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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBorowitz Report- Majority of Americans Prefer Sleeping Trump to Conscious Version
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/FMfcgzGxSlRpHPgfHJvmmlnlrvnDlnGWNEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)In a development that an aide to the presumptive GOP nominee called the best news this campaign has gotten in quite some time, a new poll shows that a majority of likely voters vastly prefer Donald J. Trump when he is asleep to when he is awake.
According to the survey, conducted by the Opinion Research Institute at the University of Minnesota, the conscious version of Trump garners a lowly 41 percent approval rating, in marked contrast with the unconscious versions 98 percent.
When asked to state what they liked most about the slumbering Trump, 72 percent checked Cannot say anything, while a whopping 83 percent ticked Can do no harm.
Carol Foyler, a top Trump campaign aide, said that the numbers suggest we have to do a better job of getting the message out that Donald Trump is asleep most if not all of the day.
We need to showcase Mr. Trump at campaign events where he looks heavy-lidded and, ideally, snores, she said. If, during a debate with Biden, he were to suddenly doze off and face-plant on the podium, that would be huge for us.
The aide said that the poll results would help the Trump campaign fine-tune its electoral strategy, adding, Between now and Election Day, we have to keep Donald Trump on a steady drip of warm milk, chamomile tea, and Ambien.
According to the survey, conducted by the Opinion Research Institute at the University of Minnesota, the conscious version of Trump garners a lowly 41 percent approval rating, in marked contrast with the unconscious versions 98 percent.
When asked to state what they liked most about the slumbering Trump, 72 percent checked Cannot say anything, while a whopping 83 percent ticked Can do no harm.
Carol Foyler, a top Trump campaign aide, said that the numbers suggest we have to do a better job of getting the message out that Donald Trump is asleep most if not all of the day.
We need to showcase Mr. Trump at campaign events where he looks heavy-lidded and, ideally, snores, she said. If, during a debate with Biden, he were to suddenly doze off and face-plant on the podium, that would be huge for us.
The aide said that the poll results would help the Trump campaign fine-tune its electoral strategy, adding, Between now and Election Day, we have to keep Donald Trump on a steady drip of warm milk, chamomile tea, and Ambien.
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Borowitz Report- Majority of Americans Prefer Sleeping Trump to Conscious Version (Original Post)
LetMyPeopleVote
Apr 17
OP
tanyev
(42,634 posts)1. That's not satire, that's absolute truth!
LetMyPeopleVote
(145,635 posts)5. It is very hard to do good satire now days
Hugin
(33,222 posts)2. It's good to see I was with the majority when polled.
Yep, my finger is firmly on the pulse of America. No tone deafness here. No sirrie.
Ping Tung
(723 posts)3. His lawyers are in line with the majority.
LeftInTX
(25,595 posts)4. True!
Rhiannon12866
(206,247 posts)6. LOL! Who doesn't?!
He's not speaking (attacking anyone/lying)!