DU Word of the Day: INCEL

[MineralMan]

The Toronto van murderer referred to himself as an "incel" in a Facebook post shortly before running people down in a rented van. So, I looked up the word in my favorite dictionary:

incel
aka "involuntarily celibate", a person (usually male) who has a horrible personality and treats women like sexual objects and thinks his lack of a sex life comes from being "ugly" when its really just his blatant sexism and terrible attitude. incels have little to no self awareness; even when they see other "ugly" men with girlfriends, they consider these men to be tricksters who have somehow beat the system and can get women despite being cursed with unattractiveness (in other words, theyre respectful to women and women are attracted to their personalities, but incels cant comprehend such a phenomenon). they believe that women owe them sex, and many of the more extreme incels like to spend time in incel communities on the internet coming up with ways to make women have sex with them (often involving genocide of people of color, genocide of "Chads" (men who have sex), taking rights away from women, raping them, having sex with women's dead bodies, and other horrid, disgusting things. they cant understand that that is PRECISELY why women want nothing to do with them).

I'm pretty sure Ryan is an incel. Yesterday he made a facebook post about how all women are shallow and exist to torture men by "denying" them sex, as if sex is something people "deserve", and not a privilege given by potential sexual partners that should be respected.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel

[hlthe2b]

1. I think this group has lots of crossovers/cross connection with other self-entitled groups, like

white supremacists, many Trump-supporters, RW boosting "xians"...

[MineralMan]

2. Yes. No doubt.

[NewJeffCT]

13. Not to mention

the MRA

[hlthe2b]

14. yeah... that sort of goes without saying...

[LonePirate]

3. Just another segment of the party of personal responsibility blaming someone else for their lives.

[maxsolomon]

21. Incels are not Republicans

they're maladjusted, alienated youth. If they're for Trump, it's because they want to burn the place to the ground, not because he makes the trains run on time.

I'd wager they're saying Incels are Libtard Snowflakes all over the RWNJosphere today.

[LonePirate]

25. Incels are MRAs who are definitely supporters of 45 and Republicans

[maxsolomon]

27. I'm thinking of Republicans like my gullibly family in the Midwest

Who are motivated by Abortion and Xenophobia but are otherwise well-adjusted.

So, got anything that backs that accusation up? I'm willing to read it.

[LonePirate]

30. Go compare Incels to Mens Rights Advocates. They are practically identical.

MRAs are staunch supporters of 45 and his boot licking Republican cultists. For them supporting a Dem is supporting Hillary who is the antithesis of what they represent. Incels are largely indistinguishable from MRAs in belief, outlook on the world, politics, etc. It’s plainly obvious so I am not sure why you’re in disbelief about their RW and Republican views.

[KitSileya]

32. You're failing logic 101 there.

All bunnies have fur does not mean all animals with fur are bunnies. All MRAs are Republicans does not mean that all Republicans are MRAs. Now, we can make a credible argument that all Republicans are misogynists, that all Trump supporters are racists, and that all current elected GOP politicians are contemptible (these are qualities that can be had by degrees) but being an MRA is a category.

I sincerely doubt that any MRA that voted in the 2016 election voted for Clinton. Some may have voted for Stein, which equals voting for Trump, really. If they voted Stein, it does not mean they are not misogynists, because they would have put Stein in the exceptional woman category, a technique too many assholes use to try to control women.

[maxsolomon]

41. "All Incels are MRAs; all MRAs are Trumpists, therefore all Incels are Trumpists"

That I can buy.

But do Incels identify themselves as Republicans? Conservatives? Do they even identify as MRAs? That is what I'm doubting.

Not all Republicans are Trumpists (supposedly).

[RhodeIslandOne]

55. I bet a lot voted for Gary Johnson....

[Adrahil]

4. I've known about these asshats for some time.

They refer to mass killer Elliot Rodgers as their patron saint.

[MineralMan]

5. I guess I've led an insular life.

I'd never heard the term before now. They're all just a bunch of lousy dates, I'm betting.

