ignorance up here about the purpose and value of unions - words like socialist and communist start getting thrown around, and before you know it, you're fired, and it's a whole lot harder to find work because the good old boys do most of the hiring, and in small towns, word travels fast.
Still, it would be nice to try. Perhaps I need to educate myself about how to go about forming a union. If enough of the working poor join forces...
Hubert Flottz
(37,726 posts)local people who are working on setting things straight up there. You are probably not the only unhappy camper in your area. Look in your yellow pages for unions and contact them. Maybe you can get into a carpenter's apprentice program in your area?
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)there would not be ANY middle class. zilch. nada.
as a person of color, belonging to a union empowered me.
theHandpuppet
(19,964 posts).. has led to a shrinking middle class.
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)based on your life.
I will suggest starting with short stories.
Because so few of us anymore live in rural America, most have no idea what it is really like. I spent part of my childhood (ages 7-14) in rural northern New York State, where the farmers all had dairy cows. There were poor people, of course. But jobs were far more readily available, because that was the 1950's, and for the most part things were getting better for just about everyone.
Now a lot of rural areas seem a lot more isolated than they were fifty years ago. And the current economy makes almost everyone desperate. If you have a job, you need to cling to it because it's not easy to get another one. If you don't live real close to a community college, getting training for something better (which community colleges are wonderful for) just can't happen. Or you work an evening shift and those classes are all in the evening. Or your car breaks down. Or something happens.
Please do consider writing what you've experienced.
Oh, and you're not making a real first-world complaint here. Okay, so you're not at the total bottom of the shit pile, but you're somewhere in the middle, and this is your life, your experience, and you have a lot to share.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)a whole lot of us are going to have to go back to living as our ancestors did. Smaller communities where people grow their own food, provide for themselves and for each other. The current social safety net... the remains of it, leave too many people cold and hungry. As I don't want to be cold and hungry (well, it's Maine, so I'm going to be cold anyway, but...) I'd better get to work. I will consider writing more about my experiences - and I thank you for the encouragement.
Squinch
(50,773 posts)any possibility of exploring this idea of small collectives of people in the same position you are in pooling their resources to try to make their quality of life better?
Life is too short to feel like you are feeling, and it used to be that you worked really hard and got a better job, but as you say the better jobs aren't out there.
It looks like we need to be creating new definitions of "security" and "prosperity" in order to create happy lives under our current conditions. This idea of pooling resources seems to be looking in the right direction.
ETA: Let me add my agreement that you have a knack with the written word.
passiveporcupine
(8,175 posts)You wrote:
"Standard pay is eight dollars an hour, which, while being slightly above minimum wage, requires you to either work full time to barely get by, or to work full time and get an additional part time job in order to avoid the necessity of state/federal aid. If you have children who depend on you, well... you're kind of screwed, without a degree or professional career."
What is really not discussed enough is that people living on "barely able to survive" wages, usually do not have enough money to put anything in savings, so they will end up without a retirement fund, if they are unable to find a job that helps them with benefits and a 401K. Social Security only pays about half of what you make now, so retirement will likely leave you in poverty and needed assistance from the government. Hopefully, before you retire, your circumstances will improve...but what if something happens and you become disabled before you can earn more money or a better SS payout? You will be living in poverty and on assistance the rest of your life . And republicans want to cut that assistance and even cut your social security benefits, while denying cost of living raises to people on minimum wage. And minimum wage increases bump up all other low level wages.
This whole picture is just obscene. Everyone cannot have a good job that pays and offers good benefits. We need people to work all the not so good or not so well paid jobs. And it's not their fault that they aren't paid enough for the work they do...it's a fucked up social contract that allows people to work for slave wages. We will always have the lower rungs of the ladder...but now it's getting to the point that too many of the ladder rungs are below sea level and we need to fix this. NOW!
grntuscarora
(1,249 posts)nt
Aldo Leopold
(685 posts)Thanks for posting. This is very valuable insight.
Stargazer99
(2,539 posts)The failure is not due to the working poor, teachers, police, ect-it is due to the sadistic power of the monied
woo me with science
(32,139 posts)Thank you for putting it here.
