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Neoma

(10,039 posts)
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:14 AM May 2019

Restrictions on birth control and abortion could kill me.

I've posted about this before in 2013 within the pro-choice group but I think it bears repeating in a time like this. I'm going to break-down the medical lingo as much as possible. I don't really care if this makes you uncomfortable. This is how birth control and abortion is healthcare.

I have endometriosis. That is where the lining of the uterus grows in other parts of my body. When I get my period, it bleeds in places other than in my uterus. It creates scar tissue. I found out I had endometriosis when I had a 6 centimeter cyst on my left ovary. It was a complication of endometriosis. I was in pain from endometriosis for years at that point. But this pain was unbearable and called for immediate attention. My gynecologist went into surgery thinking he simply had to remove the cyst. He went into damage control mode. Endometriosis does not show up on ultrasounds, only the cyst did. He removed as much scar tissue as he could. He left the damage around my rectum because he didn't want me to have a colostomy bag. My uterus was untouched by the endometriosis. He could not find my right ovary, only a sickly looking fallopian tube. My left ovary didn't look viable (possibly no eggs,) and it was stuck to the abdomen wall by scar tissue. Because of this he didn't remove the cyst because damaging my only ovary would mean I would have no chance of having children. The fallopian tube was also wrapped around my left ovary. The weight of the ovarian cyst was so great, it flipped my fallopian tube around the ovary. That was the pain I felt that warranted immediate attention, who knows how long I lived with the cyst.

When I was out of surgery, my husband and mom gently told me the news. They explained I might never be able to have children. I was 21 years old and I ran out of the room in shock before I even heard all of it. You grow up with the notion that you have all the working parts that everyone else has. You expect to be the same.

I have to take birth control every single day to stop my periods, to stop pain. To stop it from spreading and getting worse. On a birth control pack there is a week of different colored pills, those are vitamins. I have to skip over that line and go to another pack. My periods were so painful I couldn't move from my bed for days, and I threw up often. Once a month. I am not upset that I don't have periods anymore, I think of it as a silver lining of having this medical condition. I still feel pain once and awhile from the ovary being stuck to the abdomen wall but I just have to do pain management. I don't have surgery to fix the problems scar tissue continues to make, because surgery causes more scar tissue.

For regular endometriosis pain (probably the cyst,) I was balled up, writhing in pain multiple times as a teenager, begging my parents to go to the hospital from all this, and I couldn't afford to go to the hospital at the time. I didn't even have insurance when I was experiencing endometriosis pain before. My mom had cancer and all the money went towards her COBRA. I couldn't go to the hospital for problems I was having until I married my husband at age 20 and got on his insurance. I mention this because if I had insurance during the time my mom had cancer, I probably wouldn't have a fallopian tube wrapped around my ovary and this story would be different. The healthcare system failed me. It failed my family especially when we went bankrupt over my mom's cancer. Later when my husband was out of work, I was denied to be on my husband's plan when we were trying to get insurance on the open market (instead of under Obama care, which was new and more expensive) because of this surgery for the ovarian cyst, I was flat out rejected and had to go on my dad's insurance.

What could possibly cause me to die? We don't know if my ovary is viable or not, but the fallopian tube being wrapped around means that I am more at risk of an ectopic pregnancy if I ever do get pregnant. That means the fertilized egg is likely to get attached in the fallopian tube instead of in the womb. Which is a complete time bomb. You can't replant it back into the womb, and the zygote will grow until it kills me unless I get an abortion. As for birth control, if it is removed from the market, each period I have will slowly destroy me, it could spread to my uterus and destroy it where I would absolutely have no chance of having children in the future and can spread to other organs in the pelvic area. Not to mention I am more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy without birth control because I would be ovulating again. If I have any eggs they'll tumble down and possibly get fertilized because I'm a married adult that has sex... I won't be shamed of that. I'm 30 years old, I would actually love to become a mother if a fertilized egg got implanted in the womb, a child would be wanted. However I am not devastated if I can't have children either. I'm not going to try in vitro fertilization, even if that would be the only way to have kids biologically. I think there's this stereotype of the devastated woman who wails about not being able to have kids, and that's just not me. Other health professionals basically encourage me to try to have kids naturally for about a year before getting help, and that is WITH the risk of ectopic pregnancy and the risk of endometriosis getting worse. I feel like that is gambling too much with my life. I'm not that desperate.

