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Tue May 26, 2020, 01:25 AM

Trump Blames Plummeting Poll Numbers on People Paying Attention When He Talks

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “disgraceful situation,” Donald J. Trump on Monday blamed his sinking poll numbers on people paying attention when he talks.

Noting that his approval rating has plummeted since he began holding coronavirus briefings, he said, “There are a lot of people out there who are listening to things I say and basing their opinions on them, and I think it’s very sad.”

In addition to people paying attention when he talks, Trump said that he was being “treated very unfairly by people who remember what I say.”

“People are listening to what I say one day and comparing it to something I said on a different day,” he said. “These are very sick and terrible people.”

Trump also lashed out at the pollsters themselves, who, he alleged, are “doing a hit job on me” by seeking the opinions of people who listened to things he said.

“The fact that they’re talking to people who have listened to me proves how crooked and rigged these polls are,” he said. “People who haven’t listened to me think I’m doing great.”

Trump said that, if people persist in listening to him, he may stop talking altogether. “I think that’s a really good plan,” Trump said. “Dr. Fauci suggested it to me.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-blames-plummeting-poll-numbers-on-people-paying-attention-when-he-talks



Photograph by Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

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Reply Trump Blames Plummeting Poll Numbers on People Paying Attention When He Talks (Original post)
Rhiannon12866 May 2020 OP
smirkymonkey May 2020 #1
Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #2
UTUSN May 2020 #3
Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #4
Hortensis May 2020 #5
Maeve May 2020 #6
Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #7

Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue May 26, 2020, 01:50 AM

1. K&R



This is hilarious! I love Andy Borowitz!

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Response to smirkymonkey (Reply #1)

Tue May 26, 2020, 02:03 AM

2. He really is the best - truthful and funny!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue May 26, 2020, 02:36 AM

3. AWwww, didn't spot the BOROWITZ this time!1

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Response to UTUSN (Reply #3)

Tue May 26, 2020, 02:38 AM

4. LOL!

I thought this one was kinda obvious, but you just showed how good he is!

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue May 26, 2020, 03:56 AM

5. A self-aware Trump?! Borowitz finally finds a way to satirize

the orange pathology that isn't actually just describing reality.

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Response to Rhiannon12866 (Original post)

Tue May 26, 2020, 06:31 AM

6. It's funny because it's so damned true!

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Response to Maeve (Reply #6)

Tue May 26, 2020, 06:35 AM

7. I know!

Borowitz has gotten Trump logic down perfectly!

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