No Unreasonable Offer Refused
My Fellow Republicans:
After years of churning out excuses for Trump's statements, actions, and behaviour, the legendary GOP Bullshit-Generating Machine is running out of enough material to continue as a viable tool to counter the attacks on our "pResident".
As you are no doubt aware, the Democrats are using facts, audio-tapes, the testimony of witnesses. etc., to bring Trump down - in other words, there is no low they won't sink to in their quest to hold Donald accountable for his crimes.
If you are a Republican who has any ideas as to what we can do to save Trump and our party from being annihilated by the truth, we are open to any-and-all suggestions, no matter how ludicrous and/or insane.
In addition to the aforementioned, our Propaganda Catapult is showing signs of malfunctioning, and our Spaghetti Spewing Apparatus is missing the wall at an alarming rate.
If you are as bereft of ideas as we are, a large donation of cash would be greatly appreciated, as many of us will need your hard-earned dollars to pay our legal fees in the days to come.
Thanks for your attention to this pressing matter.
Your friendly GOP
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