[Nay]

17. Lousy dates! Yep, that's for sure. They can't connect with women because

they (1)hate and fear women in general, (2) their whole aim is to get laid, and (3) these attitudes radiate out of them 24/7. Now, there are plenty of insecure women, but every woman, from the age of 12 or so, has learned how to spot signs of danger in male behavior and they stay away from boys and men who put off this vibe. Most women can tell the difference between a guy who is just shy or reserved, and a guy who is - creepy.

Of course, all of these incels could relieve themselves and get on with their lives if they'd simply hire a sex worker and relax a bit with some professional sex, and then segue into a sorta normal existence. But it also seems that they don't think they should have to spend money on a pro! Well, guys, you're caught in a net of your own making.

[treestar]

53. Or they could decide to treat women as

human and get to know them first.

They are the ones who think they are nice but ask out a woman they have never even talked to or flirted with at all and expect her to play a role; and a very shallow role at that. All because of their fear that there might be another person in there.

[Nay]

54. Of course. But that would mean discarding the script that runs constantly in

their heads: "women are evil! But I still want to f**k them! Women are evil! But I still want to f**k them!"

Sorry to be so blunt.

[peggysue2]

35. You and me both, MM

Never heard of them but I don't sense I missed anything. Just another group of white men bemoaning their slipping social-entitlement status. The world is suppose to cry because they can't get laid? Because they deserve a woman's attention when they act like jerks? Because they deserve a good-paying job without training or education? Because, because, because. And when they don't get what they deserve, they rationalize violent, murderous behavior.

Nice gig!

From the little I've read, INCEL is a splinter group of the alt-right, enablers of all things foul and destructive.

This is the House That The Trumpsters built and now defend. No excuses for any of them.

[JHB]

47. It goes beyond "lousy dates," MM...

I read the "manifesto" of the guy these people treat as some kind of martyr, Elliot Roger, after his murderous rampage in California. Now, I'm personally familiar with "socially awkward," but based on his own account this guy was 8 to 16 suites shy of a full deck. Definitely in the Negative Zone.

He'd completely freak out any time he was nudged outside his comfort zone. What terrible instances did he relate? Being told to go outside, play with the kids down the block, and make friends. And a family trip overseas to meet relatives. Naturally he blamed his step-mom (pretty sure it was step-mom, might have been his mom, I'm going off the top of my head and it was long enough ago I don't remember that detail with complete clarity. But he blamed a woman and not himself, so the larger point remains).

I'm sure he would have been a lousy date, but as far as I could tell no one ever actually rejected him because there was no sign he actually engaged in a conversation and tried asking someone out.

Part of the chain of events that set him off was losing a lottery; he was convinced he'd win it because he really, really wanted to.

There are lousy dates, there are the truly deranged, and there's pathetically insecure people who cling to the bits that the truly deranged projected because they identify with those bits and are willing to ignore the rest. And put the blame for their insecurity on anyone but themselves. That's the "incels".

[MineralMan]

48. I was deliberately understating.

[JHB]

49. And with aplomb. But these "incel" nitwits...

...try to blur the boundary between them and a far larger set of people who have faced the same clusters of problems and worked out real solutions, and didn't just embark on blaming other people for what they themselves are ultimately responsible for.

I find myself needing to speak up about that.

[MineralMan]

50. I agree. They are truly despicable

Examples of humanity, and dangerous, to boot.

[PunkinPi]

9. Yep, blogger David Futrelle has been covering this...

As I write this, it’s still not completely clear if Alek Minassian, the alleged driver of the van that killed ten pedestrians in Toronto yesterday in what appeared to be a very deliberate attack, is in fact a self-identified “involuntary celibate” trying to take revenge against the “Chads” and “Stacies” and other “normies” he blames for ruining his life — or if these reports are simply some sort of 4chan-style hoax.

But on the Incels.me forum, one of the more egregious hangouts for incels online, many are already hailing the alleged mass murderer as one of their own.

In an assortment of threads that popped up after the news media began to report on a supposed Facebook post from Minassian announcing that “the Incel Rebellion has … begun,” some of the Incels.me regulars are celebrating the killings and the alleged killer as “life fuel” for them and their nihilistic, misogynistic, misanthropic “movement.”

