Tips to Look After Your Husband (1950s)

[kpete]

I will preface this by adding that - mr pete laughed his head off when I showed THIS to him:

?w=600&h=719

[samnsara]

1. my head just exploded....

...I HATE housewifery. Hubby baked something the other day and he turned the oven light on.. I had to call him up to figure out how to turn the darned oven light off.

Im actually proud of that fact!

[tblue37]

12. I store pots and pans in my oven. nt

[leftyladyfrommo]

43. Me, too.

My stove is 20 year's old and the oven is pristeen. I did use the burners to heat water but the mice ate the insulation and now
I am afraid to turn it on. The mice are gone now.

I think I will just buy an electric teapot to heat water.

[Hekate]

67. I store Tupperware in mine. Hazard warnng: always check before preheating oven!

[tblue37]

68. I never use the oven, so it's no problem for me. nt

[B2G]

71. What the heck do all of you eat?

I can't imagine not using the oven.

[malaise]

85. I love cooking and baking

but not for any of the reasons in that crap piece.

[northoftheborder]

2. I don't remember any articles about "How to look after your wife"!!!!!

[Ohiogal]

6. Oh yes

Give them an occasional kiss on the cheek and give them a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas.

(I saw that in an old ad somewhere)

Talk about barf-worthy!

[brewens]

34. We men know that instinctively, as long as my little Stepford girl has followed the rules

above, I allow her to enjoy herself sometimes. It's only fair.

[Ohiogal]

3. I can't believe any woman

actually followed this drivel??? And that it was actually published somewhere?

Must be for a religious cult!

[enough]

13. You must be delightfully young! This was absolutely standard fare during the 50s

when I was growing up. We heard this stuff all the time in “Home Economics” classes at public school. (Of course the boys didn’t have to take those classes, required for girls all the way through high school.)

Things have actually gotten a lot better in many ways.

[Ohiogal]

16. I'm not THAT young

I'm 61 ..... and yes we did have to take Home Ec in school, boys had to take shop.

I don't ever remember having to learn anything about "how to take care of a man," though. Thank goodness!

I sucked at sewing .... took me the whole 9 weeks to make my apron ..... to this day I hate to even sew a hem or a button on something.

[Madam Mossfern]

64. My mom had to finish my apron for me

Im not particularly fond of sewing either.
Sewing machines scare me.

[Rhiannon12866]

95. We also had home ec - in junior high

The cooking part was a bust since we only had time to make cookies or candy. But I really liked the sewing part, we made a reversable kerchief, a beach bag and worked up to a dress. The other girls just made a shift, but mine had long sleeves and pockets! I made a lot of my own clothes after that and it didn't hurt that mother sewed too.

But I think that boys could sure could have benefited by those classes, too - especially cooking! And I would have given anything to have learned more about cars at a young age. I've often thought of finding a class even now - these are things that all kids could benefit from, it made no sense to teach only one gender...

[treestar]

99. We had home ec/shop in 8th grade

The next year, 9th grade, they opened up the classes to the opposite sexes. There was a girl or 2 who took shop and some boys who took home ec. One boy asked to leave algebra to take his cookies out of the oven! This was in the mid-1970s.

[Rhiannon12866]

100. That's the one year that we had home ec - 8th grade

It was only a couple of times a week. And I was in junior high in the mid/late '60s, so it was still only girls in home ec back then - though times were definitely changing.

I'm not even sure what the boys took in shop, but I really wanted to know more about cars. Everyone drives so I have no idea why they thought they had to discriminate, and it's the same for cooking - everyone eats too!

And kudos to your friend who left algebra! I only wish I had had that excuse!

[RandomAccess]

105. You were born in 1957 -- by the time you were growing up

in the 60s -- esp. the late 60s -- things were starting to get better. MANY changes for women started happening in the 60s -- President Kennedy had a Women's Commission and that started the ball rolling in some ways.

Women were included in the Equal Employment legislation -- originally as a joke, but actually it was intended as a poison pill.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission was founded in 1965 actually had teeth that made discrimination in employment actionable.

And N.O.W. was founded in 1968, I think. I didn't catch the wave until 6 or 8 years later. I was one of those poor uninformed fools who would say, "I'm not a feminist BUT ... but I believe in equal pay for equal work," and other such obviously right things women were asking for and demanding. (I finally got a chance to really find out what the Women's Movement was all about and realized I'd ALWAYS been a feminist.)