I recently watched someone I know struggle through a horrible time when his company was sold. The new owners insisted that he become draconian and brutal with clients he had served for decades. These were people, many of them elderly, who always paid their bills, but who sometimes needed a little grace period. He had built relationships with them over time, and they had mutual trust and respect. All of a sudden he was being ordered to threaten them, take them to court, or even evict them.
After struggling with what they demanded he do to the point of physical illness, he ended up leaving the job and taking a significant pay cut. He told me he could not evict an 85-year-old man who had demonstrated over decades his honesty and intent to pay, for a company rolling in profits as a result of that very man and others like him. He had to quit, "to find a company that allows me to keep my humanity."
I hope you will keep writing. Voices like yours are desperately needed. It's good to see you posting.
LuvNewcastle
(16,820 posts)No goal to work toward. You can eat bologna sandwiches for a long time if you know there's a payoff coming in the future for all the sacrifice. But there isn't any. We all expect things to either stay the same or get worse. It'll drive some to despair or drugs or suicide, but others are driven to action to change things. Let's all try to be one of those driven toward change. It's absolutely the only way we're ever going to see an end to this.
TBF
(31,922 posts)have interestingly started popping up in the lexicon quite frequently in the past year or two. I think it's an obvious marketing ploy to make you feel as if you shouldn't complain.
I am going to keep complaining. When one family, prominently featuring a drunk ass woman who can't keep her damned car on the road (and has yet to go to jail), controls more than 40% of the wealth in the country it is time to revisit exactly why we keep propping up capitalism.
And you dear sir should keep writing. You have a knack for it.
and a big k&r for a great thread.
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)I don't mean to pry, but a) I think people should evaluate the ROI of college dispassionately to make informed choices and b) avoid the college for which one year leaves a student in crippling debt.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)community college leaves one in debt up their eyeballs.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I know that for a lot of people this doesn't seem like much - many are far deeper in debt. For me though, ten grand really is in debt up to my eye balls. I can no more come up with that sort of money, than I could teleport to the moon by blinking. I can't afford to make the payments being demanded of me, either. Eventually, they'll either have to accept something 25 bucks a month, or take me to court. Twenty-five dollars a month for the next thirty years or so - and even that is going to hurt.
It costs less money to go to college here (University or community) than it does in most other places in the Country. Tuition is not as high as in many other areas - and generally, neither is housing. This doesn't make much difference when you can't find work though, and I couldn't, not that year.
Overall, the University I attended is probably one of the most affordable in the Country. My initial plan was to find a work study job in addition to a part time job - well, the work study positions were all taken up by those more in need, and the only part time jobs I came across I was no where near qualified for.
It wasn't so much the school, as it was (and still is) the circumstances of the area in which I live. Poor economic conditions, not many jobs available - even teenagers who work for the local Burger King can't get enough hours to make car payments.
You're not prying - and your suggestion is logical and wise.
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)I'm just shocked, I guess, that college costs so much.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)College costs are outrageous these days.
This is a public university as well. Private schools are much, much more.
Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)That is 50X higher than the in-state tuition that I was paying at the University of Arkansas
ragemage
(104 posts)Somewhat appropriate quote from Alice in Wonderland:
"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
So it seems you are just surviving, not thriving. It would take much more energy to get anywhere ahead.
I also love the quote from George Carlin you put in your article: It's called the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. That is one of the most concise explanations of the issues we have right now:
Your article was very well written and I wish you all the luck in the world. My only advice is don't hold in your anger, release it through your writing as you just did, also don't take any shit from your boss. He/she is human just like you, no better then you. You are on the same level as them. Don't let your anger build up, release it or it will eat you alive. Believe me I have seen it destroy people.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I appreciate your reply and your kindness. I'm not sure I can follow your advice though - my boss may be human, but my boss is a human on a very different level than I am. My boss has money, power, position, influence. I kind of have to take shit from my boss, if I refuse to, if I argue or fight back, I lose my job. There really isn't any protection from that when you're in a non-union job in a right to work state.