Naturally, I get worried when I hear anti-birth control rhetoric and when people talk about Roe. V. Wade being overturned. In a nice world, I could keep this stuff private. But we live in a world where people think I should die from an ectopic pregnancy if it means saving all the other zygotes in the world. I feel that I have to speak up.

27 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Restrictions on birth control and abortion could kill me. (Original Post) Neoma May 2019 OP
Actually, even in Alabama the law says if the mother's life is at risk is the ONLY mucifer May 2019 #1
That's just to reduce the resistance to the law. Neoma May 2019 #2
They are NOT pro-lifers. They are anti-abortion. pangaia May 2019 #8
That's true. Neoma May 2019 #10
Life at risk, noteven health. dawg day May 2019 #26
In a fanatic forced-birth state, people like you will find it increasingly hard to find doctors. Girard442 May 2019 #3
I am so heartbroken to read about your ordeal. Ohiogal May 2019 #4
Yeah. Neoma May 2019 #25
Endometriosis is a terrible condition mcar May 2019 #5
I'd move to another country. Neoma May 2019 #6
That may be your best option mcar May 2019 #7
I think there's this stereotype of the woman transformed by childbearing. BlancheSplanchnik May 2019 #9
A loved ones story...... JAD May 2019 #11
Endometriosis is a tragic and vastly under-reported condition. Hugin May 2019 #12
Fortunately managing it through birth control works for me. Neoma May 2019 #22
Glad to hear it. Hugin May 2019 #23
Birth Control Telemedicine Company To Launch In Iowa progree May 2019 #13
I'm not. Neoma May 2019 #14
I thought they were against contraceptives that prevent implanation progree May 2019 #15
Yeah, even condoms are taboo with this crowd. Hugin May 2019 #16
Oh no. Neoma May 2019 #17
Unfortunately, a lot of women go along with that progree May 2019 #19
Thank you for sharing! You help others by doing so. MLAA May 2019 #18
You know... Neoma May 2019 #24
🙂 you go girl! MLAA May 2019 #27
Has your doctor suggested Lupron? yellowdog tennessean May 2019 #20
Short answer is yes. Neoma May 2019 #21

mucifer

(23,374 posts)
1. Actually, even in Alabama the law says if the mother's life is at risk is the ONLY
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:19 AM
May 2019

reason they approve abortion. But, I'm sorry you are going through all of that and the stress of the horrible new cycles.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
2. That's just to reduce the resistance to the law.
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:27 AM
May 2019

I'm not convinced that pro-lifers actually give a shit about my life.

pangaia

(24,324 posts)
8. They are NOT pro-lifers. They are anti-abortion.
Sun May 19, 2019, 10:37 AM
May 2019

We need to ALWAYS use that term.

In fact, they are anti-women.

dawg day

(7,947 posts)
26. Life at risk, noteven health.
Sun May 19, 2019, 02:59 PM
May 2019

So a woman's health could be ruined, and that's okay with them. 22years old, and impaired for life, that's okay.
They proved it's not even about babies when they exempted in vitro embryos, because they are not yet in the women's body, so prohibiting that wont sufficiently hurta woma. Hurting women is literally what they consider their moral imperative.
.

Girard442

(6,059 posts)
3. In a fanatic forced-birth state, people like you will find it increasingly hard to find doctors.
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:33 AM
May 2019

If a doctor is treating you he/she may be forced between doing nothing and letting you die, which could result in a malpractice or even wrongful death lawsuit, or performing an abortion and then dealing with the scrutiny of law enforcement. But -- if the doctor hasn't taken you on as a patient, no lawsuit, no Fertility Cops banging on the door, no problem.

Well, not for them anyway.

Ohiogal

(31,669 posts)
4. I am so heartbroken to read about your ordeal.
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:36 AM
May 2019

It is NOT the place of the government to stick their noses into places where they don't belong, and idiot lawmakers who don't know what they're talking about should be forced to resign. And I'm sure we are the laughing stock of the world when it comes to our notion of what defines "health care". You are a living example of how our health care system has failed us. I wish you all the best.

mcar

(42,210 posts)
5. Endometriosis is a terrible condition
Sun May 19, 2019, 09:37 AM
May 2019

Far too little one known about it. I can only imagine what a nightmare scenario your not having access to BCP would be.

