There are many men on DU who are supportive of women's rights

[La Lioness Priyanka]

who acknowledge that the experience of being a woman differs from being a man in society.

Most men do not live under constant threats of potential sexual violence. Most men don't live under stereotype threats of under-performance in significantly important domains, such as math and science. Most men don't worry that they are being paid less for equal work. Most men don't worry that they won't be promoted, because women are still considered poor fits for upper management. Most men don't experience sticky floor and glass ceilings.

But most men have important women in the lives (wife, daughter, mother etc.) and a lot of men believe in egalitarianism, most human beings are capable of empathy and for that I think most men don't diminish the importance of feminism, women's rights and discussions on how to get to a more egalitarian and fair society.

And for this, despite individual men who have mocked these issues as unimportant, I want to thank most men on DU, who do not diminish the importance of these issues to women.

so thank you guys especially if you consider yourself a feminist and thank you if you support feminism and thank you for taking our lives seriously.

also a huge thanks to President Obama, for this quote "I ran for President to put the same rights, the same opportunities, and the same dreams within reach for our daughters and sons alike"

[TDale313]

1. + a zillion

Great post.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. thanks

i feel that we sometimes on DU, fail to acknowledge the norm while paying great heed to those who are aberrant to the norm.

the norm on du, in many ways are men who support women's rights. The aberrant just stick out more.

[Gormy Cuss]

7. Yup. n/t

[freshwest]

21. Also

[roguevalley]

65. what you said. :D

[immoderate]

3. I think that men on DU who don't support women's equality are outliers.

They get a lot of attention, though.

--imm

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. GMTA. i literally just typed this upthread

[LiberalLoner]

5. + a zillion also too lol

[gollygee]

6. Yes, the majority of men here have been supportive

That is true.

[myrna minx]

8. I am so grateful to our wonderful male allies who do take our lives seriously.

Thank you.

[LisaLynne]

9. Very true!

Great post and thanks for taking the time to write it.

[seabeyond]

10. so valued, appreciated and important. please, do not ever think otherwise.

?405

[CrispyQ]

28. You & your pics!

Feeling better?

[seabeyond]

36. i am tired of the negative and the fighting when i feel the insight and growth. sooooo..........

[steve2470]

11. I support the women of DU and in the world with women's rights

You have an ally with me. I totally get it. All my friends are women and I'd like to think I have a better than average understanding of your concerns.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. ..

[1ProudAtheist]

13. Thank You

I have always stood up for equal rights, be it because of race, gender, or any other non-important classification. As a straight, white, male, I often find myself streotyped with racist, homophobic, misogynistic, bigots. That is no more who or what I am than using such assinine streotypes about any of those others is. People are individuals and should only be seen as that. Good is good, and bad is bad. I applaud any efforts made by anyone to try and see people for who and what they are, rather than what they look like, or what huge group that you can fit them into.

[meegbear]

14. Hear! Hear!

[sufrommich]

15. Rec. Great post.nt

[bemildred]

16. You are most welcome.

Shit, I'm afraid of other men, and women too, and I'm 6'2" and "beefy". I don't know why this is difficult to understand. Humans are the most dangerous animals on the planet, they need to be handled with great respect and consideration at all times.

Plus which, happy, secure women make much better friends, partners, and lovers.

[unc70]

40. A subtle point many women miss

Most men are wary of other men, and the real, ongoing, and routine threat of physical violence and bodily harm. We learned to be afraid before we were 10, little changed except the addition of sexuality at all levels and of alcohol.

[TahitiNut]

75. Happy, secure PEOPLE make much better friends, partners, and lovers.

[bemildred]

79. +1. nt

[barbtries]

17. mother of 3 sons

all i really wanted was to raise them to recognize women as HUMAN.
i think i've done fairly well.

and yes, thank you to all the men who do, who really do know that.

[closeupready]

18. I support 100% women's rights.

K&R

[Odin2005]

19. Thank you!

[Spazito]

20. Well said!

Excellent OP.

[mstinamotorcity2]

22. Thank you Men of DU

I am happy to see that most men understand that Women's Rights are Humanitarian Rights. and that legislation on behalf of Women effects their households at all Levels. Thanks for the Support Men!!!!!WE LOVE YOU MEN!!!!!

