Even if you suspect you're in danger from a gun owned by a family member,

[no_hypocrisy]

getting assistance can be a challenge.

It was 2013. My widowed father was 90 years old. Partially detached from reality, but not insane. FOX News devotee. And a history of him not liking me -- a lot.

He lived alone in our family home. I finally moved back in to at least prevent a crisis. (He already had set fire to the house 10 years prior.)

One day, my sister found a print-out by his computer of local and regional gun ranges. Dad had been in the Army and knew how to shoot. And he had just returned from driving to and from Florida. (We lived in NJ, where the gun purchase laws are not as permissive as FL.)

I immediately ransacked his room, his closet, his drawers for a hidden gun. I had no reason not to believe he would use it if provoked by fear and/or anger. And at me perhaps. I found nothing.

My siblings and I decided we couldn't engage the Police as he was well known as a community figure, a respected and retired physician. They would give him a pass the way the Fire Dept. gave him a pass when he set the fire.

We also discussed a civil commitment, but Dad had enough residual faculties that would frustrate getting two physicians to sign on.

Plus if we attempted and failed at the Police and/or commitment, he would be provoked, enraged, and would possibly use a firearm that was so well hidden that I missed it.

We were stuck.

So we tiptoed around Dad until he died.

I look back and I can't imagine other options. It was scary and depressing.

[JohnSJ]

1. There are some people who have dementia who can be violent. You did what you could do, which

is a lot better than most in that situation.

[Croney]

2. My friend's husband was a retired detective with a large gun collection.

When he got dementia, he would take out his guns and clean them, over and over. No friends or relatives, especially children, were allowed in the house until he died. A gun is a sad, sorry soulmate.