But I can assure you that this was the model of womanhood we were presented with prior to all this dramatic and revolutionary social change. Teen magazines were filled with it too -- how you had to let your date pick the movie all the time or whatever else you'd do on a date, let him do all the talking, ask him about his interests, etc. You were there just to reflect his glory in his eyes.

[samnsara]

38. In home ec we learned how to sew an apron!!

[leftyladyfrommo]

45. I made a really pretty apron. It was pink gingham with

little flowers. I git an A on it but I don't think I ever used it for cooking. It was too pretty.

Remember those really frilly aprons for special occasions?

Remember thise pointy bras filled with foam rubber. And the foam rubber would get hard and turn yellow and break off into hard littl
e pieces? What a hoot.

[highplainsdem]

14. Sadly, lots of articles like that, early '60s as well -- and a hit song with that message:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/12/jack-jones-wives-and-lovers_n_3745364.html

Jack Jones’ ‘Wives & Lovers’ Could Be One Of The Most Offensive Songs, Ever (VIDEO)



As even the most casual of ‘Mad Men’ viewers (seasons 1-4) can tell you, the early 1960s was not a lovely time to be a woman. The Don Drapers of the world were only too happy to serve up offensive comments, cloaked in a light layer of English Leather and shined to a high-gloss finish with a heaping dollop of Brylcreem.

And, in one very eyebrow-raising example, sung to a swingin’ beat perfect for your next John Cheever-esque cocktail party, I introduce you to Jack Jones’ “Wives & Lovers.“ It’s a serious little ditty that tells you — in no unclear terms — that if you have the audacity to wear curlers around your husband, don’t be surprised if that husband leaves you.

Some other thoughts:

- You know you have a one-way express ticket to Offensive Town when a “love” song starts out with: “Hey, little girl...”

-snip-

[Ohiogal]

17. The one that made me barf

was Paul Anka singing about "You're Having My Baby".

[sl8]

25. "For Better or For Worse" (first ?) comic

I think that HuffPo article gives too much credit to Jack Jones and not enugh to Burt Bacharach and Hal David.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wives_and_Lovers

[Lucinda]

70. Sooo good!

[samnsara]

39. The Mad Men music was great. My fav song from the show was...

He hit me... and it felt like a Kiss...

[rainin]

101. A man like that would never be faithful. n/t

[Bluepinky]

23. In the 1970s, one advice columnist recommended the wife wear nothing but Saran wrap

as a way to “spice up their sex life”.

[eleny]

41. That was Phyllis Schlafly

I recall when she suggested that.

[Arkansas Granny]

27. It was the norm. Think "Leave it to Beaver", "Father Knows Best"

and numerous other tv shows. Women's magazines often carried articles with similar advice. Few married women worked outside the home and career women in that era fought discrimination that is against the law now.

When I graduated high school in the 60's, the only opportunities for women in the military were either nursing or secretarial positions.

That's why it disturbs me that young women take a lot of the rights they enjoy for granted. They don't seem to be aware of what their predecessors went through to attain those rights.

Sorry if this sounds like a lecture.

[Ohiogal]

30. Not a lecture, Ark

I agree 100%. And any woman who would vote for the Dump is guilty, too.

[leftyladyfrommo]

37. I graduated high school and college in the 60's.

You could be a nurse, a secretary, a teacher, a retail clerk, a librarian.

That was a lot better than the 1500's when your choices were to die in childbirth or be a nun.

[Madam Mossfern]

65. Same here

I wanted to be a set designer, but I was told that I couldn't because the union you needed to belong to in order to design sets professionally was closed to women. I just said 'screw it' and became a figure painter. Back then women went to college to get their 'MRS degree.' There were so many other options that I didn't even know existed that weren't presented to me because of my gender.

[leftyladyfrommo]

75. I had a degree in Anthropology.

I was turned down for grad school. I had all the requirements.

The guys didn't want women in the field because they liked to work in their skivvies and could not do that with women around.

[Ohiogal]

78. The New York Times

printed a whole article full of stories by women who were told they weren't allowed to become this or work doing that because of their gender. Reading them just made me want to cry. One of the more heartbreaking ones was from a woman who, as a little girl, raised her hand enthusiastically when the teacher in elementary school asked for volunteers to raise the flag that day. She was reprimanded and told "Raising the flag is only for boys!"

I don't know why that one sticks out in my mind.

[renate]

94. Because it's ridiculous and horrible?

Wow, I knew things used to totally suck, but "raising the flag is only for boys"?

[Ilsa]

102. I completely agree with this statement:

That's why it disturbs me that young women take a lot of the rights they enjoy for granted. They don't seem to be aware of what their predecessors went through to attain those rights. 

