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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsProud Boy to Be in Prison Until He Is Elderly Boy
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)After receiving a twenty-two-year sentence, a former Proud Boy acknowledged that he will be in prison until he is an Elderly Boy.
Yes, I will eventually be an Elderly Boy, Enrique Tarrio told reporters. However, lets be clear: while we Proud Boys are considering changing the name of our group, Elderly Boys is not one of the options in the mix.
Tarrio said that, because of the behavior of other former Proud Boys at their trials, Despondent Boys, Weepy Boys, and Belatedly Remorseful Boys were all names that the organization was considering.
Weve been holding focus groups, but so far theres been no consensus, he said. We may have to bring McKinsey in on this.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/proud-boy-to-be-in-prison-until-he-is-elderly-boy