[jonesgirl]

23. I would like to add onto your comment...

Thanks to every woman for standing up for yourselves, and for standing up for those who can't. Thank you for holding your ground to the important things that matter to every woman. Thanks to all the woman who have to fight harder to prove they can do the same job, and some are better, in this world. Thanks for standing your ground on the Right to Vote, equality (still a ways off from this one), and thanks for being strong for future generations. Don't get me wrong, all women are not always right...just like all men are not always right, but women have had to fight for EVERYTHING just to have the same things as men. So for this, I thank every woman for standing up for equality.

[MotherPetrie]

24. K&R

[VOX]

25. Thank you so much!

Like the gentleman upthread stated, I too am a straight white male... but I've always been a liberal (and am getting more liberal with each passing year); what drives this is my capacity to listen, learn and evolve. But most important, I have a need to understand -- to the extent that's humanly possible -- others' point of view. I'm like a human tuning-fork -- if there's pain or injustice anywhere, its vibration is felt. Call me a bleeding-heart, I'll wear that term with pride. Any segment of society that's been treated with cruelty or been marginalized has my unwavering support.

My wife has been a great teacher. A hard-working mom, she is the aperture through which I gain insight into the way women are treated in this world -- the good and the bad, the obvious and the subtle. I owe her far more than I can ever repay.

Sorry for so much first-person self-evaluation, but it's a worthwhile exercise. I even enjoy the company of women more than men -- I find they often have the capacity to view topics with multiple perspectives simultaneously. (This is NOT some kind of stereotyping... it's just based on my observation.)

To all the great women of DU (and elsewhere), thank you for just being the terrific souls you are!

[JohnnyLib2]

26. Thank you. 30 years or so ago I was called "threatening" by a young woman in an office setting.

It was a profound shock at the time; I thought I politely followed her to the door.

Fortunately, the person who delivered the message explained things clearly and opened my eyes to the other interpretation. The young woman had a sad history.....

Lesson learned, the hard way.

[The Doctor.]

27. And indeed we should be.

Women's rights are human rights. To fail to recognize the different threats and struggles women deal with that men tend never to experience leaves a terrible imbalance in society.

Keep plugging away and hopefully we'll get there having done far more good than harm.

[RobertEarl]

37. Damn, Doc, you still kicking?

I thought I saw you burning at the stake.....?

Men: Can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

29. I can't imagine why ANY man here on DU would not support women's rights. This isn't Freeperville!

[CrispyQ]

30. Thank you for saying this.

[yardwork]

31. I was just thinking the same thing. k&r

[yardwork]

39. kick

[demmiblue]

32. K&R

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

33. Although I can't speak for them. I would hope the women in my life would put me in this category. nt

[Heidi]

34. I truly appreciate and respect most men on DU!

Thank you for this thread, LLP!

[regjoe]

35. Hate to tell you this

but almost all men "experience sticky floors" because we don't have glass ceilings.

[Uncle Joe]

38. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, La Lioness Priyanka.

[hfojvt]

41. "the experience of being a woman differs from being a man"

Yet you presume to speak about what it is like to be a man. How great most men have it compared to most women.

And when men, you know a group that has actually experienced life as a man, speak up and object to your stereotype about the greatness of life as a male, then we are apparently painted as enemies.

How about you tell me about your experiences and I tell you about mine?

Because I suspect we are really not that different.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

42. LOL. as a group men do not have these obstacles, individual men may

but as a group they do not

these are not my stereotypes, there are literally hundreds of studies and millions of stats to prove all my assertions right.

but you prove my point well, that men like you are not the norm on du.

[hfojvt]

44. yes, but the funny thing is that

nobody lives as a group

and when you speak about "a group", that is necessarily not true of the whole group.

As for "men like me" whatever that means. No, I am not the norm anywhere, and yes I do challenge the conventional wisdom. I happen to be a blue collar worker in the bottom quintile - not the norm on DU, which is much more white collar and much wealthier. I could laugh about "male privilege" too, if I was in the top 40% instead of the bottom 20%.

