On an Old Bearded Atheist Being Mistaken for Santa Claus

[MineralMan]

At age 72, my full beard has completely gone from a nice chestnut brown to pure white over the past dozen years. I still wear it as a medium length full beard and mustache, which varies in length, depending on when I visit the barber. Generally, toward the end of the year, I let it grow longer for protection against the chill of a Minnesota winter.

I'm about 6' tall, and have something of a belly, although I'm not obese. I tend to wear jeans and flannel shirts during the winter months, including a couple of favorite ones in solid red. So, it's not much of a surprise when children under the age of about six and over the age of two stare at me when I'm out in public. Some even alert their parents and point at me.

When I notice this, I rumble out a basso profundo "Ho, Ho, Ho!" and a "Merry Christmas!" directly to the children who notice me. Smiles are universal. I'm an atheist, but those kids worship Santa Claus at that age, and I never mind being mistaken for the jolly old elf. Smiles and laughter are precious, so encouraging both is a good work.

[ExciteBike66]

1. You sit on a throne of lies...

"Elf" reference ftw...

[ProudLib72]

2. I always thought of you more as Krampus

Don't you put the children you catch on your lawn into bags and hang them up in the trees?

[MineralMan]

4. Nah. That's Fred. He's a mean old SOB.

I don't ever hang out with him.

[Phoenix61]

3. Nothing better than

making a child laugh and smile.

[KatyMan]

5. When our youngest was in elementary school in the mid 90s

I got volunteered for some meet the teacher night to don the Clifford the Dog costume and let me tell you those little kids were just beside themselves when they saw me, it still brings a little tear to the eye.
Well done Mineral Man! All the best! And happy new year!

[MineralMan]

6. Children are wonderful. Their minds are open

and accepting. Sadly, they have to learn that all is not as it appears, but there's no hurry, I think.

[Bantamfancier]

7. Little ones are the best.

My 8 year old granddaughter prefaced her request for me to play Santa at her school's breakfast with Santa party by saying "I know Santa is real. But he can't be everywhere at the same time. That's why daddies and grandpas dress up like him."

It took just 6 weeks for my mustache to grow in on my Amish style beard. My wife declared that the suits she would let me buy looked cheap and there was no way I was spending a couple of hundred on a "nice" suit. So she sewed a custom tailored Santa outfit for me. A little whitener in my eyebrows and I was good to go.

I had a blast. Did the breakfast, a birthday party for another granddaughter ( where they had the party was a school. there was a basketball tourney going on and you should have seen the kids because when you're Santa, the ref will call a time out when you walk out on the court.) Did an in house visit for a family with 12 grandkids, 5 families and great-grandpa. Went to work dressed up and with my two elf helpers visited all 5 floors and everyone got a picture with Santa.

I'm now doing hospital visits and in house visits for kids too sick to come to me. Christmas doesn't end just because it's December 26th. It's something I would urge anyone with the desire to do. I will shave off the mustache New Year's Eve, but come September I'll be back.

Keep giving those kids a thrill MM. The world doesn't need them to grow up so fast. I've taken to carrying candy canes with me so we they insist they've found Santa shopping at the local Krogers, I can give them a reward.

[MineralMan]

8. Nice. Playing Santa is a good work!

I don't ever do the sitting down Santa with kids on my lap. Just casual Santa encountered in unexpected places, and in his street clothes.

[SeattleVet]

9. Good on you!

A few years ago we went to a little private ski lodge for New Years. You took a snow-cat from the parking lot a couple of miles in to the lodge, and got back the same way. My skiing days are over (really bad knees), but it was a fun time and they had a lot of other activities; I mostly sat around reading, or noodling on a guitar that one of the teens had brought up.

On the trip back down the mountain on New Years Day I was next to a family with 2 kids - about 1-½ and 3 or so. I have a full bushy white (I like to think 'silver') beard, and was wearing a dark red stocking cap. Littlest kid was next to me, staring most of the way down, with wonder in her eyes. She finally pointed to me and said, "Ho, ho ho!". I gave her a "Ho ho ho" right back, and said something like, "even Santa gets to go skiing after Christmas is over", mostly for the benefit of the older kid.

Yep, just one more Atheist playing Santa!

[aka-chmeee]

10. Been a real beard Santa for years

In this rural area, there weren't any "professional" Santas. Wife and I are fairly busy, probably 15 or 20 "jobs" this year; schools, family parties, photographers, community parties, etc. Nearly anyone can afford this Santa as my preferred payment is a plate of cookies. I enjoy reminding my fundy snob friends the real reason for the season and who really started a war on Christmas in colonial America.