Breaking: Rush Limbaugh Cannot Find Penis - Blames Feminists

[MineralMan]

Admitting defeat, the portly radio commentator, frustrated by the fact that he has not seen his own penis for some years, blames feminazis, and claims that penis sizes in men have shrunk 10%. His own, however, is not to be found, so he seems to have experienced additional shrinkage.

Experts have been called in to search for Limbaugh's missing member. One can only hope they do not succumb to the toxic hazards of the local environment where it might be.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/09/20/limbaugh-penises-now-10-percent-smaller-and-shrinking-because-of-feminazis/

[MrScorpio]

1. If it wasn't for dickless here… Is this true?

Yes sir, this man has no dick.

[rateyes]

2. He actually lost his penis

in the Dominican Republic

[muntrv]

3. Rush needs tweezers to find his cock.

[TheCowsCameHome]

4. Try using a mirror, OxyBoy

You'll never see it without one.

[Canuckistanian]

5. He himself lowered that average

Yes, it's so small that he skews that statistic....

[left on green only]

6. The fact that he is even talking about it.......

.....must be an indication that it is a matter that is close to his heart......er ah.

Actually, I have contended for years that his entire schtik is a pathetic attempt used by him to compensate for the miniscule size of his member (ie: intellect). Male ego is indeed a powerful motivator.

Upon edit to add: But perhaps this is not the most appropriate topic for discussion in a mixed forum.

[AnotherDreamWeaver]

7. Why not mention female like hormones from plastic water bottles?

Fish seem to be going through strange changes due to pollution of their water.

[Honeycombe8]

8. It's probably hidden by his Buddha like belly bulging over his belt. nt

[Chorophyll]

9. It's like he WANTS to be mocked.

Sorry excuse for a waste of space.

[left on green only]

12. I was thinking the same thing myself.......

Surely Mr. Limpdick, even in his normal state of diminished intellect, is smart enough to see what the outcome of making such a rant as this would do to "expose" himself. My only explanation is that he is an attention junkie, and that he did it for the media exposure that he knew it would bring.

[zbdent]

10. show him a picture of a naked 8 year old boy ...

he'll find it again ...

[Initech]

11. TMI TMI

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s15e04-tmi

[porphyrian]

13. . n/t

[silvershadow]

14. And all this time I thought it was that cyst keeping him from fathering children. Who knew? lol

[Cerridwen]

16. I always thought it was his wives. n/t

[rrneck]

15. It's under his hat. nt

[AverageJoe90]

17. This sounds like something that'd be written in "The Onion". xD

[musette_sf]

18. Rush can't find it without