On remembering the year of a loved one's death... (Biden, Hur, etc.)

[thesquanderer]

Last edited Sun Feb 11, 2024, 01:21 PM - Edit history (1)

I don't know about you all, but I rarely remember any year of a particular event in my life, no matter how major.

Not to equate anything to losing a child, but as many pet owners know, losing a beloved pet can be overwhelming. I've had many pets in my life, and two I've lost were particularly special, one not all that long ago... and off-hand, I couldn't tell you the exact years of either (though the recent one I could at least pretty quickly figure out if I needed to). Without some time for thought (and maybe not even then), I couldn't tell you the exact year of almost anything important that happened in my life... marriage, moving into a house, deaths of close members of the family (including parents), whatever. And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense that our brains might not prioritize such detail, because the exact year something happened is usually not actually particularly useful information. And you don't expect to be quizzed.

I suspect that there are likely huge events in Hur's life that, if quizzed, he could not tell you the year of.

[jrthin]

1. I love my mother more than life itself and I struggle at times

to remember the year she died.

[leftyladyfrommo]

2. I remember the time of year. Both my grandmother

abd my father died at Valentines.

[notinkansas]

3. I could not tell you the dates of my parents' deaths.

It sort of seems like like yesterday - and probably always will - when in fact I know that it was years ago. I think our minds sometimes blur traumatic events.

[Bettie]

4. I seldom remember the year of anything

and am often surprised at how long ago some of that stuff was.

No one has perfect recall of everything and, with regard to Hur's interviews with Biden, they were in the immediate aftermath of 10/7, so he had other things on his mind, I'm thinking.

[Retrograde]

5. I can calculate them if you give me the right calendar

My father died two days after Mother's Day in the year after Loma Prieta. My mother died the Monday after her 90th birthday. My grandmother died on Dec. 24 but I have to think hard about which year.

I wonder if this is why in less literate times people (worldwide, it seems) associated dates with momentous happenings rather than calendar dates.