More here, including screenshots of comments made "claiming him" - http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2018/04/24/incels-hail-toronto-van-driver-who-killed-10-as-a-new-elliot-rodger-talk-of-future-acid-attacks-and-mass-rapes/#more-29754

[Adrahil]

15. Exactly. I follow Dave's blog. NT

[MaryMagdaline]

6. These creeps like to give themselves cool names

[Guilded Lilly]

7. I saw your post on another thread from Ohiogal

about this alarming discovery. The term “incel” was totally new to me so I appreciate your post further explaining the mindset.

Though, sadly, this kind of behavior and thinking from certain groups of ignorant, insecure males is nothing truly new. It just hasn’t been so openly and violently displayed in society before. The twisted views have carried on with more subtlety and in many instances creating a psychologically damaging victim-guilt among females that something is wrong with themselves and not the haters.

Knowledge is power, some say.

Knowledge can also be soul sickening.

[Blue_Adept]

8. Every time you think you have every level of an asshole figured out

Assholes find new ways to excrete another level like this.

[Codeine]

10. One of the most infamous incels

is a guy from Croatia who calls himself “ThatIncelBlogger.” He was arrested for attempting to rape his own mother because he blamed her for his inability to get laid. He then began a years-long effort to persuade the government to provide paid girlfriends for incels (to prevent mass shootings, dontchaknow) before converting to Islam, evidently hoping that he would be have greater success in a more strictly patriarchal environment.

In short, batshit loco.

[geardaddy]

45. Another classic incel is Ed Kemper

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Kemper

[genxlib]

11. It seems to me

That there are parallels with violent religious extremists.

It is no accident that suicide bombers are offered visions of 72 virgins in the afterlife.

Sexually frustrated young men can be dangerous when their frustrations are channeled in the wrong direction.

[NewJeffCT]

12. When I was younger

in high school and college, I guess I was "involuntarily celibate" as well. Women used to tell me I was "too nice" for them. I didn't actually have sex until the very last semester of college.

Rather than blame women, though, I blamed myself and worked on becoming more personable and interesting to be around. Though, it did take several years of ups and downs in terms of dating, I finally turned it around in my 30s.

[Orsino]

16. The Internet brings people together who otherwise would never have met.

It's a godsend to targets of abuse, but the flip side is that it gives the illusion of community to people who share impulses that once would have remained hidden out of shame.

"I'm an incel? Cool! I was always told that I was just an asshole who hated women."

[struggle4progress]

18. We should spell it "in-cell"

[Freelancer]

19. So, to be clear, is INCEL any male that can't get laid, or is it a pariticular hate group?

If INCEL is a label for anybody that can't seem to get any, then I think the AKA/definition part in the original post is really projecting a lot.

If it is a name for a hate group, why haven't we heard about this before?

[MineralMan]

20. I don't know. It's not my word.

Google it and you'll find them.

[moriah]

22. The term is abbreviation for "involuntary celibacy".

So, guys who both can't get any and focus on it as the reason their life sucks. Usually those who self-identify as "incels" online post extremely misogynistic shit, so it seems like they blame women as a whole for them not getting laid. If I had to guess, it's people who always perceived themselves as "nice guys" finishing last, and became bitter over it.

However, the phenomenon of men who think they are "nice guys" but aren't has been long recognized by women. There was a good response from Heartless Bitches International on the subject:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

Edit: Also Something Positive addressing the root issue that seems to turn people into self-professed "incels", IMHO -- http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml

[Oneironaut]

24. I think its a self-given label.

It’s not really a group, but more of a quality. It basically means that they think they’ll be a virgin for life.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

31. It's a name some men have given themselves

because they can't attract women and it's all the women's fault. It's not an organized hate group like the KKK, but there are internet groups in which these guys rant about how they deserve to get sex and women are evil for not giving it to them.

