The con game that is patriarchy.
I always like to start with the definitions, to establish some baseline of shared understanding of meaning:
"Patriarchal" means relating to or characteristic of a patriarch.
"Patriarchy" means a society in which patriarchs exercise power and control.
A "Patriarch" is the male head of a family or tribe.
Those are dictionary definitions. Real-world definitions are looser - a patriarchy is a male-dominated society, or a hierarchy in which power is based on how closely a (male) individual hews to principles of "them as has, gets more."
In America, though, the patriarchy is way more specific. And it's really surprising how many men are excluded from being patriarchs.
You're not a patriarch if your skin isn't white. But you get the "patriarchy consolation prize" of being allowed/encouraged to assume ownership of women who aren't white.
You're not a patriarch if you identify yourself as a man oriented toward loving other men.
You're not a patriarch if your body morphology is based on two XX chromosomes instead of an X and a Y.
And then it gets even weirder.
You're not a patriarch if you're anything other than a Christian (and the definition of "Christian" is getting narrower and weirder by the week, in America....)
You're not a patriarch if you like wearing drag or cross-dressing. (Really...? Wow...)
You're not a patriarch if you have certain conditions like Down's syndrome or cerebral palsy.
Everything so far is a disqualifying condition. Screw you, you'll NEVER be a patriarch, sit down and shut up and eat the scraps you're allowed.
But then we get to the con game.
This is the "potential patriarch" status.
Suppose you're male, with none of the disqualifying conditions above.
Does that automatically make you a patriarch?
Nope.
It DOES make you a "potential patriarch". Theoretically. (The reality is way different. That's the con.)
If you're poor, and you have no disqualifications (see above), you're technically still classed as a potential patriarch. There aren't a lot of benefits other than some basic privileges you'll never even admit to having, and being able to look down on everyone who isn't a patriarch or potential patriarch, but that seems to be enough for a lot of men.
If you're middle class, with no disqualifications, you're classed as a potential patriarch with benefits, woo-woo, mostly, the illusion of some control, and a fuckton of privilege you're probably mostly unaware of until someone suggests you might share it with non-patriarchs, god forbid.
If you're newly-wealthy, with no disqualifications, but you didn't go to the right prep schools or hang with the right patriarch larvae, you're classed as an almost-patriarch, which includes all the benefits of the potential patriarch with benefits, PLUS the right to look down all the potential patriarchs. You can also hang in the patriarchy clubhouse bar, though you'll never get to the penthouse, bro. Still, you've got an awful lot of people to look down on, so that's cool.
Those three groups are the marks for the Big Con. The power and control of the real patriarchs, that tiny minority of hereditarily-wealthy, well-connected white males, depends entirely on those three groups buying wholeheartedly into the patriarchy model and resisting change with all their resources.
Which the men in those three groups are thrilled to do, not necessarily because they ever think they'll get to the clubhouse penthouse, but because it puts them so far above all the people disqualified from the clubhouse altogether: the majority of humankind.
Oh, yeah. There's ONE MORE disqualifying condition that'll knock you out of all the patriarchy privileges:
If you're a white male actively working to bring down the patriarchy itself.
If you're one of those, thanks. And stay out of small planes.
philosophically,
Bright
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