BlancheSplanchnik

(20,219 posts)
9. I think there's this stereotype of the woman transformed by childbearing.
Sun May 19, 2019, 10:39 AM
May 2019

She’s a Momma Bear, she’s a Tiger Mom, she’ll sacrifice her life for her child.

That simplistic story line captivates them, it cleanses the evil of Femaleness, somehow, and is the only concept of femininity that conservative minds respect.

JAD

(187 posts)
11. A loved ones story......
Sun May 19, 2019, 10:48 AM
May 2019

A close family member found out her baby (approx. 9 months) was dead in the womb on a Friday. The doctor told her to come back Monday and she would induce labor. The doctor told her don't travel over the weekend far from a hospital because she could possibly hemorrhage to death. The baby had no esophagus so all the amniotic fluid was collecting in the womb. My loved one is also a medical professional but she and her husband were overwhelmed and not thinking clearly in regards to her life and health.

THE DOCTOR DID NOT WANT ANYONE TO LOOK INTO THIS MEDICAL CASE SO SHE CHOSE HER CAREER OVER A WOMAN'S POSSIBLE DEATH BECAUSE OF A DEAD BABY IN HER WOMB.

My aunt was a 'severe' Catholic and she kept asking me why did they let her niece leave the hospital with a dead baby in her womb? I told her the reason was because the doctor did not want anyone looking into this case of a late term abortion. My aunt stopped going to church after this incident.

This occurred in 1997.

Hugin

(32,778 posts)
12. Endometriosis is a tragic and vastly under-reported condition.
Sun May 19, 2019, 11:26 AM
May 2019

Far more common than is acknowledged even by most doctors.

I had a close friend who suffered from it for years until it was recognized by a gynecologist who had herself suffered from the condition.

After a consultation, the gynecologist recommended a complete (and I do mean complete) hysterectomy in her case.

Please, do not read on if you are sensitive to a frank discussion of women's health issues.

To be successful, all of the tissue would have to be removed, because, even a small patch of hormone sensitive cells left anywhere in her body could cause a re-occurrence. As you know, misplaced uterine tissue is the definition of endometriosis. In that way, it is similar to some cancers.

She had the surgery done with the understanding that she would have to take hormones for the rest of her life to moderate the chances of a re-occurrence and the easiest way to provide these hormones was simply to take birth control pills. Which, as far as I know, she still does. I've read the pill becomes unnecessary after aging takes a person beyond the natural age of menses cessation because the other hormone producing glands stop their cycles.

Her surgery was a success in that during the time I knew her afterwards she no longer experienced any episodes of endometriosis.

It would have been good if she'd had some counseling. She was raised in a very strict religious orthodoxy and although she wasn't practicing, it was clear those edicts were grating on her conscience. To be honest, I could've used some counselling, too. But, seriously, it's a sad fact in the US, there's nobody to talk to. Especially, in the right-wing Hell we were living in.

End of frank discussion.

Please, know there are people out here who believe you should have the care and support you need available and free.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
22. Fortunately managing it through birth control works for me.
Sun May 19, 2019, 01:04 PM
May 2019

I don't really believe I need more surgeries, and comparatively the pain isn't horrible. After the fallopian tube flipped, pain doesn't phase me too much.

progree

(10,864 posts)
13. Birth Control Telemedicine Company To Launch In Iowa
Sun May 19, 2019, 11:27 AM
May 2019
https://www.iowapublicradio.org/post/birth-control-telemedicine-company-launch-iowa

A San Francisco based telemedicine company will provide another option for Iowa women to access birth control -- online.

Nurx announced it will launch in Iowa on Tuesday. The company allows women to gain access to birth control online by partnering with Iowa healthcare providers to assess patients through online intake forms. Once patients have a prescription, the company then delivers the pills to their homes.

Vice President of Clinical Services Jessica Horwitz said the service will benefit the estimated 170,000 Iowa women live in "contraception deserts."

"We mean areas where there either none or very limited sort of affirming providers that are providing contraceptives," Horwitz said. "And that may mean driving 50 miles, 100 miles to get to the closest clinic that you can get a birth control prescription, and there are counties in Iowa that meet that criteria."

Horwitz said this also includes women who may not be near a doctor who is willing to prescribe birth control
.