[Oneironaut]

23. Thank you, MM. They seem to rope in mentally ill teenagers and young men.

They’re very cult-like, having insider lingo and a persecution complex the size of the moon. Most of them are very unstable, and a few are dangerous. They all dehumanize women and treat them like objects. They have a distain for other men who have healthy relationships, acting like they are better at “tricking” women than they are.

[Tarc]

26. Oh, god, these "love shyness" bros are deplorable

That entry is the nail on the head, they think they are entitled to sex, and "no" is a form of discrimination.

They tried to jam their nonsense into the Wikipedia a few years ago, but it was thankfully turned aside

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. A guy is "involuntarily celibate" only if he has a repellent personality,

not because of his looks, money or social status. Plenty of men who are not especially good-looking, rich or important manage to have girlfriends or wives because they are good, kind, interesting people. Women are attracted to nice people. Sure, if someone is just looking for a pickup at a bar, the good looking people, both male and female, are going to have better luck because both the process and the goal are superficial. But even in those circumstances if a guy comes across as creepy or needy, women will avoid him no matter what he looks like. The problem these so-called incels have is that they're creeps and jerks who give off vibes that are either arrogant or stalkerish.

And, of course, they are interested only in the most attractive women and take great offense that they have no luck with them.

[MineralMan]

29. That's been my experience, too.

Truly nice guys meet and have relationships with truly nice women. They don't "get laid." That phrase is toxic, as far as I'm concerned.

Jerks? Well, they don't.

[MineralMan]

34. On our recent trip to California, my wife and I were stuck in terrible

traffic on the 405 freeway. We were behind an ugly black 20-year-old van for miles. Its windows were all heavily tinted and the body was painted flat black. On the rear window of that van was a "No fat chicks" sign. I opined that the guy driving it probably never had any "chicks" get in his rape van, because that's what it was. I have no doubt there was a mattress in the back, just in case.

Finally, we got to go past the van. In the driver's seat was a very obese man in his 30s. He looked angry. His projection of his own self-doubt and hatred is almost certainly his problem. He works hard to ensure that no woman would ever step inside his van. That's safer for him. He can just blame his own sad life on the women who have spurned him.

Sad stuff.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

42. Yikes. Sounds like he was beyond just "incel" and maybe on his way

to becoming the topic of one of those true-crime stories on Investigation Discovery. His is the last face you see before the trapdoor shuts...

[geardaddy]

46. Bingo on your last sentence.

It's not about creating a relationship to these creeps. It's strictly about using women for sex.

[Hekate]

36. We have an apologist in another thread. I'm sure he doesn't think that's what he's doing.

[MineralMan]

37. Really? I'll go look.

Thanks.

[Nay]

38. Saw that. A couple of 'poor menz' posts? I replied to one of them rather pointedly,

if we're talking about the same guy.

[Hekate]

39. Probably. They need intervention starting in 6th grade, honest to gods. Whatever happened to...

...parental advice? Or Health class, the boys' version? Or any adult in their lives telling pubescent boys to brush their teeth, use deodorant, and treat girls like human beings, not blow-up dolls? And to stay away from Internet chat rooms?

Good looks? I've known homely men and women whose smile could light up a room. High income? Downright poor people partner up all the time.

[Nay]

44. Exactly. They need extensive socialization, always have, and now that the internet

exists they get 'socialized' by porn, MRA chat groups, etc. If they actually started a life and stopped focusing on all them bad wimmin, why, guess what? They might get OK jobs, go to OK social activities, meet real people, including women, learn to treat them like human beings, and . . . they'd have a pleasant time. As many have pointed out, ugly people and poor people meet and marry all the time.

I think that sounds like too much work, though.

[MicaelS]

43. Legal prostitution exists in this country in areas of Nevada.

The women have to frequent undergo health checks. It is expensive, as are many things. That is probably beneath an incel's dignity. Assuming they have any in the first place.

[Civic Justice]

51. "Exposed'.....

https://upload.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1017&pid=489622

[AnnieBW]

52. There's only 2 ways out of a relationship with a guy like that

The women's shelter, or the body bag. Treat a woman like she's an equal partner in the relationship, and she will respond accordingly.