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Rhiannon12866

(202,970 posts)
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 06:26 AM Nov 2019

Republicans Demand That Everyone in Witness-Protection Program Appear on National TV

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that “enough is enough,” congressional Republicans demanded on Monday that the thousands of people in the nation’s witness-protection program be required to appear on national television.

“What kind of a country protects someone’s identity just because they were instrumental in bringing a criminal to justice?” Representative Jim Jordan, of Ohio, asked. “I don’t want to live in a country like that.”

Representative Devin Nunes, of California, concurred. “Anonymity is all well and good, but we should be able to look at these people and know their names,” he said.

At the United States Senate, Lindsey Graham told reporters that “it’s time for people in the witness-protection program to put up or shut up.”

“I want these people to go on TV and say what they have to say, and then I fully intend not to listen to them,” the senator said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-demand-that-everyone-in-witness-protection-program-appear-on-national-tv

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Republicans Demand That Everyone in Witness-Protection Program Appear on National TV (Original Post) Rhiannon12866 Nov 2019 OP
I hope when these republicans are indicted duforsure Nov 2019 #1
I was about to say the same thing... OldBaldy1701E Nov 2019 #3
Makes sense, since Scarsdale Nov 2019 #2
The worst part is skydive forever Nov 2019 #4
Strange, me too. 😣 Duppers Nov 2019 #5
I know! These days it's really tough to tell... Rhiannon12866 Nov 2019 #10
Relax friends, it's Borowitz! FakeNoose Nov 2019 #6
I always have to check to see if it's Borowitz when I seen one of these outrageous headlines. Liberal In Texas Nov 2019 #7
Pro-Life my a$$ ... aggiesal Nov 2019 #8
I love how Borowitz skewers the Republicans, crickets Nov 2019 #9

duforsure

(11,882 posts)
1. I hope when these republicans are indicted
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 06:47 AM
Nov 2019

They are filmed and shown in handcuffs being walked away on tv everywhere.

OldBaldy1701E

(4,968 posts)
3. I was about to say the same thing...
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:29 AM
Nov 2019

Personally, I want them to be shown on every channel, as they perp walk to ail, I want their faces plastered on the screen for weeks. I wish they would parade them down the street so they can see how it feels to be the ones under the boot for a change. (Since I doubt these rethugs gave a crap about anyone but themselves, why not give a little bit of an object lesson?)

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
2. Makes sense, since
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:01 AM
Nov 2019

every member of the gop is in the WITLESS protection program. Who the hell votes for these idiots? I know this is satire, but some of the statements are true. Graham has said he will not read the reports. Isn't that part of his "job"? Well, that plus appearing on TV often, ranting like a rabid badger.

skydive forever

(443 posts)
4. The worst part is
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 07:57 AM
Nov 2019

I had to click on the link to make sure that it is satire. That's how upside down the world is right now.

Liberal In Texas

(13,453 posts)
7. I always have to check to see if it's Borowitz when I seen one of these outrageous headlines.
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 08:32 AM
Nov 2019

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't.

crickets

(25,896 posts)
9. I love how Borowitz skewers the Republicans,
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 09:21 AM
Nov 2019

using essentially their own words to show how petty and silly they are.

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