In addition to Iowa, Nurx is available in 24 other states.

I was shocked that there are so many areas where doctors won't prescribe birth control.

progree

(10,864 posts)
15. I thought they were against contraceptives that prevent implanation
Sun May 19, 2019, 11:43 AM
May 2019

(as that is killing a zygote, gasp!) but that it was rare for doctors and pharmacists to be opposed to the vast majority of birth control methods that prevent ovulation or fertilization in the first place. But obviously I was mistaken about that. Sigh.



Hugin

(32,778 posts)
16. Yeah, even condoms are taboo with this crowd.
Sun May 19, 2019, 11:48 AM
May 2019

Never mind anything as sciency as the pill.

The exact same low brows believe the Earth is flat, global warming is a hoax, and vaccines are evil.

But, locking up children in cages is God's will.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
17. Oh no.
Sun May 19, 2019, 12:00 PM
May 2019

They want women to be slaves to men, to leave the work force and raise babies. Full stop.

progree

(10,864 posts)
19. Unfortunately, a lot of women go along with that
Sun May 19, 2019, 12:07 PM
May 2019

Here is a recent Gallup Poll (May 2018) that breaks it out by both gender and by trimester:

Trimesters Still Key to U.S. Abortion Views, Gallup Poll May 1-10, 2018
https://news.gallup.com/poll/235469/trimesters-key-abortion-views.aspx

In this poll, men are slightly more abortion-rights in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters than women, and are the same in first trimester. (I'm sure the differences though are within the margin of error).

It also shows that people (both men and women) don't regard a developing fetus as just some cyst or clump of cells, particularly after the first trimester -- e.g. support for abortion rights falls from 60% in the first trimester to 28% in the second, and 13% in the third.

Poll results, percentage supporting abortion rights, by trimester

1st 2nd 3rd <--Trimester
60, 31, 14 Men
60, 26, 12 Women
60, 28, 13 All (both genders)

MLAA

(17,165 posts)
18. Thank you for sharing! You help others by doing so.
Sun May 19, 2019, 12:05 PM
May 2019

I think By talking about women’s health issues and reproductive healthcare (including abortion) we may remove stigma. I had an abortion at age 21 that I decided a few days ago I would no longer keep ‘secret’ and appear ashamed of.
🌷🌷🌷🌷

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
24. You know...
Sun May 19, 2019, 01:43 PM
May 2019

Sometimes to be short and sweet to people I don't know, I just go ahead and say I'm infertile. It's a high probability that it's true, and I might as well be since I'm not doing IVF nor going off birth control.

The reactions to that are fascinating because I don't think people are used to young women saying that phrase in a non-heartbroken fashion. Maybe I should say the whole dirty details in an too much information fashion.

20. Has your doctor suggested Lupron?
Sun May 19, 2019, 12:15 PM
May 2019

I, too, suffered terribly from moderately severe endometrosis for many years. Mine was undiagnosed, as doctor after doctor were unable to determine what caused my pain (and infertility). Finally, a friend who is a nurse figured it out, and I found a gynecologist who would listen. He put me on Danazol - a medication which is essentially a male hormone. Its side effects were quite nasty (weight gain, facial hair, dampening of emotions). But after 9 months, I was free of endometriosis and was able to conceive any carry my son. Then, after about two years, my endometriosis returned. By that time, Danazol had been replaced by a much nicer medication, Lupron. I took that for several months (with no side effects at all, except no periods), and it worked! I had a second child, and it has now been over 20 years, and I have had no problems whatsoever. The upshot of this is: Surgery is fine to remove larger, uncomplicated endometrial tissue growths, but it doesn't work for the tiny spots which often can't be seen by the surgeon. You must have a medication such as Lupron to eliminate all the tiny spots, so that it won't return. Neoma - if your doctor hasn't recommended Lupron, I suggest that you look into it. (And - Lupron works much better and more completely than birth control pills. The bc pills just stop the spread; they don't get rid of what is already there.) Being able to live my life without the daily pain is indescribable!

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
21. Short answer is yes.
Sun May 19, 2019, 12:20 PM
May 2019

One gynecologist gave me 4 options of either Lupron, Male hormone, a Hysterectomy or doing what I'm already doing with birth control. I decided to continue with birth control. Lupron thins bones and I don't want that.

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