So much has changed for the better for women compared to just 50 years ago. Yes, there is still more work to be done, but women before me and in my generation have fought hard for change.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

52. That was the '50s. That was how a lot of us were brought up.

You were supposed to get married, have kids, and take care of your husband, which at a minimum meant having dinner ready and the house cleaned up and making sure the kids didn't bother him. My mother did some of those those things, although she was never as subservient as the article in the OP recommended. However, she always had dinner ready when my dad got home from work and she made sure we behaved ourselves because "Daddy's had a hard day at work and he doesn't want you kids to bother him."

[Ohiogal]

79. My mother made sure dinner was on the table when my dad got home, too

But her reason was because, if dinner wasn't ready, he'd start drinking, instead, and then the crazy behavior would start. And I remember those times, too.

[Yupster]

4. They missed the most important one

Get him a beer.

[subterranean]

54. And it better be cold!

[pangaia]

5. republicans want to bring back "the good old days."

[barbtries]

33. they really do.

think about Kelly waxing nostalgic about the days when women were "honored" - yeah right.
girls were girls and men were men.
that so many people still haven't figured out that we're all people drives me apeshit.

[Glamrock]

7. You know what?

A) My wife is not my servant. She's my best friend.
B) I'm not this shallow, self centered, or fucking fragile! Gimme a break man! Men in the 50's must have been tiny if they expected to be treated like this.

[CountAllVotes]

10. My father did all of the cooking/cleaning/etc.

He used to say, "A woman can be ugly as sin, I don't care. If she cannot cook, to hell w/her!".

My late mother did not enjoy cooking. The last cake she baked (package mix) had the spoon inside of it as she dropped it it seemed.

That said, I do know of some of these types of "wives". A sick/sad lot I always thought. My friend in school's mother was the AVON Lady. She used to go door to door spreading gossip mostly. Fun times NOT indeed!

[Ohiogal]

18. Hilarious about the Avon Lady spreading gossip!

Ours was like that, too! A nosy old biddy.

When she rang the doorbell, my mom used to take us and hide till she went away!

[CountAllVotes]

32. This one was bald

She wore a wig. My mother used to say, "Oh sh*t! There she is with that ugly damned wig flopping around!".

My mother never minced words, never.

AVON CALLLING!!!!!

Mother couldn't stand them. As for my father, he had one thing he used to say abt. pukes and that was, "Never knew one that had a god damned thing!". Lots of cursing in the household growing up had you not guessed!

[Ohiogal]

20. Love your post, Glamrock!

[Glamrock]

24. Grassy ass!

And I love your vinyl posts mama! Damn, but you got good taste!

[Ohiogal]

28. Thank you!

[Glamrock]

31. I work in Ohio.

Do you act as a library? Cause I've got a vinyl to mp3 turntable.....

[MustLoveBeagles]

56. This

[MoonRiver]

8. LOL!

Fortunately my husband has been well trained to not expect any of the above! We're still together 30 years later!

[smirkymonkey]

9. How quaint!

Gag! I never would have made it in the 50's without being seriously medicated.

[dixiegrrrrl]

19. aaaand now you know what 'Valley of the Dolls" was about back then.

Also known as uppers or downers. Many wives were given medication to get thru their days of this life, and worse yet, they thought they were the problem.

[smirkymonkey]

42. I completely understand why.

In my opinion, the women who used drugs to escape this reality were the sane ones. Unfortunately, it did many of them in. They were in a lose/lose situation.

[sl8]

11. "Be a little gay ..."

"... and a little more interesting."

Sounds like a 1950s euphemism for "bi".

[Crunchy Frog]

26. The best advice in the entire article.

[underpants]

36. Great catch

[grantcart]

49. Only decent advice in the column

[left-of-center2012]

53. "Be a little gay ..."

Does my high school friend who stood 5' 3" count?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

55. "Gay" did not have the common meaning in the '50s that it does now.

For hundreds of years it just meant cheerful and happy.

[Cartoonist]

57. A girl named Gay

She was a neighbor of mine. The word was not in fashion when her parents named her. She grew to hate it because sometimes people would ask her, "are you Gay?" just like you would ask someone "are you Susan?"
She didn't appreciate the hilarity that ensued.

[sl8]

60. Riiight. Next you'll be telling me I've been donning the wrong kind of apparel every Christmas.

[crazycatlady]

98. Well you can put yourself in mortal peril

[img]https://i.chzbgr.com/full/1394823424/h8CD7145E/[img/]

[sl8]

106. Ha!

I absolutely do not have the intestinal fortitude to try to dress a cat.

