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TygrBright

(20,733 posts)
Fri Jan 3, 2020, 07:10 PM Jan 2020

No One's Listening

Okay, that's (maybe) an exaggeration. A little hyperbole.

A very little, as I realized today when helping a colleague find an illustration for an article on communications.

I showed him how to go to one of many excellent royalty-free image websites online, and suggested he search on the term "listening".

You might guess what happened.

Or maybe not: The search results returned multiple pages showing image after image after image after image of people wearing ear buds or headphones, holding phones or iPods or with other playback devices.

Individually, or sitting next to one another with matching headphones, clearly sharing some lovely playback experience, how nice. One showed a whole family watching a giant-screen teevee, all wearing headphones.

Oh, yeah... there were a few pics in there of audiences listening to a speaker or music performance.

About two pages in we actually got a suitable photograph of two people in conversation, one person talking, the other focusing on the talker's face, with an expression that seemed to indicate engagement or interest.

It was definitely one of those things that made me, anyway, go "Hmmmmm...."

And the corollary thought that popped into my mind underlined it further:

When was the last time I had a real conversation via phone?

Probably more recently than many people, as my stupid phone doesn't allow texting, and many family members live in other states. They know if they want to communicate, they have to actually ::groan:: make a voice call or ::groan:: actually write an email.

Even so, I can count the number of longer-than-ten-minutes live voice-to-voice phone conversations I had over the holidays on the fingers of one hand.

I used to have huge long distance bills, and not count the cost, because I loved staying in touch, hearing peoples' feelings in their voices, laughing together, all the the interactions that depend not on reading and typing, but on listening. And being listened to.

I know from work in the human services that listening is immensely powerful in forming human connections. And that human connections are immensely powerful in creating and sustaining communities.

Is anyone listening anymore?

curiously,
Bright

5 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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No One's Listening (Original Post) TygrBright Jan 2020 OP
coffee joints are useless to find a chat. they all wanking their phones lol nt msongs Jan 2020 #1
And the spaces themselves are no longer inviting. LisaM Jan 2020 #3
Nope. They're not listening. Or looking. Even my older friends text. live love laugh Jan 2020 #2
Thankfully, I have a friend in prison..... Arthur_Frain Jan 2020 #4
The older I get the babylonsister Jan 2020 #5

LisaM

(27,758 posts)
3. And the spaces themselves are no longer inviting.
Fri Jan 3, 2020, 07:21 PM
Jan 2020

No couches, high, long tables with metal chairs or stools, no carpeting, and freezing cold temperatures. Even if I found someone to talk to, who wants to hang out in a place like that?

live love laugh

(12,995 posts)
2. Nope. They're not listening. Or looking. Even my older friends text.
Fri Jan 3, 2020, 07:21 PM
Jan 2020


I’m older too and very glad that I grew up when people were engaged and talked to one another. I always say that many have probably let the love of their lives walk by while their heads were buried in a cell phone screen.

Arthur_Frain

(1,783 posts)
4. Thankfully, I have a friend in prison.....
Fri Jan 3, 2020, 07:36 PM
Jan 2020

wait, that didn’t come out right at all. What I meant to say is that I have a friend in the clink that I try to stay in touch with, and I’ve become reacquainted with the anachronism that is “the letter”. An actual physical letter, written by hand, not typed out on a word processor that suggests links, not even on a typewriter. I began to write more letters, for no reason at all. I find I prefer them.

I guess I’m the anachronism. I think this all began when people began to include a copied page that summarized what they did all year long, sometimes including pictures, and then inserting it into a signed Christmas card. I objected. I still write out by hand all of my Christmas cards. Or I don’t send them.

All of which is part of a generation that existed before twitter, facebook, texts, blogs, emails, 24/7 exposure to news and media, etc. A generation that still remembers how to listen, how to communicate in complete sentences without resorting to emojis. Technology hasn’t been much of a friend to our attention spans.

babylonsister

(170,957 posts)
5. The older I get the
Fri Jan 3, 2020, 07:53 PM
Jan 2020

less I like people in general. I too was on the phone a lot decades ago. Now I don't enjoy it as much.

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