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Rhiannon12866

(205,320 posts)
Mon Jun 29, 2020, 05:30 PM Jun 2020

Trump to Retaliate Against Russia by Sending Jared Kushner to Advise Kremlin on Coronavirus Response

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an act of retaliation against the Russians for sponsoring Taliban attacks on U.S. troops in Afghanistan, Donald J. Trump is sending Jared Kushner to the Kremlin to offer advice on its coronavirus response, the White House confirmed on Monday.

“To all those who thought that this President was not taking the Russians’ actions seriously, this response should speak for itself,” the White House press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, said. “The President had an array of responses to choose from, and the one he selected is by far the most punishing.”

According to White House insiders, Trump and his advisers debated the response to the Russians for hours before finally settling on the Kushner option late Sunday night.

“Jared Kushner is the most brutal weapon in our arsenal, and deploying him is a decision that no one should ever take lightly,” one adviser said.

McEnany indicated that Kushner will be dispatched to the Kremlin by Monday afternoon and will start advising the Kremlin on ventilators, personal protective equipment, and other coronavirus-related matters as early as Tuesday.

“He will bring Russia to its knees,” she said.

Many in Washington were surprised by the severity of Trump’s retaliation against the Russians, including the esteemed virologist Dr. Anthony Fauci.

“I know that the Russians are our enemies, but I’m still not sure I would wish Jared Kushner on them,” he said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-to-retaliate-against-russia-by-sending-jared-kushner-to-advise-kremlin-on-coronavirus-response

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Trump to Retaliate Against Russia by Sending Jared Kushner to Advise Kremlin on Coronavirus Response (Original Post) Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 OP
Ah, if only this were true... Starfury Jun 2020 #1
Well, he's been tasked with doing everything else that's expected, why not this?? Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 #3
A gem!❤ Karadeniz Jun 2020 #2
lol. send along "15 million jobs created" Ivanka also Demovictory9 Jun 2020 #4
Oh, but to be a fly on the wall when Andy Borowitz is brainstorming Brother Buzz Jun 2020 #5
There is so much he has to choose from, it must be tough for him to keep up! Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 #6
I'd love to read what ends up on the floor Brother Buzz Jun 2020 #7
The way things have been going lately, he could come up with the satire of the hour! Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 #8
He is going to Jared? Jared is a weapon? imanamerican63 Jun 2020 #9
That might actually be a war crime. BSdetect Jun 2020 #10

Rhiannon12866

(205,320 posts)
3. Well, he's been tasked with doing everything else that's expected, why not this??
Tue Jun 30, 2020, 03:13 AM
Jun 2020

I wouldn't put anything past Trump.

Rhiannon12866

(205,320 posts)
6. There is so much he has to choose from, it must be tough for him to keep up!
Tue Jun 30, 2020, 04:12 AM
Jun 2020

On the other hand, the toughest part has to be making sure that it's satirical enough so it won't be read as news...

imanamerican63

(13,787 posts)
9. He is going to Jared? Jared is a weapon?
Tue Jun 30, 2020, 12:15 PM
Jun 2020

How fitting? NOT! Where is Pompous Pompeo? This is a disaster within a cluster F___k!

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