[oberliner]

15. How many of those men are fooling around with/sexually harassing their secretaries while at work?

As the wife struggles to keep things together at home.

[Shanti Mama]

21. My wildly intelligent, highly educated mother, with five children

suffered through all of this, and never thought to question it. She went to an elite women's college that sent a few of its women into academia and other places of fulfillment and power. Most grads married and raised kids. Those who followed a different drummer rarely married.

This is normalization, folks!

My heart aches for her. No wonder she turned to drink.

[dalton99a]

22. How to look after your wife and children, Billy Graham-style:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2018/02/21/divorce-drugs-drinking-billy-grahams-children-and-their-absent-father/
Divorce, drugs, drinking: Billy Graham’s children and their absent father
by William Martin | February 21

...

After their marriage in August 1943, Ruth caught a chill while returning from their honeymoon. Instead of calling to cancel a routine preaching engagement in Ohio and staying at the bedside of his new bride, Billy checked her into a hospital and kept the appointment, sending her a telegram and a box of candy for consolation. She felt hurt, but soon learned that nothing came before preaching on her husband’s list of priorities. ...

In 1945, Graham became a full-time evangelist, a job that had him traveling throughout the United States and Europe. Perhaps sensing the start of a lifelong pattern, and pregnant with their first child, Ruth moved in with her parents in Montreat, N.C., a Presbyterian retirement community. The Bells provided her with companionship to ease the loneliness she felt during her husband’s long absences and were there to share important moments — when their first child, Virginia (always called “Gigi”), was born in 1945, Billy was away on a preaching trip.

As Graham’s crusades took him throughout the world, little was left for Ruth and the children — Gigi, Anne, then Ruth (long called Bunny), Franklin and Ned. Once, when Ruth brought Anne to a crusade and let her surprise her father while he was talking on the telephone, he stared at the toddler with a blank look, not recognizing his own daughter. In a turnabout a few years later, young Franklin greeted his father’s homecoming from a crusade with a puzzled, “Who he?” ...

If the children commented on their father’s absence, they were told he had “gone somewhere to tell the people about Jesus.” Gigi remembered that “Mother never said, ‘Daddy’s going away for a month.’ Instead, she would say, ‘Daddy will be home in a month. We’ll do such and such before he comes back.’ ” She also noted that, particularly when she was younger, “I thought everyone’s daddy was gone. And my granddaddy was such a father figure for us, that it never hit me that it was all that unusual.” ...

[jalan48]

29. Our neighbor required his wife to be wearing a dress when he got home from work.

Even as a kid I thought that odd.

[leftyladyfrommo]

35. that was my mother. She bought that hook, line and sinker

There was a wildly popular book out in the 1970's called The Total Woman by Marabel Morgan. It was just chock full of ideas on how to keep your marriage alive. If you really want a good laugh read this book.

My mother would change clothes every day about a half an hour before my dad got home. She always wore a dress. And put makeup on.

Right up to the time my dad died she would always come home at noon to fix his lunch. He couldn't even fix a sandwich.

And people wonder why I never married.

[mia]

44. The Total Woman: How to Make Your Marriage Come Alive - Marabel Morgan

One of our local churches had her as a guest speaker way back then. This took place in someone's living room so there were probably not more than 20 women there.

My memory of the plastic wrap idea came from Marabel herself. She suggested that we get naked, sit on top of the refrigerator and wrap ourselves in Saran Wrap to surprise our husbands*. Seriously.


*so that he would notice me before he gets a beer, I wondered.

[leftyladyfrommo]

47. Yes. Or meet your man at the door wrapped in saran wrap.

Mist 50's men would have propably gone for the beer.

I remember one woman who wrapped herself up in saran wrap and met her husband at the door. He was standing there with his boss. He had invited his boss home for dinner and forgot to tell his wife.

[CountAllVotes]

46. I guess she never read ...

The Joy of Sex

Wow was that ever a popular book in the early 70's. Too little too late for her I suppose. Sad too!

[leftyladyfrommo]

48. She claimed she had a great sex life.

I really don't know exactly what she meant be that and I wasn't about to ask.

[CountAllVotes]

74. I never asked either

But that was a no-no topic too!

Great fun in those crap be a housewife and shut-up DEAR days not!

[leftyladyfrommo]

76. I just never married. I was lucky. nt

[pamela]

40. .....

[struggle4progress]

50. +

[Takket]

51. .

