Breaking: New site for 2020 G-7 summit announced
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- After days of debate and an irate retraction by President Trump, the site of the 2020 meeting of the leaders of the world's seven most powerful nations, also known as the Group of Seven or G-7, has been released by the White House Office of Protocol.
"It's going to be held in the lunchroom at the United States Penitentiary, Terre Haute, Indiana," said a spokesperson who wishes to remain anonymous for his or her own safety.
When asked why they would choose to hold an important meeting at a prison, the spokesperson shrugged the spokesperson's shoulders. "President Trump really, really wanted to attend the G-7 Summit next year...and that's where he's gonna be. So, why not?"
The rest of the leaders of the Group of Seven have already expressed their approval. "Of course we'll all be there," German chancellor Angela Merkel said. "There are a few things we've always wanted to say to the sorry son of a bitch, and he'll need to be in a cage when we do."
Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau points out a few small logistical problems. "Terre Haute doesn't have any fine hotels. They don't really need them. I've talked to my friends at Bombardier, and they're willing to loan us a few jets to fly the attendees from Chicago or Indianapolis to the prison. Everything will be great."
In case Mr. Trump is locked up in a different prison when next year's G-7 Summit rolls around, the leaders of the other six members of the Group of Seven have stated their willingness to sleep just about anywhere so long as they get their five minutes alone with Mr. Trump. "We're drawing the line at sleeping in vans down by the river," said Italian prime minister Giuseppe Conte, "but in America you have 'bed and breakfast inns' and they sound really nice."
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This is hilarious, worthy of The Onion.
Well played, dear friend... well played! 
