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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAngela Merkel Practices Social Distancing by Staying Four Thousand Miles Away from Trump
BERLIN (The Borowitz Report)In an effort to practice social distancing, the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is staying four thousand miles away from Donald Trump, Merkel has confirmed.
Merkels decision to decline Trumps invitation to a possible meeting of the G-7 in Washington was based entirely on science, Merkel told reporters.
Epidemiologists have recommended that, in order to be safe, one should social-distance by six feet, she said. It only stands to reason that I will be even safer if I social-distance by twenty-one million feet.
Merkel said that she was taking the extremely cautious social-distancing measures regarding Trump because of the danger posed by being in proximity to someone who speaks so loudly and incessantly.
His mouth is like a firehose of droplets, she said, shuddering.
Asked whether she would reconsider a White House visit if Trump agreed to wear a mask, she said, Donald Trump with a mask is clearly a big improvement over Donald Trump without a mask, but no.
The German leader added that she could envision making a trip to the Oval Office if events on the ground change, most likely in January of 2021.
Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/angela-merkel-practices-social-distancing-by-staying-four-thousand-miles-away-from-trump
Photograph by Peter Nicholls / EPE-EFE / Shutterstock
greyl
(22,990 posts)sheshe2
(83,138 posts)It really is the cold hard truth.
I love Angela Merkel.
Ohiya
(2,200 posts)Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)Rhiannon12866
(202,211 posts)Lock him up.
(6,861 posts)Rhiannon12866
(202,211 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)If only we could all get that far away from him.
malaise
(267,464 posts)Rhiannon12866
(202,211 posts)She's a leader and he is not!
Hermit-The-Prog
(32,894 posts)Note Merkel's reaction in the last frame of this: