Funny TripAdvisor review for Trump Doral

[EveHammond13]

I was here for a business trip with an extra spa day. The grounds (lovely) are very spread out and you will pay extra for parking and just about everything else! Water, fees, tips, etc. So even if you get a great room rate, everything else will add up. Even golf carts to get around $$.

Decor: I found the overall vibe tacky, very Dynasty style, a bit worn out, lots of throw pillows, lots of gold. The linens were not luxe, this is not a chic place. The room was a bit musty. People who have never stayed anyplace nice might think this is true luxury, but it is not a true 5-star, not even really a 4-star. This is not the Mandarin. Paper cups abound.

No serenity: Our room in the Tiger Woods !! Villa was NOT quiet. Thin walls. Worst of all, the entire property is in the flightpath of the airport, so the noise is fairly constant. No sleeping in.

Overall: The location is isolated, so if not here for golf it's a bit of a waste. The mediocre quality of the food, the spa, and the rooms do not make up for location. The staff tried hard but were not overly professional. Again, this is not really a luxury resort. Hospitality is an art, and I don't think anyone in the Trump family has mastered it. Go elsewhere.

Another

This place is like what a child with no sense of taste would create to make something seem nice. There is only so much you can polish a turd. The staff, while seemingly nice people, don’t give the impression they are happy to work there. The place is in need of a major renovation before I would recommend it.

John Barron?

The only hotel I will book in Miami. Service is consistently 5 Star, I book this hotel for business as well as personal. At least 12 times per year. From the bell staff (especially Pensy) to the check in staff, to the food and beverage staff in both restaraunts, service is perfect. From name recognition to my food preferences, etc., always so friendly and accomodating LK/Naples, FL

[ecstatic]

1. Definitely John Barron (or Barron Jr?)

[smirkymonkey]

2. K&R

What would you expect from the Trumps?

They are the tackiest, most vulgar family in the world and probably skimp on everything, including what they pay their staff. How they have managed to associate their name with luxury is a mystery to me.

[BigMin28]

3. The last review is definitely Donalrhea

The dead give away was the service was "perfect." There's that word that tells you it's a lie, and it's him lying.

[Lisa0825]

4. Seems a bit too literate to be him. He probably told a staffer to post it for him. nt

[dalton99a]

5. Name recognition here means they know I am the owner

[Gidney N Cloyd]

6. I couldn't NOT read it in his voice.

[EveHammond13]

7. Donalrhea!

[yortsed snacilbuper]

8. Sleep tight,

don't let the bedbugs bight!

[rusty quoin]

9. Trump selling shit his whole life is not a good businessman.

[trueblue2007]

10. The Doral is In bad shape

The Doral is In bad shape
"I really love a good hotel and this one just isn’t as good as in the past. Everything seemed worn and dirty. Certainly not what we expected. Our room had hair in the bathroom sink and bed sheets had holes. They did come in and change the sheets and clean the bathroom but it took hours and made me think the rest of the room was yucky too. This hotel is not what it was in the past and clearly needs some deep cleaning. When I stay at a hotel the last thing I want is a dirty room. I will not go back."


Just OK, not GREAT
"I'm a hardworking, former blue-collar worker that has moved into upper management in a large aerospace company and my husband is retired. We've worked very hard to get ahead and we expect a lot for our money. I don't care much about a man or companies politics, give me value for my dollar.

We've recently relocated to Florida and were headed to Miami to watch our beloved Dodgers play the Miami Marlins. We researched hotels in the area and found a great deal at the Trump National Doral; suite with parking included for less than $300 per night! When we called to make the reservation we were told that the parking was for valet, but did not include the resort fee.
On check-in we were told the cost only included self parking. We recounted our conversation with the booking agent and the front desk person, Luis, asked management if we could utilize valet at the $10 per day cost difference between valet & self park. As it was a torrential downpour when we checked in we agreed to this up-charge. Not happy, but OK, not going to let it mess up our 2-day visit.

As the Dodgers were in town for a 3-game set, we intended to watch the game on hotel arrival night from the bar/casual dining restaurant. Before we made our reservations, we spoke to to the maître d' and confirmed we'd be able to watch the game. Upon arrival in the bar/casual dining restaurant we asked them to put on the game....low & behold, no game as they don't have the MLB package and the game was not being televised on the local TV station. Unbelievable! Another thing that was told to us over the phone that was incorrect.

We had decided on the bar/casual dining restaurant "The Champions Bar & Grill" for dinner. Once again we checked before w made a reservation, and were told on the phone their steakhouse, "BLT Prime" required a sportcoat for men and smart casual for women. Because we didn't want to pack many clothes for a 2 day visit, we had decided on Champions for dinner. Imagine our surprise as we walked by BLT Prime after our dinner at Champions and saw everyone in BLT Prime, less 1 man, was wearing golf shirts and sports team jerseys. Unbelievable; do the employees that work there just tell people on the phone whatever they think we want to hear to get us in the door?

Lastly and by far the most important! When I returned home I found my credit card number had been compromised. I used it 2 place on the trip.......Trump National Doral and a gas station. I always check gas station pumps for skimmers before I pump my gas, and none was found. I cannot 100% guarantee this is where my card was compromised, but seems awfully suspicious and is the final straw to make me say, I'll never stay at the Trump National Doral again."

[EveHammond13]

11. WOMP WOMP

[RainCaster]

13. So much winning

[orleans]

12. oh looky looky -- they're hiring!

112 job openings in various cities
oh great!

i clicked on bellman
"First Aid & CPR certification desired."

(i imagine every trump job says that!)

only 40 jobs at doral! get them while they're hot!

doral housekeeping runner (whatever that is)
"We will pay you $10.80 per hour and offer you a competitive benefits package which includes healthcare plans, dental, vision, company paid Short -Term and Long-Term disability, life insurance, a matching 4.5% 401K plan and many more property perks. Additionally, we offer an exclusive Associate/ Friends and Family Travel program. All of our associates are entitled to free on-site parking as well as golf. "
https://chm.tbe.taleo.net/chm04/ats/careers/requisition.jsp?org=TRUMHOTE&cws=1&rid=3593


https://chm.tbe.taleo.net/chm04/ats/careers/searchResults.jsp?org=TRUMHOTE&cws=1


never looked at any of his shit before. (kinda made me feel dirty--but for $7,189 per night--or ten dollars more and i get breakfast for 2!--i can sleep in the presidential suite, perhaps in the same bed *he* sleeps in, write a suicide letter at a desk, and then club myself over the head with one of the nightstand lamps)

sounds dreamy, don't it?

[EveHammond13]

17. two words comes to mind: shit hole

[Totally Tunsie]

19. It's hard to believe Chump allows the "riff-raff" onto his golf courses to play.

I wonder if that's how he makes the place appear busy? Or are they allowed to play only on rainy Tuesdays in June/July?

[rpannier]

14. From the bell staff (especially Pensy)

Now I know what Pence is doing when he's not in DC
He's bell staff

[EveHammond13]

18. I wonder if this is a coded message from trump to someone he is banging

[Hekate]

15. Guest #3 writes exactly the way Trump tweets!

[Vogon_Glory]

16. Meanwhile In Some Alternate Universe

Democrats and Progressives are struggling to oust President JW Marriott from the Oval Office but are forced to concede that HE runs HIS resorts properly,

——


I am increasingly convinced that we live in some other universe’s dystopic television series.