The Passwords He Carried

[babylonsister]

I need to do this for myself. You never know.


The Passwords He Carried
I had to get my father’s affairs in order. You do too.
Clara Jeffery
March 27, 2020

snip//

Historian Clint Smith has written eloquently about the need to interview elders, before it’s too late. Please do that. Record Zoom conversations where you ask them about family lore. And schedule and record the conversations with the grandkids, too. Be your own StoryCorps.

But I’m here to talk about the practical stuff. And this is what you need to think about.

Even if they’re safely sheltering in place, you should know the names and contact numbers of any doctors they currently see. What conditions do they have? What kinds of medications do they take, how often at what dosage, and which doctor prescribes and which pharmacy fills them? What is their Social Security number? Their VA number? Their date of birth? Where are their driver’s license and passport?

Ideally, they have a living will, which helps ease probate backlog and costs and also is a process that makes you think through a lot of end-of-life issues. But most people don’t. Do they at least have an ordinary will and an advance medical directive? If so, where are they? Particularly with the directive, get a copy; keep a copy in your phone. If the answer to either is no, you can help them use various online tools to do the basics. Here are the state-by-state requirements; here’s a general guide. A video recording of them reading their will can’t hurt, especially in the few states that still require wills be notarized. Do they have a medical power of attorney—which basically empowers family members to make decisions when they can’t? Many services offer ways to do that; here’s one. In addition to their spouse or partner, should children or other family members be added to make those decisions? (Yes.) Keep that in your phone, too.

What are their wishes regarding burial and cremation or anything of that nature, recognizing that funeral rites might be delayed indefinitely? Who are their best friends and others to keep apprised or notified after death? How do you contact them?

Which bank do they use? Which mortgage company? What bills are on autopay? What bills are paid by mail? Where is the checkbook? Is there more than one? What kind of life or long-term care or any other kind of insurance do they have? Is there a safety deposit box? Where? Is the deed to the house in it? What about the car title? What else is in it? Where are the keys?

You need account numbers and passwords for everything. EVERYTHING. Bank accounts and all the stuff I just listed. But also things you might not think about, like places where precious family photos might be: Facebook, iPhoto, any other services they use (and grandparents tend to use a lot). If you have very online parents, what are the passwords to things like Twitter? You’ll want to decide whether or not to delete accounts after you’ve scraped for photos, and you won’t have that choice without passwords.

more...

https://www.motherjones.com/coronavirus-updates/2020/03/end-of-life-planning-coronavirus-parents/

[BigmanPigman]

1. Great info!

I had to do all of this for myself and it took longer than you'd think it would take.

[drray23]

2. I use a password vault called dashlane

You can set it up to allow another person to log into it if you die. The company , once they know you died (if you dont log for a certain amount of time, they will try to contact you. If they fail, they assume you are dead and will contact that person and they will be granted access.

[csziggy]

3. That was one thing I liked when I wrote my will with Quicken WillMaker

Part of the paperwork the program has is a checklist that includes all that information that executors and caretakers need - even more than is listed in that article.

While my affairs have gotten more complicated, I might still use that portion to update that part periodically. It's very handy to organize it all in one place.

Heck, If I died today, my husband would not even know the passwords for the various streaming services!

[Sherman A1]

4. I recommend a book

called "Before It's Too Late" you can find it from Amazon or directly from the publisher.

It's a work book that we should all have filled out and let the person who will need the information know where it is.

[babylonsister]

6. This sounds very useful, thanks! nt

[Sherman A1]

7. It is and I need to get my book reviewed and updated this week

One needs to be prepared for the worst in these coming days.

[a kennedy]

8. Thanks for this info........even hate to think about it, but, it is so important.

[Sherman A1]

9. It very much is so and you will make the life of the person who has to deal with the

stuff after you are gone, that much easier.

[babylonsister]

14. I looked this up...

https://www.amazon.com/Before-Its-Too-Late-Unprepared/dp/096570162X/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=before+it%27s+too+late&qid=1585581468&sr=8-6


Before It's Too Late - Don't Leave Your Loved Ones Unprepared Spiral-bound – March 21, 2008
by Emily Oishi (Author), Sue Thompson (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars 34 ratings

Spiral-bound
from $885.00
2 Used from $885.00 1 New from $889.00

[Sherman A1]

15. Wow!

I think I paid about $25.00 for my copy.

[malaise]

5. Must Read

Organize all documents and passwords

Get thee to the greatest page

[Drum]

10. Agreed 100%

I + my Sisters were confronted with all of this years ago when my father passed away. This piece contains sage advice that’s I’d recommend all to keep in mind. Ask questions, prepare a few clues....

[central scrutinizer]

11. When my wife died

Three years ago, I realized how important this information was. I wrote up a document titled, “upon my death” with all account numbers, phone numbers, passwords, location of the fireproof box with my will, burial plot info., etc. that my daughter and sole heir will need. Every time I update it, I email her a new copy. She is very thankful. Do your family a huge favor and do something like this.

[2naSalit]

12. Was just talking with my sister earlier

today about our info, which we have updated. The thing is that our 90+ mom is not well, is in a nursing facility, doesn't know where she is... This sister is executor of the estate, but what if something happens to her? so we were talking about who, of her kids and a nephew, who would take over for her regarding our mom's fate if she should live long enough to survive this.

What a mess.

[Control-Z]

13. K&R & Bookmarking this OP.

Thank you for posting, babylonsister!

Stay well!