I have always been very careful to keep my anger on a tight leash, but... lately, that leash is slipping. I am so very angry at those who have the most money and power in our society, that if I truly let loose, I expect I'd have a never-ending tantrum. I am tired of the great ignorance, selfishness, greed, cruelty. I am tired of watching the poor get pushed around - I am tired of being poor and being pushed around.
So far, I've managed not to lose it, well, it's been a few months since I did, anyway. Perhaps I need to re-evaluate my life and what I really want from it, who I want to be.
HoosierCowboy
(561 posts)...and rural white people can claim all the credit for voting in all the economic policy changes that put a guy like this in this situation. I am not being cruel, but until Americans start taking their politics as seriously as they do their football, don't expect anything to change.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)Keep in mind though, that there are those of us in rural areas who feel the same way you do. I can't understand how my own economically struggling County somehow managed to push through enough votes to get this asshole LePage elected. Ignorance, cruelty, bigotry... anger, hate. These things can be very common in rural areas - and very subtle. Generally speaking, I avoid watching sports like I avoid watching reality television. I have nothing against athletes, but can't stand our celebrity obsession. Every time hear a radio DJ start talking about the latest celebrity scandal (which is ridiculously often) I change the station.
I do take my politics seriously - it's why I vote, it's why I'm here at DU. That being said... rural white America can be very depressing to live in. At times, it's like being surrounded by aliens - or like being in a jungle, surrounded by cannibals, wearing nothing but ketchup. At work or out in public, I watch what I say because I know that, if they knew even a tenth of what was in my mind and heart, the good old boys of the County would never offer me another job. I have mingled with them throughout my life, I have listened to them speak, so I'm very familiar with their ideologies - they make me sick.
To be true to my principles, perhaps I should quit my job and pursue something else... but, can't do much without my car, my computer and internet - and as much as I dislike my job, it pays for these things.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)use the fear of the different, like folks of different skin color or sexual orientation, to whip up the mostly white rural vote.
dhill926
(16,234 posts)perhaps you should submit some of your writing to "The Sun." A great mag and this seems right up their alley. Good luck!
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)tazkcmo
(7,286 posts)Then my hours were to be cut to 15 per week. I had to ask one of my children to help me. Talk about humiliating. I'm supposed to be helping them not the other way around. It's very depressing in rural US. You see broken windows that get boarded over or plastic wrapped because the resident can't afford to properly fix it, closed businesses, dilapidated buildings, etc all around. Then you start thinking how most of the folks in these communities vote and the depression gets that much deeper.
As I said, I'm out of there now but still struggling to find a job. At least I have a little help now. Hang in there.
Dogtired
(8 posts)I also live in a relatively small town and have done construction my whole life in North Carolina. I don't know if we are a right to work state, but the radical republicans have taken over and it wasn't a whole lot better under the other corporate party. Your working evironment sounds similar to my working class experience. I quit my last job over such abuse in 2008 or 2009 and have returned to school and almost completed my degree but prospects for employment are not good. You make me feel good writing this, as i and many americans feel the same way. If all the majority in my neck of the woods weren't brainwashed into voting against their own interests or willing to just get into the streets it might change. Until then sadly it will not. I hear you brother. You are certainly "accurate and elequent" as the other respondent said and defenitely not alone.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)hopemountain
(3,919 posts)and you explain your motivation for writing it perfectly.
on a side note, when your employer gives you shit, please do not hang your head, nor lower your eyes.
look this person right in the eyes to their soul. no need to submit. millions of our ancestors have done this for us.
maddiemom
(5,106 posts)It meant you were actually at the mercy of your employers with no union or other representation standing up for YOUR rights. In more recent years, I've realized that this was the first right wing term which later became standard for the Republicans through their Frank Luntzes and Karl Roves. "Clear Skies Initiatives" and on and on... In college, in the Sixties, many of us were taught to understand these ploys. S. E Hayakawa's books (before he was an old man falling asleep in Congress) were standard fare to encourage us to THINK (otherwise known as snobbish indoctrination by the Right Wing.) That was the "problem" in the Sixties, now a joke with many more recent generations.
eilen
(4,950 posts)the county north of us is rural and we are surrounded by the rural areas and here is where many who live there come and work here and I am often shocked by their attitudes.
