Some AWESOME reasons to vote Republican
1. You've ever wondered what the Iron Age would look like if everyone had nukes and assault rifles? Vote Republican.
2. You think women are just incubators for fetuses? Vote Republican.
3. Come on, it's called the JUST-WORLD HYPOTHESIS, women don't get pregnant unless they are legitimately raped and nobody lost a job through no fault of their own, you either agree with that or you are a socialist, right? vote Republican.
4. BURN THE SAFETY NET! CUT IT TO RIBBONS! SLASH IT! KILL IT! EAT IT! Oh, and vote Republican.
5. You've seen the future and you KNOW that you will never need social security, medicare, unemployment insurance, etc. The psychic hotline called you and told you this, just like how they told you to vote Republican.
6. God what is with these liberals and their support for food stamps? It's like they think people need to eat or something. What next? Are they going to think food grows on trees? Ha! Vote Republican.
7. Oh my God, it's the Atheists/Feminists/Gays/Muslims/etc. We need to vote against them or... or... one of them could become your neighbors or even... your boss! Vote Republican.
8. Save pre-existing conditions! Vote Republican.
9. Obama's coming to take your guns. Remember how we told you that four years ago? Well, he is. Vote Republican.
10. Tax cuts and deregulation will work this time. We promise. Vote Republican.
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