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Sun May 31, 2020, 12:07 AM

Angela Merkel Practices Social Distancing by Staying Four Thousand Miles Away from Trump

BERLIN (The Borowitz Report)—In an effort to practice social distancing, the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is staying four thousand miles away from Donald Trump, Merkel has confirmed.

Merkel’s decision to decline Trump’s invitation to a possible meeting of the G-7 in Washington was based “entirely on science,” Merkel told reporters.

“Epidemiologists have recommended that, in order to be safe, one should social-distance by six feet,” she said. “It only stands to reason that I will be even safer if I social-distance by twenty-one million feet.”

Merkel said that she was taking the extremely cautious social-distancing measures regarding Trump because of “the danger posed by being in proximity to someone who speaks so loudly and incessantly.”

“His mouth is like a firehose of droplets,” she said, shuddering.

Asked whether she would reconsider a White House visit if Trump agreed to wear a mask, she said, “Donald Trump with a mask is clearly a big improvement over Donald Trump without a mask, but no.”

The German leader added that she could envision making a trip to the Oval Office if “events on the ground change,” most likely in January of 2021.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/angela-merkel-practices-social-distancing-by-staying-four-thousand-miles-away-from-trump



Photograph by Peter Nicholls / EPE-EFE / Shutterstock

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Reply Angela Merkel Practices Social Distancing by Staying Four Thousand Miles Away from Trump (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 May 31 OP
greyl May 31 #1
sheshe2 May 31 #2
Ohiya May 31 #3
Jamastiene May 31 #4
Rhiannon12866 May 31 #5
Lock him up. May 31 #6
Rhiannon12866 May 31 #8
smirkymonkey May 31 #7
malaise May 31 #9
Rhiannon12866 May 31 #10
Hermit-The-Prog May 31 #11

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:07 AM

1. Reccing for the headline. nt

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:10 AM

2. This isn't humor.

It really is the cold hard truth.

I love Angela Merkel.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:14 AM

3. A safe distance from Dump is measured in parsecs, not miles. nt

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:14 AM

4. I wish I could be that far from him too.

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Response to Jamastiene (Reply #4)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:50 AM

5. You're not the only one!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 12:56 AM

6. She's the leader of the G6 now. n/t

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Response to Lock him up. (Reply #6)

Sun May 31, 2020, 06:03 AM

8. Since he intends to invite Russia which was suspended in 2014, the other countries may well follow

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 01:14 AM

7. She is a very wise woman.

If only we could all get that far away from him.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 06:07 AM

9. And so say all of us

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Response to malaise (Reply #9)

Sun May 31, 2020, 06:12 AM

10. Let's hope that this catches on internationally!

She's a leader and he is not!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Sun May 31, 2020, 08:05 AM

11. We would all like to get far from the clown ...





Note Merkel's reaction in the last frame of this:

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