I have seen many of those studies, and find them wanting. But most people do not challenge a "study" that tells them what they want to believe.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

45. gender is not the underlying cause of worry, when these things worry men

so for instance, a man might be worried about being promoted to become a manager, but gender will not underly that particular worry usually. when men are in women heavy professions they get promoted faster, when women are in male heavy professions, they get promoted even slower.

do men usually walk in dark allies afraid that they will be molested by women?

yes, people do live as part of groups, and some groups suffer and benefit together.


individual made may have faced some of the worries that women routinely face, but not because of their gender. it is also unlikely to be chronic worries, since chronically being a man, is not a deterrent from career success and things like that.

[hfojvt]

54. the underlying cause does not seem like the issue

If the fear is equal why does it matter what underlies it?

As in, the fear of walking in dark allies

1. a woman might fear being molested

but

2. a man might fear being beaten or killed.

Yeah, sure, men get promoted faster. Riiight. And being a man is not a deterrent to career success. That's why I, with my master's degree, work as a janitor while my supervisor - SHE dropped out of high school. Her supervisor, well SHE decided to pass me over for promotion, twice. Yep, as a man I just move from promotion to promotion. Thank the godess that my gender is not an impediment to promotion, or I might not be in the high status position of janitorial supervisor - the very height of career success.

But I should be thankful I was not born a woman. Just look what one of my classmates posted on facebook. She wrote "I love my family! All of my children are so different, yet all so incredible & unique. Each of my grandchildren are such a blessing in my life. I am so thankful. I have been blessed much more than I ever had the right to be. My friends are true friends. "Love is what you have been through with somebody". A huge thank you to the Powers that be."

Thank goodness I don't have her chronic worries instead of all the benefits of my group. I'd sure hate to be all happy about my grandchildren.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

62. because gender does not oppress men

like color does not oppress whites

or sexuality does not oppress straight people

that is not to say individual people cannot be oppressed but they are not oppressed because of their gender or race or sexual orientation when they belong to the higher status group

[hfojvt]

73. again, that seems like an absurd framework

I guess geneder and race are oppressing Michelle Obama as she gets waited on by servants in the White House, and flown all over the globe without paying a dime in costs.

Meanwhile I have the privilege of not being oppressed by either gender or race as I lug tables and clean toilets.

Yep, I am part of three privileged groups and Michelle is part of two oppressed groups.

But much closer to home, I have not seen gender oppress any of my three sisters. If anything, quite the opposite. My sisters have all done very well, and two of the three never even went to college.

[LiberalLoner]

50. We are not attacking you. We know life sucks for everyone. We are asking you to hear us

And help us if you are ever in a situation where you can. Men have so much power to change the behavior of other men for the better. You have more power than we do in that instance. We are not attacking, we are asking for your help.

And I know life sucks for everyone. I wish it didn't.

[hfojvt]

61. I don't think life sucks for everyone

Not everyone is at the bottom of the pile.

And even at the bottom, it is not THAT bad. Not necessarily.

It is just not a life of privilege to be at the bottom.

I also do not believe I have much power to influence other men. Maybe my little brother, and nephews, but that is about it. Most other men are not all that concerned about the opinion of some pencil-necked geek. Ah, but a woman, especially a halfway decent looking woman? There's somebody whose opinion matters to the average man. I think I have far less power than the average woman in that regard.

[LiberalLoner]

64. Thank you for replying! It really opens my

Eyes to see we both feel so powerless. I understand about that helpless anger when you feel like you don't matter and are invisible.

I've seen men stop other men from doing bad things, just with a few words. That's why we keep bringing this stuff up, we are saying "help."

But I know life is impossibly hard for anyone not rich. My cousin, whom I love dearly, is in prison right now because he stole from his job. And I know why, because he was desperate and couldn't see any other way to live a decent life. I just keep hoping things will get better.

I send him books and money to make his time in prison less awful. All I keep thinking is he never would have turned to crime if he could have found a job with a living wage.

Life really does suck right now. Things need to change, and fast.

[tama]

66. I've seen men stop women from doing bad things, just with a few words.

I live in large working class suburb and there is lot of racist attitudes here. A lonely older lady started to yell racist insults to a group of young Somali girls who were just giggling as girl do while walking. Couple old working class dudes told the lady not to yell at children but to yell at them if she has something to say. She shut up. The mothers of those girls were walking 100 meters behind their girls and saw the situation. Little things like that can matter much and help immigrants to feel at home.