[Lebam in LA]

58. I failed these rules miserably

hence, 3 ex-husbands

[MustLoveBeagles]

59. Good grief

[Pathwalker]

61. Hence, that primal scream from the kitchen, as women

ran out of their houses and into the street, hurling their aprons to the wind, screaming; "Nevermore! Nevermore!"

Shit like this was WHY women's lib came to be.

[Afromania]

62. Wow, that's rediculous.

[MariaCSR]

63. You'd be surprised how many ppl STILL believe this today.

I just posted this on instagram with the caption "can you believe this?" and two people commented with "i agree with this"


smh

[Ohiogal]

80. Yikes!

[FarCenter]

66. This was for those who aspired to the Post WW II bourgeoisie ideal in the cities and suburbs

It did not apply, for example to the 1/6 of women who were farmer's wives.

[lunasun]

92. Definitely not for farms also not for city suburb married cleaning ladies , cooks, seamstress etc.

In other words this was middle class and above ideals
Some will talk about when women started to work not realizing plenty always were

[FarCenter]

93. A half century earlier, a majority lived on farms

And everybody worked, including the kids when not in school.

[NurseJackie]

69. It works! WE do these things FOR EACH OTHER all the time.

[Lucinda]

72. I thought I was going to be the only one who answered this way!

We don't do those specific things necessarily, but we both have our little things that we do for each other on a daily basis.

For example, he is both kitchen manager and cook in a super hot restaurant kitchen, so I try and make sure the house is cool when he gets in, even though I may have kept it warmer during the day to keep my achy joints from complaining. We then adjust the temp from there once he cools off. I have health issues and often will be in bed when he gets home, but if I need to lie down, I make sure the lights are on in his office and the living room, and the little furry monsters have been fed and watered so he can relax when he gets home without having to deal with hungry kittehs.

He does a thousand little things for me daily.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

[NurseJackie]

89. Teamwork! Give and take. What goes around comes around.

You and I are very fortunate to have it in our lives.

[Lucinda]

90. Absolutely!

[sunonmars]

73. or as my mother used to say.....

Married life is like a deck of cards.....

You need a heart to love him...

A diamond to marry him.....

A club to beat him to death with....

and a spade to bury the bastard in the back yard.....

[3catwoman3]

77. My mom, soon to be 96, remembers...

...my dad's father telling her, when they were newlyweds, to keep a good supply of rubbing alcohol on hand so she could give my dad a foot massage when he got home from work. My mom was a nurse. If anyone needed a foot massage at the end of a work day, it would have been her.

And, "offer to take off his shoes?" Hell no! This ain't Downton Abbey.

[Runningdawg]

81. Probably an unpopular opinion from an old woman

Let me preface this by saying I am a stay-at-home wife, we do not have children and my husband of 19 years treats me like a queen.
While the article goes overboard - I might mix him a drink but he takes off his own shoes...I make sure the house is clean and dinner is prepped before he gets home so that he has his quiet time. I also shower in the late afternoon, after the chores are done. My hair and makeup are always simple, but I make an effort. It might seem silly and old fashioned but my husband's smile when he walks through the door says it all.

[leftyladyfrommo]

87. If it works for both of you then it works.

If you are happy then it doesn't matter what other people think.

I think my mother liked playing the good wife. She was a good wife but she wasn't a good mother. She wasn't able to balance the 2 roles.

[dlk]

82. This is the World the Republicans and Trumpers want to Return to

Good luck with that.

[Skittles]

83. "his world of strain and pressure"

I love the advice to "be a little gay"

[malaise]

84. ROFL

Makes you want to scream and I thought of an appropriate very old joke

Why did Pond's cream?
Because Max Fact 'er!!!

[williesgirl]

86. This Feminist just shuddered!

[treestar]

88. That is sickening

Glad I was not an adult back then. I would not have been able to stand that much male supremacy!

[Blue Owl]

91. Got that, Melania?

n/t

[GulfCoast66]

96. I do the cooking, clean the floors, dust the furniture and generally straighten the place up.

The wife does her share as well!

We have been together 30 years and are still best friends. I would like to have a talk with her about being a little gay...sounds interesting.

[csziggy]

97. My deal with my husband - I cook, he does the clean up

He also washes most of the clothes.

Most of our married life we both worked on the farm so splitting the chores inside the house the same way we split them on the farm seemed reasonable.

[Laffy Kat]

103. This was soooo my mother.

I grew up despising marriage due to watching her be a doormat. My dad cheated on her all the time with independent working women while Mom stayed home and adhered to that drivel. This was during the Mad Men era.

[Beartracks]

104. I think this is a more modern write-up, satirizing the Cleaver era. n/t