One would think there would be some empathy, compassion etc. for the working poor among them and those that cannot keep their heads above water--who have to resort to getting public assistance or those that have physical and mental health breakdowns-- but no there is nothing but scorn.
I really don't understand it.
Yes, people often make bad choices that make their situations worse. I know, it happens but the fact is, when you are living in poverty, you are not really equipped to make good decisions because you are very stressed.
I have patients who still smoke when it clearly makes their health more precarious. It is frustrating. But do I refuse to help them when they need assistance? I can help them without being taken advantage of (ie-- my title is Nurse, not Butler). I believe we can do the same thing when it comes to regular people struggling to keep their heads above the economic waters.
For example, this OP, by virtue of his income should have his student loan forgiven or at least deferred or percentage of balance reduced over time (kind of like a reverse interest). If there are deferrals after 10 years, forgiven. Many people start off with very low paying positions and given the opportunity, their salary increases. This economy we have here is torpid.
99Forever
(14,524 posts)You are correct, versions of your sort of quiet desperation are becoming the norm in this once great country.
In the meantime...
... the "leaders" of both major political parties feast at the corporate trough and fiddle as the nation burns.
Zorra
(27,670 posts)LuckyLib
(6,814 posts)by example what decency, courtesy, and concern for others looks like. You are a good writer, but don't think too big or it becomes overwhelming. A book? Once you've gained some confidence that could well happen. But start with an op ed piece submitted to the largest newspaper in Maine, along the theme that you are so good at describing -- the working poor among us. Use examples from your community (for the moment not your own personal situation), information you find about the invisibility of the the rural poor nationally and in Maine. About folks working to share, find resources amongst themselves, create cooperatives of talent that fosters trading. (There is plenty of underground economy out there -- what are some examples in rural Maine?)
Keep sending readable, interesting pieces out there -- eventually some editor somewhere in your state will grab it. Then, it might be picked up elsewhere -- I'm often amazed at an op ed or informational piece that appears in my paper from somewhere else in the country. You will start getting inquiries from folks interested in what you have to say and the networking begins. You'll get energized by the process, and begin to realize that while feeling stuck you are beginning to connect to others through writing. What we do or write is never perfect, and certainly someone else might do it better. But YOU took the step, and the important message has a chance to get out there. Good luck and keep working at it!
TheKentuckian
(24,945 posts)plight and a double - plus fuck you to anyone who thinks you do.
White folks problems indeed, what a stupid thought when black folks are even more likely to be crushed under the exact same weights and face similar obstacles with the same folks profiting at their expense.
This sentiment comes in no small part from folks that are protective as a mother bear of their class privilege and want to make sure it isn't a serious discussion that might impact it from comfortable whites and "upwardly mobile" minorities who think it is their turn. Fuck em.
Response to davidthegnome (Original post)
Name removed Message auto-removed
dionysus
(26,467 posts)davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)I grew up in Caribou, now I live about 30 miles north of there, little place called Madawaska Lake. Sanford is near Portland, isn't it?
dionysus
(26,467 posts)my dad grew up in jonesport.
shenmue
(38,501 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)It is a very, very tough state to survive, never mind thrive and grow.
I have been yelled at and bullied the same way you have...by children less than 1/2 my age! It is shocking, demeaning, insulting and unacceptable. When I was their age, if I'd behaved that way to anyone, never mind somebody 35+ years my senior, I'd have been fired on the spot. These days, they're promoted. I honestly don't get it.
But I do understand your pain and sense of hopelessness. I struggled all through my 20s and it wasn't until my mid-late 30s that I finally caught a little bit of a break. And not until I was 40 that I finally landed a job I was proud of.
It's ok to vent and it's ok to rant. You have a right to voice your bottled up feelings and a right to get some feedback.
PumpkinAle
(1,210 posts)and it is healthy to get this off your chest - especially in such a safe environment as DU. Sadly, there are many of us in the same boat - sometimes it is good to know you are not alone and there are others there with you.
Hugs to you David.