And as for hierarchic power structures, they are just wrong. For everybody. Men and women should not be competing about climbing the hierarchic ladders and blaming their structural frustration on each other, but work together to tear does structures down.

[LiberalLoner]

77. Yup, I've seen plenty of evil women too! I think it takes all of us speaking out when we

see wrongdoing, to make things better. All it takes for evil to win is for good people to do nothing.

I agree with you 100% about hierarchic power structures being 100% wrong. I've believed that all my life. I want better for our world than that. Every person should matter.

[dembotoz]

43. alas---we ARE all in this together

[Scurrilous]

46. K & R

[DevonRex]

47. Yes. Thank you. We know almost all of you here

are supportive of us. And we know that if you don't participate in the threads about volatile topics it may be because you just don't know how to express what you're thinking. But most of the time it's just a no-brainer that you're supportive, so what's to say?

We women react the same way about men's issues. So we get it.

[Agony]

48. Damn Straight! I accept your thanks

because I practice feminism everyday. all modesty aside

It makes me proud that I have had a "coworker" tell me how much it meant to her to hear me tell a "cluster" of male employees that she is my colleague when they asked me about the "new girl" in front of her...

Cheers,
Agony

[seabeyond]

60. yes. that. right there. THAT is all that is being asked.

not such a big deal. good for us. all of us.

[mercuryblues]

63. Thanks

I remember reading an article quite awhile back. This phrase raised one eyebrow:

The men in the office and the girls in the office.

The whole artilcle reeked of sexism. The men had their accomplishments and ideas reported on, the women, their attire and ideas. Subtle.

[Ferretherder]

49. Thank you, La Lioness Priyanka...

...you are VERY kind and considerate for posting this.

...and I think I can say, with some degree of certainty, that I speak for most ALL the men here on DU,... when it comes to the women of the Underground - our friends, our partners,...our EQUALS - if you ever need it, 'we got your back!'

Things can only get better, 'cause, think about it - evolution took care of the neanderthals once, don't worry, it'll happen again!

[RKP5637]

51. Excellent!!! n/t

[DonRedwood]

52. My mama would kick my butt if I didn't treat a woman as an equal

ooh ooh ooh....never cross an angry Irish mama!!!

[Zorra]

53. Very nice, LLP, thank you. nt

[thucythucy]

55. Great post.

Thank you.

[Marrah_G]

56. I would say the vast majority do

There is just a small group that is not who happen to be very loud.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

58. so true.

i would say 15 at most.

[Ohio Joe]

57. K&R - nt

[Aristus]

59. You dang right.

100% supporter of women and their rights. Because, really, how can anyone not be? Anything else is a disavowal of our common humanity.

[daybranch]

67. Our rights too

We have a right to have a wife who exercises free judgement regarding family planning. We have the right to avoid any share of raising the offspring of a rapist when marrying the woman we love. We have a right to a family where we with our wife can afford a better life for our children. we have the right not to watch a daughter struggle to pay for a child the father is unwilling to support. Idonot know if Isaid it so well (do we really have a right to a wife?) but the point is when you hurt our wives,daughters and other females, you hurt us all. Thank you women for your rational choices.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

70. this should be an op

all unto itself

[femrap]

68. And I am proud to be one. nt

[notgoinback]

69. a dozen great guys all in one family...

a jazz musician/student, a free-lance writer, an auto/truck mechanic,
a highway patrolman, a master bricklayer, an EMT, a high school history
teacher, a real estate salesman, a graphic artist, a systems analyst,
an Iraq war veteran and an x-ray technician. What do they have in
common? Love and respect for their wives!

[lovemydog]

71. La Lioness Priyanka - thank you

Thank you for the kind words.

I've evolved a lot and hope I always will.

I've read a lot of recent threads here and just try to absorb and learn. Some of the sarcasm and hostility is a bit overbearing, from different angles.

Much appreciated.

[ashling]

72. Thanks

[Quantess]

74. Agreed. Thank you for posting this.

I know several in real life, too.

[mfcorey1]

76. Thumbs up!

[Liberalynn]

78. Well said and I add my Thanks

[Nye Bevan]

80. Reading the book "The Gift of Fear" helped me understand what it is like for women in society.

http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198

Highly recommended.

[yardwork]

81. kick