General Discussion

imblue

(23 posts) Sat Mar 28, 2020, 11:22 AM Mar 2020

Is he dead yet?

IS HE DEAD YET? A PLAY IN TWO ACTS
By IM BLUE
Act I
Stage is a podium in the White house. At the podium is King Donald Trump. At his side are Jared Kushner and Vice King Pence.
ANNOUNCER: All rise for an address by King Donald Trump Moron the First.
TRUMP: My fellow Americans, at least the people who are Americans, and we know millions of people are not Americans but rapists and drug dealers who came to the America I made great again before the big beautiful wall went up at the border.
KUSHNER: Right on Pops.
TRUMP: I am here today with my son-in-law Jared Kushner, who I did not meet until we were eating hamberders and flinch fries at the same table. I didn’t even know I had a son-in-law until then.
KUSHNER: Right on Pops.
TRUMP: So I found out Jared is an expert scholar in all fields of science and about his wisdom that is so bigly and we talked about how he could help me find a cure for this awful Covfefe 19th Hole. And we figured it out in the kitchen at the White House. This is a breakthrough so big and so beautiful like you know how some of the great inventors like Alfred Einstein and Thomas Addison and how they lived in this country that was not great until I got to be King and now it is bigger and more better than ever in history even back when the air force bombed the dinosaurs in the 1800’s.
KUSHNER: Right on Pops.
Short pause: Camera scans the audience of reporters who are so in awe they are speechless. More speechless than any reporters ever in history. More speechless even than when they were in awe of the alternate facts of the inauguration.
Sound effect: Very loud elephant-like thud. Camera focuses on King Trump who lies motionless on the floor.
KUSHNER: Right on Pops. I am here to save you bigly.
PENCE: No, let me. I am the Assistant King. It is my job to save the man who made American great again. I may be dying from Covfefe 19th Hole but I will save this man. Oh my god I feel faint.
Act II NANCY PELOSI: I, Nancy Patricia Pelosi, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. . . . . . . .
THE END